Can you feel that happening?
Yes, I can feel it. I'm fully concious and aware when it happens, and there are plenty of things to feel. I get an electric tingling or buzzing in my legs, my face becomes flushed and hot, my eyes become dry and sting, I can feel my heart thumping away, feel the pulse in my neck and hear the pulse in my ear. I can feel the weakness and abnormal tension or relaxation in my muscles, the violent spasms in my muscles that make my whole body shake, as well as the smaller twitches. I can feel my thoughts becoming confused and jumbled, feel my balance and coordination deteriorating and feel myself staggering and bouncing off of walls like a drunk when I try to walk. I can feel the nauseating dysphoria, the sudden sensation of being very cold and unable to warm up, the aches caused by tense muscles and the pain of muscles that have injured themselves through uncontrolled contractions.
Does it happen only when you sleep?
No, it only happens when I'm awake. I get into bed when it's too bad for me to continue doing anything else. Once I'm in bed and I've stopped moving, it becomes difficult to start moving again until the attack has run it's course.
What is the endgame of that disorder?
Life expectancy is almost normal. I don't know the exact nature of the disorder (it could be any one of a large group of related disorders), but some of these disorders cause irreversible damage to the muscles that accumulates with time, so people end up in a wheelchair by the time they're 50 or 60. I can only hope to avoid that. There are treatments, but their effectiveness is somewhat limited. My next appointment with the neurologist who's investigating it is in February, but I don't think he'll have come up with anything definitive by then.
