Author Topic: Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings  (Read 571 times)

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midlifeaspie

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Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings
« on: July 07, 2011, 01:07:30 PM »
Squid Engage in Drive-by Spermings



Squid sex is rough enough on anime chicks, but it's even worse if you're a male squid. Yeah, you're a badass sea monster with a razor-sharp beak, a tongue covered in rasping teeth and muscular tentacles lined with hundreds of razor-edged suckers, but so is she ... and she's usually bigger than you.


Above: Humans using electricity to force a male squid to "mate" with a dead female. Science, bitches!

Skipping the entire challenge of courtship, some species of squid store their sperm in complex arrowlike packets they can unexpectedly unleash on the female like a volley of spoogemissiles, fleeing back into the depths before she can even friendzone him.



"Have fun wringing child support out of some other chump!"

The female might not even notice he was ever there, except for the spunk-filled needles now drilling into her body. The literal cock rockets first adhere to the female's skin with a cementlike secretion, then release digestive enzymes to drive themselves deeper and deeper. Whether or not she was ready to settle down, her body will automatically absorb and utilize the sperm almost anywhere it hits, making the male squid sort of like a flying rape gun and the female squid sort of like one big inside-out fanged vagina.


In other words, you don't need to feel bad about eating them.


Courtesy of Cracked:  http://www.cracked.com/article_19295_the-7-sleaziest-mating-rituals-in-animal-kingdom.html

Offline Jesse

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Re: Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2011, 02:17:57 PM »
I have spoogemissles for cbc  :M
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2011, 08:12:37 PM »
I have spoogemissles for cbc  :M

PPK's muzzle is a lot biggger. His cumshots would make yours seem like BBs.

Offline Jesse

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Re: Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2011, 08:20:28 PM »
How would you know that? i cant imagine anyone nutting infront of a hideous fat guy like you
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2011, 08:33:42 PM »
How would you know that? i cant imagine anyone nutting infront of a hideous fat guy like you

Envy thy name is Richard.  :pwned:

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Re: Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2011, 08:52:16 PM »
what the fuck?
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Offline Squidusa

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Re: Squiddy Engages in Drive-by Spermings
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2011, 10:16:10 AM »
I don't think I need to tell you the horrors of being mistaken for a female squid.  :'(

Thanks for posting though MLA 'twas interesting.  :plus:
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.