make someone laugh, pt 2

[skyblue1]

Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.


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[El]

...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information.   

And all the things I'd be uncomfortable in doing as I feel it's not honest and mere sugar coating. I couldn't be with a woman like that.

My checklist would be more like:

Being "needy" = two can play this mind game, I will make you regret that
Being silent = whatever, can't help if you don't say shit
Wanting "physical attention" = seductive asshole mode engaged
Being insecure = pull yourself together you got this <issue>, here's <solution> to deal with it.
Crying for no reason = then I'll give her a hug and then pseudo-pyschologist mode engaged
She's extremely pissed off at you for any or no reason = RUN LIKE FUCK, SPARE YOUR TESTICLES!
Giving you shit over something trivial = Antagonize until she's royally pissed off for entertainment. Then follow the above.
She gives you that "death stare" = Don't touch anything, do not make eye contact, walk away slowly.
Being too "excitable" = Good luck with that, just don't give her any sweets or you'll experience "the crash" effect.

...woooooowwwwww.

[ProfessorFarnsworth]

...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information.   

And all the things I'd be uncomfortable in doing as I feel it's not honest and mere sugar coating. I couldn't be with a woman like that.

My checklist would be more like:

Being "needy" = two can play this mind game, I will make you regret that
Being silent = whatever, can't help if you don't say shit
Wanting "physical attention" = seductive asshole mode engaged
Being insecure = pull yourself together you got this <issue>, here's <solution> to deal with it.
Crying for no reason = then I'll give her a hug and then pseudo-pyschologist mode engaged
She's extremely pissed off at you for any or no reason = RUN LIKE FUCK, SPARE YOUR TESTICLES!
Giving you shit over something trivial = Antagonize until she's royally pissed off for entertainment. Then follow the above.
She gives you that "death stare" = Don't touch anything, do not make eye contact, walk away slowly.
Being too "excitable" = Good luck with that, just don't give her any sweets or you'll experience "the crash" effect.

...woooooowwwwww.

I assume that's sarcasm to imply how beta-as-fuck I am? And how I'll never get a girlfriend due to such an attitude?

But seriously though, I have pretty much no empathy so it'd be a nightmare for me to deal with someone who has high emotional needs. I'm more like a machine that follows trained responses when it comes to handling emotional issues. Hell, I can't even understand my own emotions sometimes because of it.

[El]

...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information.   

And all the things I'd be uncomfortable in doing as I feel it's not honest and mere sugar coating. I couldn't be with a woman like that.

My checklist would be more like:

Being "needy" = two can play this mind game, I will make you regret that
Being silent = whatever, can't help if you don't say shit
Wanting "physical attention" = seductive asshole mode engaged
Being insecure = pull yourself together you got this <issue>, here's <solution> to deal with it.
Crying for no reason = then I'll give her a hug and then pseudo-pyschologist mode engaged
She's extremely pissed off at you for any or no reason = RUN LIKE FUCK, SPARE YOUR TESTICLES!
Giving you shit over something trivial = Antagonize until she's royally pissed off for entertainment. Then follow the above.
She gives you that "death stare" = Don't touch anything, do not make eye contact, walk away slowly.
Being too "excitable" = Good luck with that, just don't give her any sweets or you'll experience "the crash" effect.

...woooooowwwwww.

I assume that's sarcasm to imply how beta-as-fuck I am? And how I'll never get a girlfriend due to such an attitude?

But seriously though, I have pretty much no empathy so it'd be a nightmare for me to deal with someone who has high emotional needs. I'm more like a machine that follows trained responses when it comes to handling emotional issues. Hell, I can't even understand my own emotions sometimes because of it.

Infer as you wish.  I'll say, though, that you also seem to assume that all displays of emotion are inherently manipulative, and that you seem to assume a romantic relationship will inherently be adversarial.

I definitely agree the chart is overly simplistic, and rather patronizing (frankly, it could apply to either gender just as easily).  However, having had the experience of having been with a caring but clueless (and/or extremely passive/"if I don't know what to do, I panic and do nothing" kind of philosophy) guy or two in my time, I gotta say, there've been moments where that retarded chart would have been an improvement, for both involved parties. 

'Course, I, like most of the people here, am never remotely spazzy and never find myself having trouble communicating my wants and needs clearly, directly and simply in an easily understandable way to a third party, so clearly, if I do not do so, it is a conscious choice.

[ProfessorFarnsworth]

Fair enough, can't argue with that. But technically I see everything as a adversarial challenge as I'm paranoid. I always assume hostility or manipulation when there is clearly not, so I reciprocate this perceived threat. A rather compulsive nature I find myself unable to avoid and working with a psychologist to resolve. I'm also quite guilty of subterfuge because it's like a guilty pleasure of mine.

But you must know by now that usually when I post something like that, it's usually an exaggerated satire of something I'm thinking about, and not necessarily my raw true thoughts. But still I like to something do things like that to engage in dialogue, that or someone I forget that I'm not on 4chan's /pol/ when I post things like that.

My question is though, what benefit is that to use emotions only to convey something when someone is not incline to explain their situation? I mean wouldn't it be logical to simply say what's on your mind and seek resolution as quick as possible? And I admit, I stumble into this situation myself and before I sought psychological help, I couldn't find resolve.

I assume it's because sometimes people are rather disenfranchised to speak their mind when they fear the response of said person (and the example post I made is why)? Or is it a sense of empathetic connectivity that needs to be established before a person is willing to trust their partner and say something, a form of comforting? Or is it because the person is actually unsure of their own feelings and is still questioning them, and it requires an external input to help them articulate their thoughts and thus, find a solution (or just needs someone to listen/comfort)? Or is there an underlying neurological/psychological condition/trauma that makes it impossible to be solved by merely a quick chat and they need assurance and comfort to seek help from a professional? Or (how could I forget the obvious), it's a strictly confidential matter and none of my business and the person simply isn't able to keep a brave face?

If it's any of those, I see a rational basis in them so I can response but cannot feel that emotional connection that ordinary people may feel.

[Bastet]

Beware the ginger

[El]

Fair enough, can't argue with that. But technically I see everything as a adversarial challenge as I'm paranoid. I always assume hostility or manipulation when there is clearly not, so I reciprocate this perceived threat. A rather compulsive nature I find myself unable to avoid and working with a psychologist to resolve. I'm also quite guilty of subterfuge because it's like a guilty pleasure of mine.

But you must know by now that usually when I post something like that, it's usually an exaggerated satire of something I'm thinking about, and not necessarily my raw true thoughts. But still I like to something do things like that to engage in dialogue, that or someone I forget that I'm not on 4chan's /pol/ when I post things like that.

My question is though, what benefit is that to use emotions only to convey something when someone is not incline to explain their situation? I mean wouldn't it be logical to simply say what's on your mind and seek resolution as quick as possible? And I admit, I stumble into this situation myself and before I sought psychological help, I couldn't find resolve.

I assume it's because sometimes people are rather disenfranchised to speak their mind when they fear the response of said person (and the example post I made is why)? Or is it a sense of empathetic connectivity that needs to be established before a person is willing to trust their partner and say something, a form of comforting? Or is it because the person is actually unsure of their own feelings and is still questioning them, and it requires an external input to help them articulate their thoughts and thus, find a solution (or just needs someone to listen/comfort)? Or is there an underlying neurological/psychological condition/trauma that makes it impossible to be solved by merely a quick chat and they need assurance and comfort to seek help from a professional? Or (how could I forget the obvious), it's a strictly confidential matter and none of my business and the person simply isn't able to keep a brave face?

If it's any of those, I see a rational basis in them so I can response but cannot feel that emotional connection that ordinary people may feel.

re: the long line of possible reasons people don't speak their minds:  All are potential reasons, yes, and these are probably only a few of the possibilities.  As is manipulation (manipulation is almost always an option to explain behavior).  Depends on the person, on the situation, etc.  Personally (as an additional option), one of my spazzy little quirks is I have trouble verbally communicating when extremely upset (can get a debilitating stutter/have trouble processing in a way that makes coherent sentences come up)- and I know that's something that does happen to others, though I'm not sure how common it is (and I believe it may be particularly common for folks on the spectrum, though that's my memory of anecdotal info, so I may be off).  There are often "logical" (or, at least, articulateable) reasons for people's seemingly illogical or irrational behavior.  More often than not, there are, IMO.  Which is fortunate if you don't have the "feel" part, but can intellectualize.

We're close enough to being 4chan that it was fair fodder to bring up (as almost everything usually is); we're also often privvy to the backwash from WP, where half the guys on there actually do think like that (or similar), and don't have insight that their mindsets are fucked.  So, I made no immediate judgement call on just how serious your statement was, but also did not hold back my response.

[midlifeaspie]

[earthboundmisfit]

[earthboundmisfit]

[El]

Shit like this makes me never want to have sex ever again.  Particularly the implicit "rape is normal" joke.  Mind, I have a fair bit of gallows humor, myself, but the annoying part with this particular bit of "humor" is that it's not really acknowledging that that's what it's implying.

[Al Swearegen]

Shit like this makes me never want to have sex ever again.  Particularly the implicit "rape is normal" joke.  Mind, I have a fair bit of gallows humor, myself, but the annoying part with this particular bit of "humor" is that it's not really acknowledging that that's what it's implying.

You don't have to have sex and not if you don't want. If you don't want to have sex again, simply don't

[earthboundmisfit]

I don't see the "rape is normal" part.

[midlifeaspie]

I don't see the "rape is normal" part.

I tried, but I can't either 

[odeon]

I don't see the "rape is normal" part.

I tried, but I can't either 

I didn't either.