Genderless Children

[midlifeaspie]

We have such a great range of opinions here I just had to ask when I read this: Who thinks this is good parenting?

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/parents-keep-4-month-olds-gender-secret/

[P7PSP]

 

[Adam]

I can't see many (if any) people agreeing with me on this, but in an ideal world, all children would be raised like this.

[midlifeaspie]

I can't see many (if any) people agreeing with me on this, but in an ideal world, all children would be raised like this.

But don't you agree that for the vast majority of people (99.999%) their gender isn't a problem?  And if it isn't a problem for them, why not teach them to embrace it?

['Butterflies']

I don't see the point of that. There is nothing wrong with a girl being a girl, and a boy being a boy. I would worry about the child ending up more confused because of their actions.
I think it would be better to bring the child up normally, but help it to understand that the parents will love it no matter what decisions it makes.

['Butterflies']

I do kinda see some point to what Soph says. It would be cool if we all weren't raised to conform to stereotypical gender roles, but I wouldn't want to be the one child who was raised like that.

[Natalia Evans]

Cool, you go there too. Yeah I heard about it over there and I thought it was weird. I am sure the kid will know soon anyway because he is going to learn boys have penises and girls do not and since he has one, he must be a boy. And I think the baby looks like a boy so I am calling it a he. But in that article he looked like a she but in the other one I saw, she looked like a boy. I'll stick with boy than calling him a "it."

[Adam]

Parents areen't the only ones who have an effect on wh0 someone grows up to be though. So even with parents who are completely open about gender and don't in any way force gender sterotypes onto a child, it still comes to them from other directions, particularly extended family, school etc

Almost all people are happy with their sex and assigned gender, but I would say a lot more people than we realise that have been negatively influenced by being brought up to fit a specified gender role.

As for "embracing" their sex, I don't think someone's sex should be that important to who they are. You shouldn't raise a kid to be ashamed of it obviously, no. But I think it's more important for a child to be taught that their sex isn't actually important, than to encourage them to "embrace" it. And yes, I know everyone will disagree with that.

Personally, if I could have kids then I definitely wouldn't raise my kid like this.

[Natalia Evans]

I played with blocks, Legos, action figures, toy cars, trucks, my brothers stuff growing up. I even liked Street Fighter as a kid and liked fighting games and watched Spider Man. Mom said I was a tomboy growing up because I did that stuff and also climbed trees and played in the dirt.

[midlifeaspie]

I don't "go there", but I do subscribe to a weekly email about the new kid, and a monthly one about the older kid.

['andersom']

I think the experiment won't last really long. By the time the child is a year or two, it may want to refer to itself with a gender, by the time it is four it will certainly have noticed a difference in gender, and will know it depends on what is between the legs.
It will not make a big difference for the baby/toddler I think. It may make some people aware on how focused they can be on gender.




Funny thing. I let my kids pick out their clothes from a very early age, the moment they could point with decision when I opened the closet with clothes. My oldest picked dark trousers, and simple sweaters as a toddler. My youngest dresses, either brightly coloured, or, most of the time, purple.
The oldest loved to have tails in her hair, the more the merrier. The youngest hated fussing with her hair.

The oldest, dark trousers, simple sweaters, was almost always taken for a girl, the youngest, flowery dresses and all, was taken for a boy a lot. Only when she had something in her hair, people would recognise her as a girl. Weird.

[Adam]

Cool, you go there too. Yeah I heard about it over there and I thought it was weird. I am sure the kid will know soon anyway because he is going to learn boys have penises and girls do not and since he has one, he must be a boy. And I think the baby looks like a boy so I am calling it a he. But in that article he looked like a she but in the other one I saw, she looked like a boy. I'll stick with boy than calling him a "it."

Don't most 4 month old babies just look like... babies

[Adam]

I think the experiment won't last really long. By the time the child is a year or two, it may want to refer to itself with a gender, by the time it is four it will certainly have noticed a difference in gender,

I think that's one reason in FAVOUR of this actually. People are saying it will cause bullying or an identity crisis, but the likelihood is that the kid will come to identify (however lightly) with one or the other from a very early age, and so will make the decision himself/herself before he/she gets anywhere near secondary school. And it will most likely correspond to its sex

[midlifeaspie]

I have read psychological studies that believe that gender stereotypes are actually hardwired.  If you show a 6 month old boy a picture of a car and a picture of a doll he will generally choose to look at the car, and a girl will look at the doll.  Show the same babies a video of mechanical action (windshield wipers was the example) and a video of a face talking and the boy will look at mechanical action and the girl will look at the person talking.

My son has been fascinated with cars from the first moment he saw one.

[Parts]

I can't see many (if any) people agreeing with me on this, but in an ideal world, all children would be raised like this.

But don't you agree that for the vast majority of people (99.999%) their gender isn't a problem?  And if it isn't a problem for them, why not teach them to embrace it?

Agreed.  I think this is just setting them up for many future problems that they would not have had otherwise.  Raising them to do what they want regardless and be accepting of it of gender would be a better option.  One of my boys took dance the other cooking lessons and he loves to cook neither bothered me and it was encouraged because it was what they liked even though they tend to be traditionally   more of a girl thing.