Bullshit.
How about something bad?
I was taking the dog tor a walk. He was running all around my feet - So fucking happy to go out!!
He tangled me and I went down, smashing my glasses into the pavement (basically ruining them with a massive scratch across both lenses and flattening them out. My forehead hit the pavement first)
I was stunned, disoriented and bleeding from four head wounds. Had to take a minute to understand how badly hurt I was.
In the mean time the dog (who was terribly abused before we got him and scared to death of me at first. I have JUST gained a bit of his trust, then this happens)
He did come back to me, though, to offer help.
I fucking love dogs!! Even when they are scared as fuck, they try to help!!
Goodness. Are you OK?
Mostly OK, yes.
I took a pic this morning. As you can see, I hit my forehead with quite a large force. The "stereo black eyes" is just a bonus. I did not break anything, but MAN!!!! my sinuses are terribly sore.
Everyone is telling me to make up some incredible story about how this happened, because the truth is just lame. Honestly, I fell down some stairs and hit my head on a concrete sidewalk (I don't know - try it. It is rather dramatic).
Only story I can think of that sounds funny is that "I am having second thoughts about joining the Fight Club."
Maybe if it did not hurt so much I could be a little more funny.
Today I got my completely destroyed eyeglasses replaced. Unfortunately I do not use cheap glasses. I have to have invisible line bifocals and anti-glare treatments and I like "space-age" super light frames. Mine cost over three hundred dollars to get them in less than one day. (This was an emergency, understand!)
Anyway, help me come up with a great story to "explain" how I look this way.
I forgot to mention. Sorry about how ancient I look. Please understand that my sixtieth birthday occurs in a few months. I AM OLD!