Author Topic: make someone laugh, pt 2  (Read 46882 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1350 on: May 07, 2022, 11:46:03 AM »
I can hardly imagine that it is real, but HELL, YEAH!!
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Genesis

  • The impostor who isn't from Old Country formerly known as Soviet Union
  • News Box Slave
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 9160
  • Karma: 340
  • Gender: Male
  • The Blogger Was Here
    • Night Owl Redux
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1351 on: May 07, 2022, 02:15:54 PM »
 :LOL: I want to hide in the mulberry bush... because apparently, I'm the weasel?

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1352 on: May 09, 2022, 06:09:03 PM »
 :M
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1353 on: May 09, 2022, 06:22:46 PM »
An Irish priest was transferred to the St Johns Catholic Church (Glenelg). Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

Not knowing who else to call, he promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:

''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day ter yer good self. This is Father O'Malley at St. John’s Catholic Church. There's a donkey lying dead right in der middle of me front lawn."

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment and then Father O'Malley replied, "Ah, 'to be sure, that is true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1354 on: May 10, 2022, 12:13:17 AM »
I am not sixty six years old.
I'm Sweet Sixteen, with fifty years of experience.
 :mischief:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1355 on: May 10, 2022, 11:37:05 AM »
Damn autocorrect!
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1356 on: May 10, 2022, 05:32:05 PM »
Hmmm...
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1357 on: May 11, 2022, 05:36:32 AM »
This actually works. I don't know why.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1358 on: May 11, 2022, 05:39:20 AM »
Many signs are posted all over the state, some even sponsored by the Highway Department:  "Don't Mess With Texas."
Learn it.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1359 on: May 11, 2022, 05:42:55 AM »
I think this commentator has it wrong. This is a beautiful home improvement.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1360 on: May 11, 2022, 05:43:42 AM »
Well, yeah.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1361 on: May 11, 2022, 06:47:02 AM »
Kind of like me these days.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1362 on: May 11, 2022, 10:02:03 PM »

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels,
it finds the darkness has always gotten there first, and is waiting for it.”
 
Terry Pratchett.
 :green:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1363 on: May 11, 2022, 10:07:23 PM »
Saw a pic, meant to be funny, with a dog lying in a pothole in the street, captioned, "Look! It's a dogsize pothole!"

My thought was, "Fucking Americans! We will use absolutely any goddamn thing we can think of to measure stuff EXCEPT centimeters. WTF!"
 :lol1:

After more thought, if another pothole was a little less than half the size of the one shown, would we call that one a 7/16 dogsize pothole?
:facepalm:
« Last Edit: May 11, 2022, 10:19:35 PM by DirtDawg »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31585
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1364 on: May 12, 2022, 09:58:22 AM »
 :apondering:

The French eat a lot of fat and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
The Italians drink a lot of wine and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
Conclusion: if you want to stay healthy don't speak English.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.