uuuugggggg so many mixed feelings.
I know I had a big part of responsibility of why it didnt work out last time, and now I know that I cant expect the boy to be who he isn't. He truly feels inferior to women, and I can't change that. I just have to know that I have more responsibility than just a girlfriend if I do decide to take him back. He would be my submissive and I can't confuse that with a boyfriend. We would never be equals, I will always be superior to him. I know he worships me, literally. i also know that I NEED D/s in my life and current boy is not interested nor is he the type to have hidden inclinations.
Hailey, what a strange boys you are, and you've been in my head and heart for almost a year now. The mistakes I made with you in the past I know won't happen again, but that doesnt mean it will work out. I don't think many girls would even understand a boy like Hailey, and I know that I do and that I can take care of him and protect him from the weary world. And he has a truck and will help me move
I never really stopped caring about him. But I dont know if 2 damaged people can make it work without damaging each other more. I know I want to see him, at least. I want to make sure he is happy and I want to see if there is anything I can do to make him feel better about himself. I almost had him convinced he was normal before we broke up the last time. I don't know what it going to happen but I have to see him. I have to.