I'm horrified.
Not by the attack. The attack absolutely sickened me. Even though it may not have driven by gender, the arsehole who filmed it thought it was.
He was fired.What horrifies me is the responses in this thread. I'm really at a loss for the right words.
You all need to go back and read my threads on trans issues, particularly the arguments I had with Hadron and Calandale about what defines a woman. I'm looking at you again Odeon. I can't believe you wheeled out the tired cliche that a woman is only her reproductive system (functional or not). You've basically wilfully denied identity to millions of intersex people and to millions of transpeople. According to you, I'll never be a woman, and Soph will always be a woman. Can you fathom how offensive that is?
To put it into an autism context, it's about as offensive as AutismSpeaks telling us that we're burdens to our families and whatever. You basically became AutismSpeaks. Telling us, Soph and I, us trans people, what we are and what we are not without actually taking trans-perspectives into account. Congratulations. You're an arsehole.
I seriously hope that none of your children are trans. Whilst I'd never wish being trans upon anyone, I think it'd be the cruellest thing to have to be trans and have parents like you.
Not that I think you're any decent at parenting anyway. I know this because of the hours I've spent researching how your parents your children, and time I've invested in understanding what's it's like to be a parents and all the difficulties thereof. I feel that I have enough information to declare you all bad parents.
In case you didn't realise, the previous paragraph was sarcastic. I know next to nothing about how your parent your children, and have no right to have any say on the validity of how you go about it. But somehow, you do have a valid right to tell me I'll never be a women. To tell me that calling me 'she' is too difficult for you, aww I'm sorry my existence is difficult for you (that last was dripping with bitter sarcasm).
You're wrong. I don't "want" to be a woman. I
am a woman. This is not a psychological error any more than autism is. Both trans and autism are neurobiological in nature. Basically a
physical error in the brain.
Neurobiological = Hardware
Psychological = Software
I am the way I am, trans, autistics, adhd, possibly dyslexic, whatever else, because of errors in my brain and brain chemistry. I didn't just wake up one day and think "I want to be a woman, la da di di da". My first memory of realising I was supposed to be a girl was when I was 9, though my childmind processed that as wanting. FUCKING 9 years of age. I also tried to commit suicide that year. AT FUCKING NINE! This has always been a long term thing for me, I always had to deal with these feelings, that I was not male. Do you even know how hard I fought to "be male"? You really have no idea what I put myself through. The levels of suppression I went, suppressing my emotions, putting up walls in my mind, blocking out thoughts and ideas. It was so so hard
And now I have to deal with the repercussions of that. I have to deal with trying to bring down those walls, to learn how to deal with emotions properly and not just mentally run away from them. The depressions I get into because I can't control my negative emotions. The freakouts I have because some idea or thought or comment has trigged something in my mind. THAT'S FUCKING PSYCHOLOGICAL. THAT'S BECAUSE I TRIED TO BE MALE.
But, since I have begun transitioning, I have begun to live. Before, when I was Joshua. I had no life. I merely existed. I had no dreams, no goals. I didn't care enough. I just wanted to stay home and lose myself in stories (tv shows, games, movies, books etc). I now have dreams. I now have goals. I now have a life. I'm going places, I'm doing stuff. I'm engaging with the world in ways I never even realised. Don't you dare take that away from me.
I do know how hard it is for those around me to process this. I know the shit I've put renaeden through, and I will be eternally sorry for that. But I can't change what I am. Just the shell I am in. And renaeden has become supportive of Kayleigh. I know she misses Joshua, and I feel for her. But he is no longer, he never existed. He was a shell personality, put in place to try and fit in with the world in the way everyone was telling me to.
People telling you can't do this, you can't do that. Just as you have done today.
Well. FUCK YOU. I'll be who I want to be. I am Kayleigh. A woman.
I would like to note that this post was only directed at people like Odeon, Callaway and Swearengen. This is intended to be my last post on this forum*. I don't need people like you in my life any more. I've moved on.
(*=I reserve the right to change my mind)