Can anyone relate to this?

[Calavera]

I remember as a preteen/young teenager, I used to do this very stressful mental game where I took a seat (preferably a toilet seat) and just "think" blankly. No imagining interesting worlds, fantasizing about women, thinking about wars, or anything. Just Nothing. Somehow, in a couple of minutes or so upon doing this, my mind seemed to wander into a very mysterious realm where it was only about me and nothing else and where I was (interestingly) simply immortal and could not be imagined to die at all at any time.

It was like a heavenly moment every time I accessed it. And I used to do it a lot back then. Too bad I can't seem to do it anymore. It was a really beautiful experience (akin to going high on drugs or having an orgasm).

[El]

Why no, no I did not do recreational drugs as a teenager. 

[Al Swearegen]

I do remember that as a kid I was completely overwhelmed by school. No support (Autism was not known about ans much less supported), for that matter, neither was dyslexia (Dyslexic dwarf? Half right there Butterflies  ).
I used to amoungst the stress and overwhelming sensory input, fixate on the windows and the bush that surrounded the school and my mind would wander into introspective consideration of how old the area was and how old the trees.
How too, time must have affected the landscape, and how insignificant the mechinations of people and settlers in the area were. Put things in a totally different light.
Stress levels would drop.
The teacher and the students and myself were no more than a fleeting fancy and a collection of random migration combined with previous random choices and co-incidences. Only existing in a small window of time and whatever importance the lesson, the values we held, the lives we lived, it was all relative.
The noise, the scrawled words on the board i could barely follow, the social posturing, the seeming jibberings of teh teacher was all relative and would matter as much in 10 years time as it mattered 10 years before. Basically neglible in both instances. The importance that was placed in the here now was over-rated. I would endure the lesson, theday and whatever bullshit would present me that night.
Things would be hard at school and hard at home this day, like yesterday ,and the day before, and would likely be tomorrow, but it was all relative and not worth attaching too much value to.

Srewy philosphy maybe but it gave a frightened overwhelmed kid peace and respite.

[Calavera]

The teacher and the students and myself were no more than a fleeting fancy and a collection of random migration combined with previous random choices and co-incidences. Only existing in a small window of time and whatever importance the lesson, the values we held, the lives we lived, it was all relative.

Yes, this is a very similar to what I'm talking about (with some differences). In that moment, everything around me was relative and not really a part of anything that exists, but (in my case) I was real ... just different from the norm (it reminds me now of these super glorified bodies that the Apostle Paul promised his fellow Christians that they would have upon resurrection). I just felt so immortal and not even able to imagine that something called "death" could exist (I think this is somehow linked to me fearing death in real life when I was a kid). Nothing existed but me at that moment.

How long could you maintain this meditation moment for each time (on average)? And can you still do it today?

[Calavera]

Why no, no I did not do recreational drugs as a teenager. 

Since you do psychology stuff for a living, do you happen to know the name for this phenomenon?

[Al Swearegen]

The teacher and the students and myself were no more than a fleeting fancy and a collection of random migration combined with previous random choices and co-incidences. Only existing in a small window of time and whatever importance the lesson, the values we held, the lives we lived, it was all relative.

Yes, this is a very similar to what I'm talking about (with some differences). In that moment, everything around me was relative and not really a part of anything that exists, but (in my case) I was real ... just different from the norm (it reminds me now of these super glorified bodies that the Apostle Paul promised his fellow Christians that they would have upon resurrection). I just felt so immortal and not even able to imagine that something called "death" could exist (I think this is somehow linked to me fearing death in real life when I was a kid). Nothing existed but me at that moment.

How long could you maintain this meditation moment for each time (on average)? And can you still do it today?

Yes the setting apart from that around me and i guess with me it was more a marginalising rather than anything else. Was like looking down at thing dispassionately and unemotively and like a human looking at an anthill adn thinking in the big scheme of the universe, what these short lived ants scurry around and do today is really not that importnat and regnising that you are one of those ants down there. (If that makes sense).

30 minutes i guess at a go i would do. not with any discomfort. It effectively siphoned aweay stress and the noise became a dull base sound and words on the blackboard less busy and wavy, the movement around me less frantic in appearance and the stress on expectation and whatever less to bear. As was concerns over going home and when my Dad would arrive and how my mother would be prior to his arrival and what state he would be in when he arrived and all of that reduced and nullified. it became bearable and endurable.

I was in a hurry to grow up and leave school and home an dget these elements out of my life. I did both an dnever had to rely on this again. I do not much think on this. I responded because what you wrote registered a similarity to me. I was a strange Autistic kid.

[Calavera]

I was a strange Autistic kid.

We must've both being natural Buddhists when we were kids.

[Al Swearegen]

I was a strange Autistic kid.

We must've both being natural Buddhists when we were kids.

Indeed.  Whatever gets you through can not be a bad thing

[renaeden]

It was very stressful but it felt good? How long could you spend in that state? Can you remember when the last time you could do this was? Maybe if you recreate the conditions in which you used to do this, you could make it happen again. It does sound like it would feel nice. When I was younger, I learnt some stuff about transcendental meditation and one of the aims of that was to clear the mind and think of nothing. To not focus on any thoughts. Difficult.

[Calavera]

It was very stressful but it felt good? How long could you spend in that state? Can you remember when the last time you could do this was? Maybe if you recreate the conditions in which you used to do this, you could make it happen again. It does sound like it would feel nice. When I was younger, I learnt some stuff about transcendental meditation and one of the aims of that was to clear the mind and think of nothing. To not focus on any thoughts. Difficult.

The process of getting there was stressful, but once you achieve that moment, it becomes like paradise. It lasted for around a minute or so (Sir_Les was lucky his lasted longer).

I don't think I can recreate those conditions anymore if you ask me, because my mind is so occupied with so many things it's very difficult to just think blankly these days. Plus, I no longer fear death. I think that had to do with it somehow.

[renaeden]

Most people fear death even as adults. I don't any more either. Why don't you?

[Calavera]

Most people fear death even as adults. I don't any more either. Why don't you?

Because death is really what we all experienced in the past before we were ever born. It'll be the same again when we die.

[renaeden]

I thought you had changed your mind about it based on an experience you had.

[Calavera]

I thought you had changed your mind about it based on an experience you had.

If you mean Christianity, it had no affect on my fear of death. As a Christian, I had full assurance of heaven.

[renaeden]

You had - do you still believe in heaven? Or that there is anything when we die?

Sorry, off topic I know. But I am curious.