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Author Topic: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D  (Read 1070 times)

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Offline ZEGH8578

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How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« on: June 30, 2011, 12:08:42 PM »
i dont know that many, but i like the kinda lame ones :D

# A catholic priest in northern norway, during the christianization of the lappish tribes. He asks one lapp "Did you see Jesus Christ!? Our lord and savior!"
"No!" the lapp replies "I didnt :o"
The priest grabs the lapp, and dunks his head into the well.
"NOW do you see Jesus!?" he yells. The lapp gasps for air, "No! No i dont!"
The priest dunks him again, and pulls him out, "Do you see Jesus!?"
"Are you sure its here he drowned!?" the lapp yells.

# What do you get when you cross a satanist and a jehovas witness? A guy going from door to door telling people to go to hell.

# The Norwegian, Dane and Swede [or whoever you wish, according to culture and geography] were on a deserted island. They found a magic lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie, granting them three wishes, one for each: The Norwegian immediately wished himself home to his friends and family, and poof he was gone. The Dane didnt hesitate either, and poof he was home in Denmark! The Swede then felt awfully lonely, and wished them both back again.

# Why does the Swede carry a car-door around the desert? To roll the window down when it gets too warm :D

# The Norwegian, Dane and Swede were in a nose-diving airplane, and there were unfortunately only two parachutes in the plane. They drew straws for the first one to go, which the Swede won, and happily jumped off the plane. "Dang... " the Dane said, "Now what do we do?"
"Dont worry, " the Norwegian said, "He jumped off with my backpack."

# The Norwegian, Dane and Swede were sentenced to ten years each, for horrible crimes. For some reason, they were allowed to bring with them any multitude of one type of item. The norwegian thought "fuck multitude", and brought with him a single hot woman. The dane thought "allright!" and brought with him hundreds of cases of beer. The swede thought like the dane, and brought with him hundreds of cases of tobacco.
The decade passes, and the Norwegian is freed, along with his girl, and 18 kids. The Dane is unlocked, only to be found flat on the floor, happily drunk, not going anywhere.
They open up the Swede's cell, finding him with a cig in his mouth, "Got any light guys?"

wooh!
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Offline Callaway

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2011, 12:33:10 PM »
:LMAO:

Funny.
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midlifeaspie

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2011, 02:47:41 PM »
These must be regional.  Do you refer to Swedes like American's refer to the Polish?

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Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2011, 02:50:44 PM »
Quote from: Hubert Cumberdale on June 30, 2011, 02:47:41 PM
These must be regional.  Do you refer to Swedes like American's refer to the Polish?



the nordic-jokes ive heard repeated in many cultures.
we will always make the swede out to be the dumb one, and ive had swedes telling me i got the jokes the wrong way around, obviously :D
some cultures tell the same joke, without any ethnic separation between the characters, making the punchline more tame, imo
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2011, 05:07:42 PM »
I can give you a bad joke - Barack Obama.

And an even worse one - Julia Gillard.

And an even worse one - Sarah Palin.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2011, 07:43:19 PM »
Quote from: Hubert Cumberdale on June 30, 2011, 02:47:41 PM
These must be regional.  Do you refer to Swedes like American's refer to the Polish?



Zegh said "or whoever you wish, according to culture and geography," so you could make them Brunette, Redhead, and Blonde Jokes if you prefer.
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Offline Semicolon

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2011, 07:47:24 PM »
Soleiyu, Richard and Pentagram walk into a bar... :zoinks:
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2011, 08:46:15 PM »
Years ago I gave up telling jokes that might offend someone, which are most jokes.  I just tell ethnic jokes now.  Two ethincs walk into a bar.........................
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2011, 09:38:33 PM »
Quote from: Semicolon on June 30, 2011, 07:47:24 PM
Soleiyu, Richard and Pentagram walk into a bar... :zoinks:

only cos they didn't see the fucker. I mean, it was on 2 saw horses across the footpath with a sign saying 'mind that big fucking hole'.
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eris

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2011, 10:20:51 PM »
I always liked a good dead baby joke.
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2011, 10:37:18 PM »
Quote from: eris on June 30, 2011, 10:20:51 PM
I always liked a good dead baby joke.

Trya nd get hold of these 2 books, both by Simon Bond.

101 Uses Of A Dead Cat

Cat's Revenge - 101 Uses Of a Dead Human.
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Psychophant

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2011, 10:41:09 AM »
 :lol:
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eris

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2011, 10:43:44 AM »
my fav... I know " old", but....classic !

What's blue and rolls all over the floor ?

A baby with a plastic bag over it's head


:)
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Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #13 on: July 01, 2011, 11:08:18 AM »
Quote from: eris on July 01, 2011, 10:43:44 AM
my fav... I know " old", but....classic !

What's blue and rolls all over the floor ?

A baby with a plastic bag over it's head


:)

YAY!!!

YOU ASPIES!!!
THE POINT OF THE THREAD WAS ALSO FOR YOU GUYS TO CONTRIBUTE W LOCAL JOKES!!!
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eris

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Re: How bout a Good ol JOKE :D
« Reply #14 on: July 01, 2011, 11:13:05 AM »
there is a local joke

"Kennywood's open"

Kennywood is a local amusement park

But "Kennywood's open"

Means "your zipper is down" :D :D :D :D
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