I just had the thought: what if my former mistress was transsexual? I can't rule it out either.
If I ever emotionally realized the wrong things, it would mean I have been seriously abused and tortured by a man while being very vulnerable, which would make me equally as much traumatized by it. This is just extremely frightening. I didn't know her that long.
One time it is tiotally fine because you are fucking obsessive and mental, and the other it is like you have been raped in your childhood.
Well I am not sure if that actually happens, but it is what would happen if just the sexual/emotional aspect was gone. I guess it is more like him still being female in memory and being confusingly corrected partially by the brain in that. Not sure what happens with really intense emotions.