I awoke with a feeling of trepidation. I made myself some wholemeal toast and was irritated by the way the large strands of orange in my marmalade fought to stay in the jar, squirming off my knife like a small octopus. The resulting blobs of breakfast confection formed a sad face emoji on my toast and I imagined I heard it's scream of pain as I bit into it's face.
I fucking hate Mondays.