WTF, Trigger???

[Calavera]

Oh and don't get me wrong PMS, but, I'm just asking for more then a few posts before I give you the benefit of the doubt.   I want to give you all the leeway, but, for some reason I feel that being a guy makes me a target for your rage and issues.  Don't like it, tooo bad.  I've been screwed over by women, do I take it all out on women, Noooooooooooooooo.  It's my problem, not yours or theirs, and my girlfriend calls me out on it when I slip.

True to that. There are a lot of men/women here (for example) worthy of respect, regardless of all the shitty things many messed up men/women (IRL/online) may have done.

[Psychophant]

Oh and don't get me wrong PMS, but, I'm just asking for more then a few posts before I give you the benefit of the doubt.   I want to give you all the leeway, but, for some reason I feel that being a guy makes me a target for your rage and issues.  Don't like it, tooo bad.  I've been screwed over by women, do I take it all out on women, Noooooooooooooooo.  It's my problem, not yours or theirs, and my girlfriend calls me out on it when I slip.

True to that. There are a lot of men/women here (for example) worthy of respect, regardless of all the shitty things many messed up men/women (IRL/online) may have done.

I give respect where it's due, I don't like MLA and he doesn't like me, but, I'll give him credit for  some degree of honesty.   I just don't know why or where he's coming from.     Same with her, give me something to work with and think with.  Thats all I ask, other wise FUCK OFF.  I hate mind games.

[Squidusa]

 

Seriously , this entire thread = circles, WHY do I keep reading it?

Someone blindfold me. 

[Psychophant]

Seriously , this entire thread = circles, WHY do I keep reading it?

Someone blindfold me. 

I think the same and kick myself for even responding to it. fwiw, I'm done, read only and thats my guilty pleasure.   

["couldbecousin"]

Seriously , this entire thread = circles, WHY do I keep reading it?

Someone blindfold me. 

I think the same and kick myself for even responding to it. fwiw, I'm done, read only and thats my guilty pleasure.   

 That's what they all say. 

[Pyraxis]

Nothing personal, but, if I went into counseling and met somebody like you..................I'd request another counselor, because I do not think you would be a good one for a male client.    MLA confronted me on my arrogance on being an emt and I deserved it.   If I'm going to be with people at their worst moments and most vulnerable...I need to park my ego at the door.  Can you!!!??   

Okay. I may regret this, but....

She's not at work. She has a right to act fucked up and let off steam here if she wants. There are a hell of a lot of messed up counsellors out there, in fact a lot of people go into the business because they are or were messed up. It's called professional boundaries and I don't think we can judge, from what we see of Elle here, what she's like when dealing with a client.

You can't wait until you have no personal issues (as if anybody has no personal issues anyway) before even starting to practice therapy. Actually I would say that people who are still close to dysfunction make better therapists in some cases, because they can be more empathetic and they're not just proclaiming solutions from on high. Sure there are some clients who aren't a good fit with some therapists, but I don't see Elle having a problem with every man, just a few of them, ones she's been personally involved with. As a therapist you would never get into a situation of developing a personal friendship with a client on a website like this, that would open the relationship to bad boundaries.

[Psychophant]

Nothing personal, but, if I went into counseling and met somebody like you..................I'd request another counselor, because I do not think you would be a good one for a male client.    MLA confronted me on my arrogance on being an emt and I deserved it.   If I'm going to be with people at their worst moments and most vulnerable...I need to park my ego at the door.  Can you!!!??   

Okay. I may regret this, but....

She's not at work. She has a right to act fucked up and let off steam here if she wants. There are a hell of a lot of messed up counsellors out there, in fact a lot of people go into the business because they are or were messed up. It's called professional boundaries and I don't think we can judge, from what we see of Elle here, what she's like when dealing with a client.

You can't wait until you have no personal issues (as if anybody has no personal issues anyway) before even starting to practice therapy. Actually I would say that people who are still close to dysfunction make better therapists in some cases, because they can be more empathetic and they're not just proclaiming solutions from on high. Sure there are some clients who aren't a good fit with some therapists, but I don't see Elle having a problem with every man, just a few of them, ones she's been personally involved with. As a therapist you would never get into a situation of developing a personal friendship with a client on a website like this, that would open the relationship to bad boundaries.

You make good points.  And I am thinking about this, since it seems a lot of my team members have backgrounds in some sort of family dysfunction.   My thing is past relationship dysfunctions. 

I just need more to go on to see things differently, especially here.  I tend to take people at face value irl and on the internet. 

[Squidusa]

Okay. I may regret this, but....

Famous last words  :lol:

She's not at work. She has a right to act fucked up and let off steam here if she wants. There are a hell of a lot of messed up counsellors out there, in fact a lot of people go into the business because they are or were messed up. It's called professional boundaries and I don't think we can judge, from what we see of Elle here, what she's like when dealing with a client.

Agreed , I think a few people have missed the fact that a lot of people put on a "professional front" or whatever the term is , whilst working when doing such things as counselling.

Psychophant , a question for you : Do you behave differently when on duty?, if so is this probably what Elle does too? and therefore unfair to judge Elle by her behaviour here as an indicator as her effectiveness as a counsellor?

Your opinion is yours of course , but this can come back on you so think carefully. 

You can't wait until you have no personal issues (as if anybody has no personal issues anyway) before even starting to practice therapy. Actually I would say that people who are still close to dysfunction make better therapists in some cases, because they can be more empathetic and they're not just proclaiming solutions from on high.

  , it's one thing having personal knowledge but empathy is a very important bonus I think.

Sure there are some clients who aren't a good fit with some therapists, but I don't see Elle having a problem with every man, just a few of them, ones she's been personally involved with. As a therapist you would never get into a situation of developing a personal friendship with a client on a website like this, that would open the relationship to bad boundaries.

Good point , I can understand Elle potentially having a mistrust of men (not implying she does) due to past experiences but I don't think that would effect her professional behaviour she seems far more mature than that.


That was probably just echoing what Pyraxis said but fuck it. 

[Queen Victoria]

Seriously , this entire thread = circles, WHY do I keep reading it?

Someone blindfold me. 

Because we're gluttons for punishment.

Do you really think we'd blindfold you so you could use your 8 tentacles to grope your way through the issues?

[Pyraxis]

You make good points.  And I am thinking about this, since it seems a lot of my team members have backgrounds in some sort of family dysfunction.   My thing is past relationship dysfunctions. 

What do you mean by your thing? I know you're an EMT, do you work in psych too?

[Squidusa]

Seriously , this entire thread = circles, WHY do I keep reading it?

Someone blindfold me. 

Because we're gluttons for punishment.

Do you really think we'd blindfold you so you could use your 8 tentacles to grope your way through the issues?

Eris is our resident expert on punishment gluttony.

and ok , the blindfold is probably a bad idea , especially given how clumsy I am

[Queen Victoria]

Seriously , this entire thread = circles, WHY do I keep reading it?

Someone blindfold me. 

Because we're gluttons for punishment.

Do you really think we'd blindfold you so you could use your 8 tentacles to grope your way through the issues?

Eris is our resident expert on punishment gluttony.

and ok , the blindfold is probably a bad idea , especially given how clumsy I am

Yeah, but she's sidelined for 3 weeks.  Someone has to step on the sub  in to take up the slack.

['andersom']

*nod*  I was stupid and probably should not have met Trigger to begin with, let alone texted him and thereby let him have my number.  Mean well or not, he has periods of time where he gets weird about boundaries, and I should have anticipated that that was potentially a cyclic thing with him, and not just a one-shot deal once upon a time.

Not stupid.

Don't blame yourself or Trigger that meeting him wasn't what you hoped it would be.

Sometimes something that looks promising as a kind of friendship just doesn't work out. No one to blame.

And, fucked up people sometimes are the best personal friends. I don't know of an other way to find out about friends than to find out. There is no getting to know each other as friends without being vulnerable.

[eris]

And, fucked up people sometimes are the best personal friends. I don't know of an other way to find out about friends than to find out. There is no getting to know each other as friends without being vulnerable.

Many of my friend have issues. Crazy people seem to flock to me. Maybe it is because I am non judgmental or maybe birds of a feather, but whatev. I dont expect the people I spend time with to be perfect, or even totally mentally healthy.

[El]

I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt.  But, after a lot of reading and thinking, it seems like you have the greater issues then trigger.    Whatever you have been through, you need to get through it and be the counselor you want to be.  Nothing personal, but, if I went into counseling and met somebody like you..................I'd request another counselor, because I do not think you would be a good one for a male client.    MLA confronted me on my arrogance on being an emt and I deserved it.   If I'm going to be with people at their worst moments and most vulnerable...I need to park my ego at the door.  Can you!!!??    What you need and expect in your personal life is now NOMFB.   I will now back off and leave your threads and responses alone.   God knows, I don't need to be accused of stalking by anyone.

Oh and don't get me wrong PMS, but, I'm just asking for more then a few posts before I give you the benefit of the doubt.   I want to give you all the leeway, but, for some reason I feel that being a guy makes me a target for your rage and issues.  Don't like it, tooo bad.  I've been screwed over by women, do I take it all out on women, Noooooooooooooooo.  It's my problem, not yours or theirs, and my girlfriend calls me out on it when I slip.

^in the above two posts, you sound like you're breaking up with me.  Were we dating and I didn't notice?  O_o

Nothing personal, but, if I went into counseling and met somebody like you..................I'd request another counselor, because I do not think you would be a good one for a male client.    MLA confronted me on my arrogance on being an emt and I deserved it.   If I'm going to be with people at their worst moments and most vulnerable...I need to park my ego at the door.  Can you!!!??   

Okay. I may regret this, but....

She's not at work. She has a right to act fucked up and let off steam here if she wants. There are a hell of a lot of messed up counsellors out there, in fact a lot of people go into the business because they are or were messed up. It's called professional boundaries and I don't think we can judge, from what we see of Elle here, what she's like when dealing with a client.

You can't wait until you have no personal issues (as if anybody has no personal issues anyway) before even starting to practice therapy. Actually I would say that people who are still close to dysfunction make better therapists in some cases, because they can be more empathetic and they're not just proclaiming solutions from on high. Sure there are some clients who aren't a good fit with some therapists, but I don't see Elle having a problem with every man, just a few of them, ones she's been personally involved with. As a therapist you would never get into a situation of developing a personal friendship with a client on a website like this, that would open the relationship to bad boundaries.

TY, Pyraxis.

What I'll say is I'm not sure if I can "know" for sure if I'm a "good therapist," but I act very, very differently with that hat on than I do here.  Pyraxis is correct that I keep the therapeutic relationship within very specific professional boundaries.  I also make it a point to check in with my supervisor when I feel like my own "stuff" might be running interference with my ability to be effective- which happens to every therapist at some point or other.