make someone laugh, pt 2

[conlang returns]

http://themetapicture.com/this-is-much-more-entertaining-than-it-should-be/

[El]

[El]

Really?  Because I gotta say, I think that can be a really disappointing moment.

[Semicolon]

Read the article on the bottom right, then read the caption on the bottom left. Brits will probably have seen this.

Perhaps we need a thread for mocking Great Britain.

[DirtDawg]

I have one foot in my grave at nearly sixty years old (but most say I do not look anywhere near that old) and one foot really trying my best to get past my hip surgery. I am doing all I can to build up muscle in my lower body again (my upper body has not suffered the atrophy of surgery, etc and still is quite presentable, for my age.)

I had a forty something year old gay try (I am not sure what I did to present him with an opportunity) to attract my favor today.

I guess the funny part is that I often have to keep my own self from doing the same to the twenty or thirty something year old women (showing off as quite available) I see every day. I am married, quite well, thank you, but I am still a man. I am still susceptible to   TEH  "charms"  I perceive as available.

I resist. I do. I always will continue to resist those younger women.

BUT,  that younger guy was quite attractive, just not my type.  (pretty sure he had a dick instead of a pussy.)

[Queen Victoria]

From another old lady (The Mean Queen in Life After Money blog):

My tom cat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night - it turns out he likes to watch!

Man to friend, 'I've really had it with my dog, he'll chase anyone on a bike.' Friend, 'What are you going to do? Have him put down?' Man, 'No, I think I'll just take his bike away'.

A man goes for a check-up. The doctor says, 'I'm going to need a urine sample, a semen sample, a blood sample, and a stool sample.' The man replies, 'I'm in a hurry. Can I just leave my underpants?'

Two bachelors are talking about cooking. 'I got a cook book once,' says one. 'But I could never do anything with it.' 'Were the recipes too hard?' asks the other. 'No,' he replies. But each of the recipes began the same way - take a clean dish.....'

It's late evening and Tom's wife catches him pouring six cans of lager down the toilet. 'What on earth are you doing?' she says. Tom replies, 'Well it seems a waste, but I thought it'd save me getting up in the night.'

[El]

[El]

[Jack]

Tooke me years to figure out what less than three means.

[El]

http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/20963297

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

[El]

http://www.fmylife.com/health/20963305

elle says FML

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

This isn't me, but I lolled at the name coincidence anyway.

[El]

[El]

[TheoK]

What's a hot pocket?

[Semicolon]

What's a hot pocket?

They're a sort of easy-to-cook meal that's popular in America. They're as healthy as they look.