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Author Topic: She's not so bad  (Read 2377 times)

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Offline renaeden

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #75 on: December 18, 2011, 04:57:43 AM »
^Do you act out or act in yourself?
i have a public persona that is witty, kind and i suspect engaging. at home - erm. i was about to say that i act out but pk yells at me all the time for not being expressive so i suspect i act in at home as well. sometimes i just don't realize that i am supposed to be acting out.

do wicked things count? sometimes i do wicked things out there, rarely at home tho because i have an autistic partner - the critical moment is often lost that way.
I don't know if you are supposed to be acting out at certain times. I would say that there are times when it is not appropriate, as I suspect Callaway's daughter is learning.

I don't know what you mean by wicked things, could you give an example?
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Offline WolFish

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #76 on: December 19, 2011, 01:27:55 AM »
^Do you act out or act in yourself?
i have a public persona that is witty, kind and i suspect engaging. at home - erm. i was about to say that i act out but pk yells at me all the time for not being expressive so i suspect i act in at home as well. sometimes i just don't realize that i am supposed to be acting out.

do wicked things count? sometimes i do wicked things out there, rarely at home tho because i have an autistic partner - the critical moment is often lost that way.
I don't know if you are supposed to be acting out at certain times. I would say that there are times when it is not appropriate, as I suspect Callaway's daughter is learning.

I don't know what you mean by wicked things, could you give an example?
things like being horribly nice to someone who has been or is being a jerk. you would not believe how irritated they get. they also get furious if i innocently  >:D completely ignore them.

once a store employee was following me around in a store. i turned around and asked her to be a little more quiet if she was going to follow me. she said in a very loud voice that she was not following me and proceeded to slam clothes around on the racks, but in such a disorganized fashion that it was clear she had been following me.

i get followed in stores regularly (must be the hawaiian shirts) and one of my favorite things to do is lead the person all around the store including turning back and walking towards them. sometimes when i do that they start doing something with the shelves - then i walk around to the next aisle, go down it, and come up behind them and look over their shoulder.

another favorite is to ask them if they need any help.

in staples (office supplies - my favorite!) they generally have different people come up and ask me for help - the record is six times in one store visit. now i just tell the second one that they can help by telling all the others that i don't need any help.

shrug. the things i fantasize about doing are a lot more wicked - like when i am in a wheelchair, for people who cut in front of me or walk in front of me and then just stop moving, having a wheelchair with a razor edged bumper. oops, cut off your leg, ah, sorry....
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Offline renaeden

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #77 on: December 19, 2011, 06:21:56 AM »
in staples (office supplies - my favorite!) they generally have different people come up and ask me for help - the record is six times in one store visit. now i just tell the second one that they can help by telling all the others that i don't need any help.
This one I definitely like the most. :D

Almost always anyone who I am with tells the salesperson that we are just looking, I usually look away as salespeople make me really uncomfortable. I know they have a job to do but I feel very awkward when I am asked if I need help.

You said you have an autistic partner - I thought you are autistic as well?
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Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #78 on: December 19, 2011, 06:31:26 AM »
in staples (office supplies - my favorite!) they generally have different people come up and ask me for help - the record is six times in one store visit. now i just tell the second one that they can help by telling all the others that i don't need any help.
This one I definitely like the most. :D

Almost always anyone who I am with tells the salesperson that we are just looking, I usually look away as salespeople make me really uncomfortable. I know they have a job to do but I feel very awkward when I am asked if I need help.

 I have had similar trouble in Best Buy (electronics store).  People keep greeting me,
 almost as if they're trying to let me know that they are watching and I won't get away
 with shoplifting.  One time it happened, I was just passing through the store to get to
 another part of the mall!  Relax, people, I'm too nervous to steal and too fat to run! :laugh:
"I'm finding a lot of things funny lately, but I don't think they are."
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Offline WolFish

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #79 on: December 19, 2011, 07:25:09 AM »
in staples (office supplies - my favorite!) they generally have different people come up and ask me for help - the record is six times in one store visit. now i just tell the second one that they can help by telling all the others that i don't need any help.
This one I definitely like the most. :D

Almost always anyone who I am with tells the salesperson that we are just looking, I usually look away as salespeople make me really uncomfortable. I know they have a job to do but I feel very awkward when I am asked if I need help.

You said you have an autistic partner - I thought you are autistic as well?
she's actually on the spectrum, as she says and not a full fledged autist.
i am a full fledged, card carrying asper, complete with astounding levels of junk, collections, sensory miswiring and misfirings, and abysmal social skills. i even used to pick up bits of metal and stuff from the streets, but when i found out everyone didn't do that, i spent about 2 years curing myself of it.

have you seen my asperger's comic? i didn't do the art but the jokes are all mine. the one about just looking is one of my favorites.
I Wish I'd Said That
Mark Twain: “Never argue with a [troll], onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

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Offline WolFish

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #80 on: December 19, 2011, 07:35:08 AM »
in staples (office supplies - my favorite!) they generally have different people come up and ask me for help - the record is six times in one store visit. now i just tell the second one that they can help by telling all the others that i don't need any help.
This one I definitely like the most. :D

Almost always anyone who I am with tells the salesperson that we are just looking, I usually look away as salespeople make me really uncomfortable. I know they have a job to do but I feel very awkward when I am asked if I need help.

 I have had similar trouble in Best Buy (electronics store).  People keep greeting me,
 almost as if they're trying to let me know that they are watching and I won't get away
 with shoplifting.  One time it happened, I was just passing through the store to get to
 another part of the mall!  Relax, people, I'm too nervous to steal and too fat to run! :laugh:
I suspect it is because of the lack of eye contact thing. my ex told me that it makes me seem less honest. i guess then that makes the blunt words come out of left field, eh? heh.

one wicked thing you could do (works best in huge stores) is ask for something from the other side of the store. then while they are getting it finish your shopping and cash out. if they come back early, look at the item and say in a very concerned voice, "Oh, I thought you were getting the (insert unreasonable description here) one! Could you find me one like that?

My favorite is "Are you finding what you need?" when I already have the item I want in my hand. My response usually is something like, "No, I keep getting interrupted by salespeople so I can't concentrate."  One woman (Target) backed away with a very strange look on her face.

I wouldn't be able to do these if I didn't get energy from being angry that it happens so often. Energy plus spoons plus practice means that it takes less effort for me to do it now.

In a few stores (Joann's Fabric and Crafts) I make small talk with the employees and maybe show them my projects, and after that they say hi if they pass me in the aisles, but otherwise leave me alone. Unfortunately Joann's is disorganized compared to office supplies stores, so it isn't as soothing to shop there.
Mark Twain: “Never argue with a [troll], onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

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Offline renaeden

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #81 on: December 19, 2011, 07:47:31 AM »
she's actually on the spectrum, as she says and not a full fledged autist.
i am a full fledged, card carrying asper, complete with astounding levels of junk, collections, sensory miswiring and misfirings, and abysmal social skills. i even used to pick up bits of metal and stuff from the streets, but when i found out everyone didn't do that, i spent about 2 years curing myself of it.

have you seen my asperger's comic? i didn't do the art but the jokes are all mine. the one about just looking is one of my favorites.
I Wish I'd Said That
Your comics are good, I think I have read some others...

That picking bit of stuff up from the street - GA does exactly that! She finds some interesting things.

I carry a card for my autism too. What is your card like?
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Offline WolFish

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #82 on: December 19, 2011, 08:13:52 PM »
she's actually on the spectrum, as she says and not a full fledged autist.
i am a full fledged, card carrying asper, complete with astounding levels of junk, collections, sensory miswiring and misfirings, and abysmal social skills. i even used to pick up bits of metal and stuff from the streets, but when i found out everyone didn't do that, i spent about 2 years curing myself of it.

have you seen my asperger's comic? i didn't do the art but the jokes are all mine. the one about just looking is one of my favorites.
I Wish I'd Said That
Your comics are good, I think I have read some others...

That picking bit of stuff up from the street - GA does exactly that! She finds some interesting things.

I carry a card for my autism too. What is your card like?
i used to carry a card that was business card size folded in half but i lost it. now i carry a verbal card - that one is more adjustable to situations and different people.
i'm highly manipulative on a superficial level.

the most often used card is the "chewing foil card." when people understand that it is that painful for me to be touched, they stop, except for one jerk who liked to watch me get frozen so he would always come by in the ER and poke me. Literally. I told my supervisor that I wasn't going to work in the ER anymore and they had six fits. I told them why and they guy suddenly stopped poking me.
They always had a shortage of people willing to work overnights in the ER. i used to get all kinds of mad overtime.
Mark Twain: “Never argue with a [troll], onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

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Offline Callaway

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #83 on: December 19, 2011, 08:19:41 PM »
In a few stores (Joann's Fabric and Crafts) I make small talk with the employees and maybe show them my projects, and after that they say hi if they pass me in the aisles, but otherwise leave me alone. Unfortunately Joann's is disorganized compared to office supplies stores, so it isn't as soothing to shop there.

IMO, Joann's are organized, but it's just that every one is organized differently from all the others.  I like browsing through their fabrics that are on clearance.

Offline renaeden

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #84 on: December 19, 2011, 11:04:11 PM »
i used to carry a card that was business card size folded in half but i lost it. now i carry a verbal card - that one is more adjustable to situations and different people.
i'm highly manipulative on a superficial level.

the most often used card is the "chewing foil card." when people understand that it is that painful for me to be touched, they stop, except for one jerk who liked to watch me get frozen so he would always come by in the ER and poke me. Literally. I told my supervisor that I wasn't going to work in the ER anymore and they had six fits. I told them why and they guy suddenly stopped poking me.
They always had a shortage of people willing to work overnights in the ER. i used to get all kinds of mad overtime.
That guy sounds like an arsehole.

My card is a fold-in-half MedicAlert card. It has Autism - Communication Difficulties written on it. Also emergency contact details, my blood type and a list of meds I am taking. It is for in case something bad happens and I can't speak for whatever reason.

I don't understand what a verbal card is? Sorry if I am being thick here.
IMO, Joann's are organized, but it's just that every one is organized differently from all the others.  I like browsing through their fabrics that are on clearance.
This sounds very much like Spotlight stores here in Australia.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2011, 11:07:37 PM by renaeden »
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #85 on: December 20, 2011, 05:52:46 AM »
in staples (office supplies - my favorite!) they generally have different people come up and ask me for help - the record is six times in one store visit. now i just tell the second one that they can help by telling all the others that i don't need any help.
This one I definitely like the most. :D

Almost always anyone who I am with tells the salesperson that we are just looking, I usually look away as salespeople make me really uncomfortable. I know they have a job to do but I feel very awkward when I am asked if I need help.

You said you have an autistic partner - I thought you are autistic as well?
she's actually on the spectrum, as she says and not a full fledged autist.
i am a full fledged, card carrying asper, complete with astounding levels of junk, collections, sensory miswiring and misfirings, and abysmal social skills. i even used to pick up bits of metal and stuff from the streets, but when i found out everyone didn't do that, i spent about 2 years curing myself of it.

have you seen my asperger's comic? i didn't do the art but the jokes are all mine. the one about just looking is one of my favorites.
I Wish I'd Said That

Aww, I did that, picking up metal stuff from the streets. Pity I cured myself from it mostly too. Sometimes I still can't resist.
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Offline WolFish

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #86 on: December 20, 2011, 11:44:26 AM »
In a few stores (Joann's Fabric and Crafts) I make small talk with the employees and maybe show them my projects, and after that they say hi if they pass me in the aisles, but otherwise leave me alone. Unfortunately Joann's is disorganized compared to office supplies stores, so it isn't as soothing to shop there.

IMO, Joann's are organized, but it's just that every one is organized differently from all the others.  I like browsing through their fabrics that are on clearance.
when i say disorganized by comparison with office supply stores, i refer only to the crafts sections which in my store are not kept well.
bolts of fabric just don't do it for me the way neatly organized rows and columns of pens and pencils do. in our store there seems no logic to it. when i went there to get materials for pk's weighted blanket, i looked for what was advertised ($2.99 a yard) and couldn't find a bloody thing. everything on sale was pink or pink and white. ended up paying $8 a yard to get something she'd like.
the scrapbooking paper is well organized by size and color but i only go there if i need a new backdrop for photographing my fish. still not the same as pens and pencils.
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Offline WolFish

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #87 on: December 20, 2011, 11:51:04 AM »
i used to carry a card that was business card size folded in half but i lost it. now i carry a verbal card - that one is more adjustable to situations and different people.
i'm highly manipulative on a superficial level.

the most often used card is the "chewing foil card." when people understand that it is that painful for me to be touched, they stop, except for one jerk who liked to watch me get frozen so he would always come by in the ER and poke me. Literally. I told my supervisor that I wasn't going to work in the ER anymore and they had six fits. I told them why and they guy suddenly stopped poking me.
They always had a shortage of people willing to work overnights in the ER. i used to get all kinds of mad overtime.
That guy sounds like an arsehole.

My card is a fold-in-half MedicAlert card. It has Autism - Communication Difficulties written on it. Also emergency contact details, my blood type and a list of meds I am taking. It is for in case something bad happens and I can't speak for whatever reason.

I don't understand what a verbal card is? Sorry if I am being thick here.
IMO, Joann's are organized, but it's just that every one is organized differently from all the others.  I like browsing through their fabrics that are on clearance.
This sounds very much like Spotlight stores here in Australia.

a verbal card means that i talk to people if they are doing something that could result in a meltdown or overstimulation. most people cannot stand the sensation of chewing foil so I use that one quite a bit. I really should remake the card. i have no excuse because its something i am good at. i am working on a usb to carry my medical information because i have a lot and no way to tell folks if i freeze *and* have something medical.
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Offline renaeden

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #88 on: December 21, 2011, 03:14:35 AM »
You are good at making cards?

I chose MedicAlert because they also make a wristband that I wear and it has a reference number on it that emergency personnel can use to access my medical information should they need to.

A USB stick is a really good idea too. :)
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Offline WolFish

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Re: She's not so bad
« Reply #89 on: December 21, 2011, 10:04:11 AM »
You are good at making cards?

I chose MedicAlert because they also make a wristband that I wear and it has a reference number on it that emergency personnel can use to access my medical information should they need to.

A USB stick is a really good idea too. :)
i make my own business cards and sometimes cards for special occasions. I made the funeral cards for my sister because her husband did not save any for the immediate family - he did not have enough made and then he gave the ones that were made all to his own friends and coworkers. I've also made brochures flyers and restaurant menus.

they sell the USB things in the local pharmacy. it comes in a card you can write on and put in your wallet.

i always worry that i will be in some incident where the card is destroyed. i guess if that were the case, it would be unlikely that i would need it. i had a metal dogtag made but i traveled so much this year that the chain broke from taking it off for airport security. never got it replaced.
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