Do you need to love yourself before it's possible to love another person ?

[eris]

I've heard that a lot before, and I think it is BS. I don't even understand where that comes from. Is it because you cannot understand love ? I don't know. I DO know that I have completely lost myself in someone else and loved them madly, and I dont know if i really love myself. I know I have loved others more than anything else in the whole world, including life itself.

I think it is just a dumb cliche. Anyone can fall in love, and people with little self esteem probably fall in love more often.

If you think this is true, though, explain to me why ... cause i really want to know.

["couldbecousin"]

 I can't comment authoritatively or even attempt to vote on this, but I do suspect that
 "You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else" might be shorthand for
 "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else in a way that's healthy for you
 and for them."  Maybe lack of self-esteem leave you too needy for the other person's good
 and too easily devastated if things go wrong. 

[ZEGH8578]

it may differ between genders

but for a guy, i'd say definitely yes. girls are attracted to - amongst other - their confidence. a self hater would, by definition, have very little confidence.

//

hm, now i realize i may have misunderstood the topic, but its 10 AM, and i havent slept. so. forgive my sin
im too tired to try to re-understand it

[eris]

I can't comment authoritatively or even attempt to vote on this, but I do suspect that
 "You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else" might be shorthand for
 "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else in a way that's healthy for you
 and for them."  Maybe lack of self-esteem leave you too needy for the other person's good
 and too easily devastated if things go wrong. 

yes, it probably isnt healthy love. But I dont think that means it isnt "real" love, or that a person is incapable of love. I have had people straight out tell me it is IMPOSSIBLE to fall in love if you do not love yourself. I know I've been in love.

it may differ between genders

but for a guy, i'd say definitely yes. girls are attracted to - amongst other - their confidence. a self hater would, by definition, have very little confidence.

//

hm, now i realize i may have misunderstood the topic, but its 10 AM, and i havent slept. so. forgive my sin
im too tired to try to re-understand it

Go to bed, that made no sense

[eris]

22 views and 2 votes, and one was silly vote from sleepy Zegh.

I guess people just dont know ?

[Charlotte Quin]

I think the saying might be more aimed at people who primarily seek a relationship in the hopes it will make them feel better about themselves (see: every emo single guy on WP ).

It's not saying that you CAN'T or are not CAPABLE of loving someone else before loving yourself, I think the phrase is just saying that you SHOULDN'T.

[bodie]

Yes if it is to be 'good love'.

If you truly love yourself you will fall for someone that is good
for you and good to you.  True love between two people is equal?

If you don't hold yourself in such high esteem you will put up with any old
bollocks.  All under the pretence that you are in love.

Love is....different to different people.  Sure if you wanna fall for someone
who treats you shit and wanna call it love..then ok...that is what it is to you.

My own definition is that it is a mutual thing only or not at all.  Have written
off many a past lover because it was one sided.

What do i know?  I will never marry.  Now, the father to my boy -  well yes he
knows about marriage,  and is,  JUST TO SOMEONE ELSE! 

Me,  mistress material.  My views on love are NOT based on reality.
Oh Gawd why is life so complicated?

[V]

Im not sure about the need to love yourself in order to love another person, but I can however tell you that if you are looking for some sort of reciprocation you need to at least be comfortable with your own skin.

Otherwise you are going to be questioning this person´s motives for liking you(since you dont see anything likeable yourself) and all and its a recipe for disaster.

[bodie]

Yes young man  -  love is a recipe for disaster!(i know that is taken out of context a tad)

I do love Cadbury's creme eggs very much, though.

[Osensitive1]

But I dont think that means it isnt "real" love,

It's easy for one person to say another person's understanding of love isn't real love. I guess it boils down to what love means to an individual. To answer the question, I think yes, but this is based on my own understanding of love.

['Butterflies']

I think the posts above are right. You can love if you dont love yourself, but you might not get such high quality love back.

[Adam]

Yes you can

What does it mean to "love yourself"?

[renaeden]

I think I am a crap person a lot of the time and I've loved other people no problem. So I voted no.

[Binty]

I think it helps when you do love yourself beforehand.  Otherwise the other person will always feel that they can't love you enough, to make you love yourself.  If that makes sense.

[midlifeaspie]

Yup