What dreaded, or just disliked, task awaits you today?

[Al Swearegen]

I was cleaning and tidying downstairs today. I still have the microwave to thoroughly clean, mop and vacuum to do and packing away a couch full of assorted junk

['andersom']

The dishes. I did them and went to bed last night only to wake up with a sink full that Kayleigh made while I was asleep. She's gone to a friend's house for a three-day weekend so it is up to me to do the dishes now. I messaged her telling her that I am not happy and she sucks.

Plastic container, all the dishes in there, and then on her bed.

(Worked when we did that for a few weeks with a housemate. She was doing that every night, and the other three of us decided that we'd place it on her bed, when we found it in the sink in the mornings. After a while she understood the message.)

[renaeden]

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

['andersom']

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

If she does that, go tougher, throw away all stuff on the bed that is not yours, and store all kitchen stuff that is yours in your room in a cabinet with a lock. Only do your own dishes.

My ex kept toilet-paper on his room, behind a lock, because he was the only one buying toilet paper in the house he lived. After half a year he got fed up with it and locked away the paper for the others. Private property. Did not take that long before the others started buying toilet paper too.

["couldbecousin"]

  Not a damn thing today.  This is the fourth consecutive weekend off that I've ended up going in
  to help out at work.  I don't mind, but I'm definitely not doing anything else today except fun things. 

[Jack]

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

Putting dishes on someone's bed is really passive aggressive anyway. So is her leaving them in the sink for you in the first place. Do you two talk about this stuff?

["couldbecousin"]

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

Putting dishes on someone's bed is really passive aggressive anyway. So is her leaving them in the sink for you in the first place. Do you two talk about this stuff?

  Passive aggression is such fun, in a twisted way, for those of us who don't have the guts or
  the skills to confront directly.  It's a bad habit in my own life.  I'm 50 now, I need to do better. 

[odeon]

Why is that? Passive aggressive? Good for you.

[Jack]

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

Putting dishes on someone's bed is really passive aggressive anyway. So is her leaving them in the sink for you in the first place. Do you two talk about this stuff?

  Passive aggression is such fun, in a twisted way, for those of us who don't have the guts or
  the skills to confront directly.  It's a bad habit in my own life.  I'm 50 now, I need to do better. 

It's one thing with strangers, but it only breeds resentment for people who live together.

["couldbecousin"]

Why is that? Passive aggressive? Good for you.

  In long-term relationships (such as the one I have with my boss), I think I need to start being direct.
   She can tell I'm pissed, so the passive aggression doesn't really save the work atmosphere. 

['andersom']

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

Putting dishes on someone's bed is really passive aggressive anyway. So is her leaving them in the sink for you in the first place. Do you two talk about this stuff?

When we did it with our flatmate we had told her several times that what she did was onacceptable. We had explained why it was onacceptable too. When she kept going on leaving us never a clean surface, while we did the cleaning, this was how we got our clean workspace without doing her dishes. If there was passive agression, it was from the side of that one flatmate.

[Jack]

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

Putting dishes on someone's bed is really passive aggressive anyway. So is her leaving them in the sink for you in the first place. Do you two talk about this stuff?

When we did it with our flatmate we had told her several times that what she did was onacceptable. We had explained why it was onacceptable too. When she kept going on leaving us never a clean surface, while we did the cleaning, this was how we got our clean workspace without doing her dishes. If there was passive agression, it was from the side of that one flatmate.

Did it work other than creating clean workspaces, or did it only leave the clean people lacking clean dishes to use in the community space? Have never had roommates, so may not get it. People who live together have to adhere to clearly defined duties to avoid conflicts over stupid crap. Some people are simply users, and if talking about it doesn't help, then get out talks are more in order, otherwise resolve to being resentful and used, or resentful and passive aggressive.

[Pyraxis]

More goddamn paperwork.

[renaeden]

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

Putting dishes on someone's bed is really passive aggressive anyway. So is her leaving them in the sink for you in the first place. Do you two talk about this stuff?

  Passive aggression is such fun, in a twisted way, for those of us who don't have the guts or
  the skills to confront directly.  It's a bad habit in my own life.  I'm 50 now, I need to do better. 

It's one thing with strangers, but it only breeds resentment for people who live together.

Yep. That is what I don't want. Kayleigh has been at a friend's house all weekend. I don't know when she is coming back home. When she is home I barely see her as I am out all day while she sleeps and then she's awake all night whilst I sleep.

[WolFish]

She would probably just put them on my bed. She is definitely not passive enough to wash the dishes I put on her bed.

Good idea though.

If she does that, go tougher, throw away all stuff on the bed that is not yours, and store all kitchen stuff that is yours in your room in a cabinet with a lock. Only do your own dishes.

My ex kept toilet-paper on his room, behind a lock, because he was the only one buying toilet paper in the house he lived. After half a year he got fed up with it and locked away the paper for the others. Private property. Did not take that long before the others started buying toilet paper too.

agreed, but i would not throw them away. agree with jack on that. i would put them in a box on the floor near the sink. also agree that it might make things worse. you will still have to live with her whatever you do.
but seriously. if you can, only do your own dishes. keep all your stuff locked up like hyke said. there will be a huge benefit in time available to do other things. i did this in college with a nightmare housemate who did things like take my books and sell them back to the bookstore. i shut off the land line since she never paid her share of the bill. she left things a mess and i put everything into her room in the condition she left it in the house. it didn't take long for her to move out.