What have you done today? (Pt 2)

[Celticgoddess]

Woke up with a killer headache which took nearly 9 hours to relieve. Beyond the usual domestic/teaching duties I went to the grocery store. Hung out with monkeyboy. Talked to my lawyer. Played with monkeygirl.

[Trigger 11]

I need a lawyer!

[Celticgoddess]

I need a lawyer!

Why? What's up?

[Trigger 11]

Bitch wife!

[Celticgoddess]

Bitch wife!

Ah. Gotcha. You guys still living together? Ex drama when kids are involved is never fun. 

[Trigger 11]

What are yo talking about? It's the bees knees, especially when they are psychotically irrational and utterly delusional. When I am alone with the minions they say they want me to buy a second house so they can live with me. She is clueless and/or delusional regarding how negatively she impacts them.

[Celticgoddess]

What are yo talking about? It's the bees knees, especially when they are psychotically irrational and utterly delusional. When I am alone with the minions they say they want me to buy a second house so they can live with me. She is clueless and/or delusional regarding how negatively she impacts them.

Totally could have written that about what's going on here as well.

[eris]

I know this is totally random, but now that you 2 are engaged in covo I have a q for you both, as I am also still married.

Ever find someone doesn't want to go out with you because you are still technically married ? It is really holding me back I think...

[Trigger 11]

Yes, I've tried at times to think o your situation and how you were handling it. To put the minions in the middle is just wrong and I am forced to slowly gather evidence to her outbursts, which makes me feel guilty.

[Celticgoddess]

Yes, I've tried at times to think o your situation and how you were handling it. To put the minions in the middle is just wrong and I am forced to slowly gather evidence to her outbursts, which makes me feel guilty.

I know. Every crazy making action/reaction/delusional argument and I'm firing off yet another letter to my lawyer to document it. Yet I have to keep going back to the realization that it's not *my* fault that he's unstable and it's my job as a parent to protect my kids so I do what I have to do. Easier said than done though.

[Celticgoddess]

I know this is totally random, but now that you 2 are engaged in covo I have a q for you both, as I am also still married.

Ever find someone doesn't want to go out with you because you are still technically married ? It is really holding me back I think...

Yup. I think people can be skeptical though thinking....is she REALLY separated or is this an affair. And then people think that if you haven't gotten divorced yet, you'll go back to your ex and they're nervous about letting themselves get involved, especially emotionally.

[eris]

yes same thing happens to me, they think i might just be wanting an affair. They say, "If you arent with your husband anymore why aren't you divorced ? "

I say, "good question, ask him ! "

[Celticgoddess]

yes same thing happens to me, they think i might just be wanting an affair. They say, "If you arent with your husband anymore why aren't you divorced ? "

I say, "good question, ask him ! "

yeah one thing that really pisses me off is people who make assumptions about the court system and that it's so easy to navigate. You just walk in and get your divorce. God, wish it were that easy! Where I live, you can only apply for a divorce at certain times and if you miss that window, you need to wait for the next. You need to have attempted mediation first and before you even start court both of you have to go to a class which basically tells you the benefits of mediation and you should be doing that instead of being at court because the only ones who win at court are the lawyers. True. But in order to mediate both sides have to be willing to make concessions. In my case, I'm willing, but the ex only wants it HIS way. By the time we've been through all that, it's over 2 years later and now I'm *almost* at the point of being able to apply for a court hearing.

[eris]

If I could get my husband to agree to a divorce, and did not fight about anything, it would still take 6 -7 months from the time of the first paperwork till the dissolution of marriage.

That's if he ever agrees. Luckily we do not have a house or kids, and I dont think he can take my car. But he won't.  I had to wait one year to petition without him agreeing, and that is up in November and you better be damn sure that I am going to petition for one on Nov 1st, but then that is just the beginning...

If he doesnt want a divorce, there is little I can do but wait. He finally has a girlfriend now, took him goddamn long enough. Maybe she will convince him to let this shit go.

[Celticgoddess]

Exactly. But people don't really get it unless they've been through the process.