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Author Topic: Shit! what do i do?  (Read 1001 times)

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Offline bodie

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Shit! what do i do?
« on: September 18, 2011, 06:38:25 PM »
It is half one in the morning.  My dogs are barking their
fucking tit's off.  Probably just a hedgehog?  It has been known
in the past.

What if it is 'something'?   The most lethal weapon i can find
is a can opener?  Truth is i am scared. :-\   It is dark up
there,  the light isn't working, and i can't find my torch!

I am typing this as they have stopped for a min.  Hoping
they will be quiet now.

If i don't go up there and sort it out the neighbours will
be on my case  -  if i do, then i will have to leave my
son asleep and alone in the house.

Fuck!
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2011, 06:40:44 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on September 18, 2011, 06:38:25 PM
It is half one in the morning.  My dogs are barking their
fucking tit's off.  Probably just a hedgehog?  It has been known
in the past.

What if it is 'something'?   The most lethal weapon i can find
is a can opener?  Truth is i am scared. :-\   It is dark up
there,  the light isn't working, and i can't find my torch!

I am typing this as they have stopped for a min.  Hoping
they will be quiet now.

If i don't go up there and sort it out the neighbours will
be on my case  -  if i do, then i will have to leave my
son asleep and alone in the house.

Fuck!

Turn on your lights, and radio, open a window slightly to let the sound out.  That might frighten them/it away. 

P.S.  If anyone asks what you want for Christmas, say a torch. 
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2011, 06:41:22 PM »
Turn on the verandah light.
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2011, 06:43:07 PM »
Or you could stand by the door, with it slightly open and say, "Frank, Frank, don't go out there! Frank!!!"
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Offline bodie

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2011, 06:47:44 PM »
Oh i would love a verandah light.  I would love a verandah!  but
this is scumsville :zoinks:

I have just opened the door and shouted 'quiet'.  It's no good.
My problem is that my garden is long and narrow,  so the kennels are nearly 200ft away - whatever lights i put on in the house
it is still dark up there.

Funny thing is i got several torches -  they are hiding :thumbdn:
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Offline bodie

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2011, 06:51:03 PM »
One dog is quiet now.  The other is making a seal noise - like
a stupid cry when excited.  My guess is it is a hedgehog then.

The other dog has got bored of watching her mate play with it.

I hope i am correct
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midlifeaspie

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2011, 06:52:22 PM »
Tell your dog to STFU
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Offline bodie

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2011, 06:55:50 PM »
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2011, 07:03:29 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on September 18, 2011, 06:55:50 PM
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?

It's illegal to do that, BTW. Your animal welfare agency could prosecute.

The RSPCA here have done so several times.
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midlifeaspie

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2011, 07:05:03 PM »
Quote from: Jimmy Hopkins on September 18, 2011, 07:03:29 PM
Quote from: bodaccea on September 18, 2011, 06:55:50 PM
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?

It's illegal to do that, BTW. Your animal welfare agency could prosecute.

The RSPCA here have done so several times.

Those pesky global laws  :thumbdn:
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P7PSP

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2011, 07:06:46 PM »
That sucks bodie. Get a baseball bat, they have better heft than cricket bats.
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midlifeaspie

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2011, 07:07:33 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on September 18, 2011, 06:55:50 PM
Was it elton john that had voice boxes removed
from his dogs?  Just wondering how much the vet
fee's would be?

I've done it, but with a blowtorch so the cost is minimal.
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Offline bodie

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2011, 07:20:03 PM »
I wasn't serious about it.   :zoinks:

well, maybe i would be if i had a yappy
little fucker like the one next door :2thumbsup:

i just recall some pop star having it done - or alledgedly!

They are good as gold 99% of the time.

@PPK - I have no bat,  but i got a fly zapper like
lutra :thumbup:
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P7PSP

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2011, 07:21:16 PM »
Quote from: bodaccea on September 18, 2011, 07:20:03 PM
I wasn't serious about it.   :zoinks:

well, maybe i would be if i had a yappy
little fucker like the one next door :2thumbsup:

i just recall some pop star having it done - or alledgedly!

They are good as gold 99% of the time.

@PPK - I have no bat,  but i got a fly zapper like
lutra :thumbup:
In that case I'll keep my fly zipped if I ever meet you.  :zoinks:
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Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: Shit! what do i do?
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2011, 09:53:58 PM »
Quote from: Hubert Hemingway on September 18, 2011, 06:52:22 PM
Tell your dog to STFU

 This post made me   :rofl:
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