What dreaded, or just disliked, task awaits you today?

[WolFish]

almost forgot why i came here.

i have to return a broken thing to the store. i didn't realize it was broken when i bought it. lack of social skills would be a bit of an obstacle in the states but it's an unknown quantity here. i have not lived in a city in a very long time, and the culture here is different too. i had a lot of trouble the last time i had to deal with customer service - i bought a bike and they took my money and never had the bike. they tried to give me a woman's bike and refused to refund my money. i had to contact the corporate office to get them to deliver.

so i am dreading this interaction. if it were for someone else i would be stellar; i always got what i wanted for my clients when i worked on the crisis team. dunno why i can't do it for myself.

["couldbecousin"]

almost forgot why i came here.

i have to return a broken thing to the store. i didn't realize it was broken when i bought it. lack of social skills would be a bit of an obstacle in the states but it's an unknown quantity here. i have not lived in a city in a very long time, and the culture here is different too. i had a lot of trouble the last time i had to deal with customer service - i bought a bike and they took my money and never had the bike. they tried to give me a woman's bike and refused to refund my money. i had to contact the corporate office to get them to deliver.

so i am dreading this interaction. if it were for someone else i would be stellar; i always got what i wanted for my clients when i worked on the crisis team. dunno why i can't do it for myself.

  You are your own client in this life, you are your own advocate.  Give 'em hell! 

[odeon]

Tell them you *know* some people.

['andersom']

Did it work other than creating clean workspaces, or did it only leave the clean people lacking clean dishes to use in the community space? Have never had roommates, so may not get it. People who live together have to adhere to clearly defined duties to avoid conflicts over stupid crap. Some people are simply users, and if talking about it doesn't help, then get out talks are more in order, otherwise resolve to being resentful and used, or resentful and passive aggressive.

We lived with four women in a flat with a small kitchen.
Rules were clear, we ate together, the one who cooked did not have to do the dishes. After meal time the dishes would be done, the counter would be clean. Worked well.
Then J said she wanted to experience how it would be to do everything on her own, and she wanted to eat later than we did. She got her own space in the fridge and she would leave the space clear and stuff clean after she was done with her meals too.

So, every evening we cleaned the kitchen. And every morning the counter was a complete mess. It was not a pile of things not washed yet, she took up all space and it was dirty and messy.
Confronted with it, several times she would not change her habits. We wanted a clean kitchen to be able to make our breakfast, lunch and diner. (while leaving things tidy when we left)
J was out of the building a lot. We were not planning on doing her huge mess on top of our own cleaning. (What she hoped for, somehow she could not get out of her skull that the one who had cooked did not have to clean, and that does not work when doing things on your own, of course) We had told her several times to stick by the rules. So, in order to get a clear workspace, we'd gather her stuff, neatly in a plastic dishwashing bowl, placed it in her room. Then we'd clean the counters and stove, and would go on with our cooking.
She was angry, of course. But so were we, and we had tried it with clear words a lot of times.

Get out talks were not an option. We all individually rented a room in that house, with shared use of bathroom and kitchen. It was a year contract. And only things like theft or extreme misbehaviour would have been a reason for the studenthousing company to throw someone out.

['andersom']

almost forgot why i came here.

i have to return a broken thing to the store. i didn't realize it was broken when i bought it. lack of social skills would be a bit of an obstacle in the states but it's an unknown quantity here. i have not lived in a city in a very long time, and the culture here is different too. i had a lot of trouble the last time i had to deal with customer service - i bought a bike and they took my money and never had the bike. they tried to give me a woman's bike and refused to refund my money. i had to contact the corporate office to get them to deliver.

so i am dreading this interaction. if it were for someone else i would be stellar; i always got what i wanted for my clients when i worked on the crisis team. dunno why i can't do it for myself.

I wonder why it is that it is easier to do this for someone else then for oneself. I know the problem. Same for me. Maybe for someone else I can get into a more business like mode, more detached, more effective?

[Al Swearegen]

Work. I better get to bed

["couldbecousin"]

  Laundry!  I hate it, but it must be done.

['andersom']

  Laundry!  I hate it, but it must be done.

In some foodproducing places employees have to wear disposable overalls. Any chance to get your boss ready to buy them for her employees?

Or get her to get a company clothes laundry contract. For hygiene reasons of course. Then your laundry baskets would not get that full that fast.

["couldbecousin"]

  Laundry!  I hate it, but it must be done.

In some foodproducing places employees have to wear disposable overalls. Any chance to get your boss ready to buy them for her employees?

Or get her to get a company clothes laundry contract. For hygiene reasons of course. Then your laundry baskets would not get that full that fast.

  We have a lundry service that launders our towels and aprons, and the white chef coats worn by the two cooks.
   For the rest of our uniforms, we are on our own.  Likewise, I must wash my own    and socks and whatnot.

[Jack]

Did it work other than creating clean workspaces, or did it only leave the clean people lacking clean dishes to use in the community space? Have never had roommates, so may not get it. People who live together have to adhere to clearly defined duties to avoid conflicts over stupid crap. Some people are simply users, and if talking about it doesn't help, then get out talks are more in order, otherwise resolve to being resentful and used, or resentful and passive aggressive.

We lived with four women in a flat with a small kitchen.
Rules were clear, we ate together, the one who cooked did not have to do the dishes. After meal time the dishes would be done, the counter would be clean. Worked well.
Then J said she wanted to experience how it would be to do everything on her own, and she wanted to eat later than we did. She got her own space in the fridge and she would leave the space clear and stuff clean after she was done with her meals too.

So, every evening we cleaned the kitchen. And every morning the counter was a complete mess. It was not a pile of things not washed yet, she took up all space and it was dirty and messy.
Confronted with it, several times she would not change her habits. We wanted a clean kitchen to be able to make our breakfast, lunch and diner. (while leaving things tidy when we left)
J was out of the building a lot. We were not planning on doing her huge mess on top of our own cleaning. (What she hoped for, somehow she could not get out of her skull that the one who had cooked did not have to clean, and that does not work when doing things on your own, of course) We had told her several times to stick by the rules. So, in order to get a clear workspace, we'd gather her stuff, neatly in a plastic dishwashing bowl, placed it in her room. Then we'd clean the counters and stove, and would go on with our cooking.
She was angry, of course. But so were we, and we had tried it with clear words a lot of times.

Get out talks were not an option. We all individually rented a room in that house, with shared use of bathroom and kitchen. It was a year contract. And only things like theft or extreme misbehaviour would have been a reason for the studenthousing company to throw someone out.

Still not sure from reading that, if it worked or not. It makes sense both sides were angry, though if there were clear words a lot of times, wondering how angry and aggressive those words were. It's surprising unsanitary living complaints wouldn't be relevant to student housing officials. Oldest once lived in a similar arrangement, though it was on military base; it was a quad with four private bed/bath rooms and shared living and kitchen. Once was written up for unsat living conditions. Protested the write-up because of living with two slobs and never even used the shared areas because of them. The protest prompted a more detailed inspection which included the private rooms, and then the two slobs were gone. A tidy plastic bowl of dishes in a bedroom is more passive than placing them directly in someone's bed, and the bed is more passive than smashing them against the bedroom wall. That isn't a criticism, as overt aggression beyond aggressive words involves violence.

[Jack]

Yep. That is what I don't want. Kayleigh has been at a friend's house all weekend. I don't know when she is coming back home. When she is home I barely see her as I am out all day while she sleeps and then she's awake all night whilst I sleep.

Has it been discussed at all then? Remembering someone once suggesting the presumption of relationship roles might be the issue. Though that type of role assignment usually involves on person who is responsible for the bulk of the cleaning, while the other is responsible for the bulk of the bills. That sort of arrangement works well for some people, if it's clearly defined.

["couldbecousin"]

Yep. That is what I don't want. Kayleigh has been at a friend's house all weekend. I don't know when she is coming back home. When she is home I barely see her as I am out all day while she sleeps and then she's awake all night whilst I sleep.

Has it been discussed at all then? Remembering someone once suggesting the presumption of relationship roles might be the issue. Though that type of role assignment usually involves on person who is responsible for the bulk of the cleaning, while the other is responsible for the bulk of the bills. That sort of arrangement works well for some people, if it's clearly defined.

I might need to define expectations for my own living situation, i.e., living alone and doing nothing. 

[Jack]

Yep. That is what I don't want. Kayleigh has been at a friend's house all weekend. I don't know when she is coming back home. When she is home I barely see her as I am out all day while she sleeps and then she's awake all night whilst I sleep.

Has it been discussed at all then? Remembering someone once suggesting the presumption of relationship roles might be the issue. Though that type of role assignment usually involves on person who is responsible for the bulk of the cleaning, while the other is responsible for the bulk of the bills. That sort of arrangement works well for some people, if it's clearly defined.

I might need to define expectations for my own living situation, i.e., living alone and doing nothing. 

But your behavior isn't upsetting someone you care about.

['andersom']

@Jack, the housing company did not give a shit. They did not give a damn when we had to remove mushrooms every other day due to neglect from the property owner.
We did not soil anything in J's room, only provided clear space in the kitchen without doing her dishes. After a while she got the message. We lived happily together again.

[Queen Victoria]

meetings