Yup i am ok. Thanks for thinking about me. 
Prepare for some ramblings of a lunatic 
I been sort of offline due to the urchin trying to make an ICT room in his bedroom and 'borrowing' various bits of my computer set up!
I have to say i am not the happy, carefree Bodie i usually am. 
I am a bit .... thoughtful and despondent. Why is the world so fucked up?
There is a little girl who has been abducted. Only 5 years old. Her name is 'april' and there is a big hunt for her at the moment. I keep hearing on the news that everyone is 'hopeful' that this little kid will be found safe and well and i really hope so, but it doesn't look good to be honest. Police have arrested a 46 year old man and they are focusing their search on an area around a river. It has been 36 hrs since she was taken and i hate to say it, but i doubt she is alive. If they have arrested the man who took her, then who is looking after her? it is looking grim. I sometimes feel the need to go shopping, or sometimes to gorge on chocolate, i sometimes feel an unexplainable urge to get jiggy with unknown men in hotel rooms but what the fuck makes someone have an urge to take a five year old away from her mom and dad and do something terrible with her? I don't get it. What did he get out of doing it? It fucks with my mind. They say they are 'interviewing' this man and i can't really understand that either. I would want to be carving him up. It's a good job i have no position in authority. I strongly oppose a 'death' penalty. 364 out of 365. Today i would grant April's family ten minutes alone in a room with this monster.
I have a five year old. Five year old kids should not be playing outside in the street at 7pm without adult supervision. Apparently this little village is a 'leave your back door open' kind of place! No, i don't believe her parents were bad for letting her play out in the street. Just naive. It is a lovely village with a great community spirit - as clearly shown by the high numbers of people who have turned out to join the police search. It doesn't make it safe.
I was changing the urchin's bed clothes earlier. The footprints on the covers confirm he has been jumping up and down on it again! I couldn't help but think about how on earth will April's mum feel about changing her bed. Or get rid of it. Or what do parents do with beds when their children are no longer coming home? Why do i think about such details? 
Why oh why did i drag my mind from the gutter only to find myself in Grimsville.
Also, you lot probably know i was once in the army. Soldiers just go and get the job done they have been given. The politics is left to others. However, hand on my heart i can tell you i would gladly have gone into Syria to defend those poor children who are being tortured, being tied to the front of tanks and who are being killed in great numbers every day. I can think of no better a reason to war than to save children. Children are our future. Wherever they are. I am sad we live in a world that see's oil reason to take up arms but not children. The soldiers i once knew were not really fussed about oil but many of them were excellent dad's. It's a fucked up world.
Oh and the other thing i discovered while i briefly took my thoughts out of the gutter? Jimmy Savile.
OMG i am going back to the gutter. Your real world really sucks.
Anyways ..... i am still here 
I can't believe it has been a year since I wrote this.
I just wanted to say that the family of April are having her funeral today. We are left to our imagination as to how April met her death. Piece of scum Mark Bridger won't say. Her body was never found. Just seventeen tiny fragments of bone.
I sincerely hope her family do not have the vivid imagination that I do.
Just wanted to remind you all what a shitty world we live in. I am good at sharing.
My urchin will get extra hugs today.
