there is also the eternal conflict between the goals of 'getting laid' vs 'finding a mate'
especially considering men often just want to get laid, but in order to do so, they advertise it as wanting to find a secure mate.
this gets jumbled up, and someone only wanting to chat for a moment, may be rejected as someone wanting to get laid, or someone who just want to get laid may spoil his chances by selling himself as "a secure and steady mate" to a woman who actually only want a night of fun, etc etc.
this is why nobody should be anything but completely honest, all the time, with everything they say, to everyone they say it to
>:I