Well, you are being stalked already, because i am being friendly to you and responded to you post. See, that shows obsession!
How are your Scottish dancing skills?
Good, but not as good as my break dancing skillz!
Would you look good in a kilt?
Have you not seen my fine, firm round ass? Of course!
Would the sporran hang parallel or fly perpendicular to your kilt?
Depends on who is around. There certainly wouldn't be anything prohibiting free movement and everything would be aired out.