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Author Topic: Post what you are thinking right now, part two  (Read 277314 times)

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14115 on: January 12, 2022, 02:37:34 PM »
A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14116 on: January 13, 2022, 11:33:15 AM »
Today's humour

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14117 on: January 13, 2022, 12:19:29 PM »
Quote from: Queen Victoria on January 13, 2022, 11:33:15 AM
Today's humour

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I dunno. How?  :zoinks:
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14118 on: January 14, 2022, 11:57:53 AM »
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

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Offline odeon

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14119 on: January 14, 2022, 03:33:46 PM »
*groan*
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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

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Offline Charlotte Quin

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14120 on: January 17, 2022, 07:27:58 AM »
I want to paint my bedroom pink but I'm 38 years old.

I dunno, I'm driven to pick something dramatic, just like me :P
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14121 on: January 17, 2022, 11:45:31 AM »
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14122 on: January 17, 2022, 11:45:49 AM »
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14123 on: January 17, 2022, 06:09:25 PM »
Quote from: Queen Victoria on January 17, 2022, 11:45:31 AM
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

 :lol1:
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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14124 on: January 17, 2022, 06:10:19 PM »
The medical test I had today wasn't all all what I was expecting. I should have googled it. I wasn't mentally prepared for that. :aff:
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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14125 on: January 17, 2022, 06:19:18 PM »
Quote from: Charlotte Quin on January 17, 2022, 07:27:58 AM
I want to paint my bedroom pink but I'm 38 years old.

I dunno, I'm driven to pick something dramatic, just like me :P

I say do you.  :thumbup: When we first did the girl's room in our old house, we were picking out carpet and the sales guy pointed out they had a highly discounted remnant roll the perfect size for the room. It was pink. The walls were already painted, so we said no, no way will there be a room with pink walls and pink carpet. She ran over and hugged the roll of pink carpet and shouted, "I want this one!". So, guess what our house had.  :lol1:
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Offline renaeden

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14126 on: January 17, 2022, 07:03:54 PM »
Now that I'm older, I appreciate all the different pinks there are. As a kid I preferred purple.
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Offline Charlotte Quin

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14127 on: January 18, 2022, 08:08:16 AM »
I'm thinking of a coral pink, maybe even heading towards peach. I have quite the colour visual acuity you know, I won't be getting just any old pink. There are as many pinks as there are Dulux whites :laugh:
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14128 on: January 18, 2022, 10:34:52 AM »
An oldie but goody.

Lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say, my child?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?"

"That's terrible!" the priest .... exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots, whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank You!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are reading bible and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in the cage with the two male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi! We're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks at the other and exclaims, "Put the bibles away! Our prayers have been answered!!"
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A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Genesis

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Re: Post what you are thinking right now, part two
« Reply #14129 on: January 18, 2022, 07:42:51 PM »
Made a mix of those Taiwanese pan noodles... wondering if I should add some weird toppings the next time I make it...

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Quote from: Charlotte Quin on July 25, 2024, 06:11:16 AM
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