There is a point to what the guy said. I don't dress slutty, but if I did, I'd be carefull where I did it. I would avoid walking through dark areas at night and stay on roads where I felt safe.
Same as if I went out for a drink with a lot of money on me. I wouldn't go into some dingy, rough pub in a bad area, and let it be seen that I was carrying lotss of money. Of course it wouldn't give anyone the right to rob me, but I know that it would increase my chances of being robbed.
In an ideal world, we could go about our business knowing that we were safe from others. Sadly we don't live in an ideal world, and the burden of responsibility for our own safety ultimately rests on our own shoulders.
Thank you! I agree with everything you wrote.
I'm gonna post my conversation with TOW after all:
TOW: i dunno.. i still don't really agree. i think the woman should be prepared for wolf whistles/comments/whatever, but not more than that
personally
me: she should be prepared for attention
TOW: yeah, that's what i mean
me: but some attention may lead to negative attention
and i dunno
TOW: yeah, but i would say there is a distinct line between attention and physical aggression
and what someone wears isn't going to push someone over that line unless they're basically a sociopath to begin with
me: no but say, a woman is at a party
and she's wearing a dress that could double up as a boob tube
she's had a couple of drinks
and so has the guy she's making out with
he starts trying to slide his hand up her dress
and she's telling him no
now, he doesn't have any right to do that
BUT
the woman's behaviour and looks does send off wrong signals
TOW: again, i would say it's more to do with the couple of drinks/perceived vulnerability
me: but the guy has had some drinks too
do send off*
TOW: which is more related to the guy's own behavior/decisions
me: yes okay, but i'm saying not every guy who rapes is a sociopath
TOW: really?
me: and i'm not taking the rapist's side
look, i've been in dodgy situations myself
TOW: i know you're not
me: but those were situations I PUT MYSELF in
and i invited the attention
i just didn't like it when they tried to go further
and so women are like that
it's all nice and dandy when guys are all over you and saying they want to fuck you
but when they actually attempt to, it isn't anymore and you get scared
the fault sometimes is on both sides
TOW: eh i guess, but it's still situational imo... if you're talking solely about dressing a certain way (which was how i took the article), then i disagree that wearing certain clothes is "asking for it".. and nothing (behavior/clothing/whatever) excuses rape or assault
me: clothing+behaviour is sometimes asking for it though
i was lucky that i never got myself raped
but i sure did put myself in situations where it would have been possible
TOW: well, i mean, if you put yourself in a bar situation ostensibly looking for sex, then yes, you are knowingly putting yourself in danger. however, i think the article is more referring to women who dress the same way but are raped in a situation outside something like that (like off the street or whatever)
me: i think it's in general
it's related to the comment
a police officer made
TOW: i still think behavior/situation/etc. are much bigger factors than clothing
but the whole march and shit is stupid
me: yeah i agree with that