Thanks for your patience in this discussion; points of provocation always tick me off due to viewing it as a character flaw of inability to claim responsibility for one's own actions. Absolutely a black and white judgmental response of me, but it is what it is so don't deny it.
hang on. If we postulate that she was provoked , it's
her actions we're disclaiming responsibility for, not
ours, right?
Not that I would call it "disclaiming responsibility" anyway, just examining a chain of cause and effect. The big question is: what do we do about it ?
Sometimes the weakest point in the chain (i.e, the mentally unstable individual) can find the strength to "take responsibilty" avoid a tragic outcome;more often, some stronger person needs to step in and take responsibilty instead
Taking responsibilty is a very different thing from assigning blame. And a very different thing from being guilty of anything. It's about trying to behave like an adult.
Assigning blame only leads to person blamed being overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. You might say: well, they deserve to be overwhelmed with guilt . But whether that's true or not, guilt is not an empowering emotion, quite the opposite. It's most likely to drive that person into doing something equally destructive, or worse. That's because it's always easier to be destructive, especially if you have it hammerered home that destructive is the only thing you can be, because that's the kind of person you are.
Now, i'm not obliquely trying to excue myself for some destructive thing I've done in my past, in case thatys what you're thinking. (Probably the most destructive thing I've ever done is take an overdose way back when I was 18, in case you're wondering) . I'm just saying that's how the human mind works, like it or not. And I actually was overburdened with guilt in my childhood, which makes it easy for me to see how it works. Once you're given a negative role by society, you have work insanely hard to step outside that role.
That's how it works. And if we're gonna play some kind of part in otherpeople's affairs, then it's better to play a constructive role, if we possibly can. Kicking someone when they're down never helps them, and never helps society either, never mind what kind of down it is. Kinder, less messy, and more honest, to just put a gun to their head. (huh. I'm
almost with Dirt Dawg there)
If that woman had taken responsibility, she wouldn't have started that fire. If the commentators had taken resposibility, they woulda STFU rather than press her buttons. So, nobody took responsibility. Well that's how it normally goes. Most people in the world are far too busy avoiding blame to actually take responsility. I'd rather we all stopped, and just looked at what we're doing instead.
