Just one quick bitch, part two

[bodie]

But I tried with a girl working at Systembolaget today, and she is real for sure. She once asked me for my ID, so she must have thought that I was younger than 20. I have joked about it a couple of times now, but she doesn't bite. 

She's probably embarrassed about the whole thing now. Older guy trying to chat her up using the same line, for months and months and months.

I've done it twice. If she could think out of the box, she would think: "Haha, I thought this guy was less than half his real age. That's kind of charming. He seems nice."

But of course someone working at Systembolaget doesn't have the brains for that.

What do you want, Lit? First you complain about a girl knowing Spanish, and a bit of Latin, not being interested in you. And now you complain about a girl that doesn't have the brains to get a joke isn't interested in you.

Lit wants a girl from Kilkenny
To lick shit off his dick for a penny
Then for half of that sum
Stick it up her bum
And record it for the amusement of many   

[Queen Victoria]

So far, 2014 is boring.

[DirtDawg]

We have lost our "Asset Protection Manager" to another job which means the one full time guy who is in charge of (AP shit is actually quite huge in responsibilities over a monthly basis) watching the security cameras at least forty hours per week. Think:  Security Guard, but NO badge, NO gun, NO flashlight, NO authority, NO ability to do anything to actually Protect Assets, but stare at a HUGE fucking split screen monitor all day with eight constantly zooming and panning cameras.

I have been re-assigned as AP Manager (couple of things; I am the only one qualified to fulfill the position, I am the only one available just now, I am part time these days and can not choose my position as easily as when I was THE one full time Guru in Inventory Control).

I fucking get vertigo if I even look at those stupid zooming and panning cameras for more than a few minutes!!  I am a little bit autistic in some ways, see. Working a shift, supposedly watching those fucking panning and zooming cameras is impossible for me. I can not look. Fortunately I can operate a single camera by remote if I want and I do - I just ask if "someone else is on this guy," when questioned by the "bosses" about one camera being up.

I CAN NOT FUCKING DO THIS!!!

I also have to greet every person entering the building and check every package leaving the building, search every employee leaving.

I do not do well encountering strangers, in general. This is why I used to lose my temper and put people in the hospital when I was younger. It gets to me!!  I can usually just be an asshole right back and walk away, knowing I am the best asshole or whatever, but if I have to be all NICE - it gets to me. I begin to lose my social skills.

I do not like to be forced to behave other than what comes naturally with strangers. I get fatigued. When I get fatigued, I lash out at strangers who piss me off. I can not help it.  I can AVOID strangers and I have done well in these past few years doing so, keeping to myself in "my cave,"  living in the warehouse, doing the really smartguy Inventory Control stuff and keeping away from ALL strangers. 

I can be "nice"  with nice people and do fine, get over it quickly, strangers and all, but ...

My temper is growing again. I am not going to be able to stay in THIS horrible fucking AP position for very long. I will be fired because I WILL lose my temper or someone will be in injured. I might end up in jail.  It is a pattern I have fought my entire life. I can not do this much longer.

I can do fine, fake it like anyone else, until I just FUCKING can not take any more. Not sure how much more I can take.

I know that I sound like a whiny little bitch, but the result of my losing my cool is not pretty and it can get me into trouble. DO not even try to tell me to deal with it. I AM DEALING WITH IT!!

...  but I do not know for how much longer I can continue this way.

[bodie]

I also have to greet every person entering the building and check every package leaving the building, search every employee leaving.

I would find that aspect very tough.  I would probably end up being quite rude. 

[Queen Victoria]

Ouch Dirt Dawg.  I was a right asshole when Walmart would ask to see your purchases/receipt.  Gave them a hard time if not an evil look.  Now I'm "who gives a shit?"

(Funny thing I never minded showing a receipt at Sams.  Because nothing was bagged so I saw the need to count items and compare to a receipt.)

Hope things get right soon for you. 

[Semicolon]

DD: Have you talked to whoever assigned you to your new position?

[Icequeen]

I also have to greet every person entering the building and check every package leaving the building, search every employee leaving.

I would find that aspect very tough.  I would probably end up being quite rude.

I wouldn't last a day.

Do whatever you need to do for self-preservation.

My problem with this shit was whenever they put me in a jobs like this I always did them a little too well, so they would drag their feet hiring someone else (why pay another employee when we have one that will do it) and then eventually I would go "boom" in a massive way and out the door I went.
 
If you have any time off due you...take it. The faster they get off their asses and hire someone for the position the better.

[DirtDawg]

DD: Have you talked to whoever assigned you to your new position?

Yes. That is how I learned that I was the only one on staff qualified by training for this position. Then after a great deal of complaining and trying to submit a few reasons as to why I can not do this job, I learned that I was also the only one available, who was also qualified.

I am fucked.

I am quite likely to to lose it, if this continues.

[DirtDawg]

I also have to greet every person entering the building and check every package leaving the building, search every employee leaving.

I would find that aspect very tough.  I would probably end up being quite rude.

I wouldn't last a day.

Do whatever you need to do for self-preservation.

My problem with this shit was whenever they put me in a jobs like this I always did them a little too well, so they would drag their feet hiring someone else (why pay another employee when we have one that will do it) and then eventually I would go "boom" in a massive way and out the door I went.
 
If you have any time off due you...take it. The faster they get off their asses and hire someone for the position the better.

Yeah. I might "go boom!"

... and, Yeah, I am the best at whatever I do. They WANT me to do this.

I am more aware than anyone else about comings and goings of each customer, keep track of every movement within and without the store, know who is out to lunch and who is gone for the day, where all the keys are and I am more conversational about moment by moment  issues on the radio (did I mention having to keep up radio contact with the entire store all day long as well?) than anyone else who attempts this position.
I am TEH rockstar, but it suXXors and I H8 it!!

There is also a Black Out of time off during the "holiday season."  NO one can ask for time off during the HoliFUCKINGdays!

I have ninety hours of unused Vacation time, sixty hours of unused Sick days, seventeen hours of Personal time. I checked recently.
Does not matter due to the Black Out.

End of Black Out is two weeks away.

Thought of all that,  and maybe I should try to be less than effective just to survive, but I am not put together that way. I know that the world is full of worthless wastes of skin who CAN do less than their best and still get by, but I can not. I can not do less than my absolute best at what ever I do, even if if hurts me.

I am fucked!

[Gopher Gary]

That sucks, DD. I wish I had some advice. I hope it works out OK. 

[DirtDawg]

So far, all I have left to go by is my dad's old advice:  "Grit your teeth and smile."

I am wearing out my teeth. I can not just grit them; I grind them.  My jaw muscles are beginning to cramp and it literally hurts my face to smile this much.

Thank all the fucks I ever tried to saved for later (unfortunately, not as many in my fuckbank as I wish I had saved), that I had this morning off!!

 

['andersom']

Shit DD, that job description spells overload on overload. I get physically nauseous when I only read it.
Any chance you can get them to make you do this not more than two hours in the day, in the morning, and then get you working in the back of the firm on your own, to get back to your senses?

You are a strong man, you would probably last through a whole day, if it was just one. You might even make it more days in a row, but that would come at a cost that can not be brought upon you or your family after work.

Don't want you to break, but, if it had to be, I'd rather see you losing your cool at work than at home.

You have my sympathies.
I do not envy you.

[Icequeen]

Thought of all that,  and maybe I should try to be less than effective just to survive, but I am not put together that way. I know that the world is full of worthless wastes of skin who CAN do less than their best and still get by, but I can not. I can not do less than my absolute best at what ever I do, even if if hurts me.

I am fucked!

Yep, easier said than done I know, I'm the same way.

Hope the next 2 weeks fly by for you, or they hire someone soon DD.

 

[Pyraxis]

Ugh. Wishing you strength to keep at it until they can get somebody else trained (they better be training somebody else!) and/or something else happens that gives you some relief.

[DirtDawg]

Ugh. Wishing you strength to keep at it until they can get somebody else trained (they better be training somebody else!) and/or something else happens that gives you some relief.

Thanks, but the interview process for this position is ongoing.