Parts might need this list in case he wants to build a TV set.
Enjoying television is as patriotic as knitting an apple pie or eating American flags. Here's a look at some of the components that make up these high-tech picture boxes:
• Glass: A high-end TV has a glass screen that when turned off (not recommended) will reflect your image. When turned on, it will reflect how awesome TV is.
• Cathode Ray Tube: No longer needed for modern TVs to work, but manufacturers still put one in every set just for old times' sake.
• Gold: TV signals, like men's hearts, are lustily attracted to gold, causing them to fly out of the sky into the gold brick in the back of every TV.
• A Couple of Horse Bones: 'Cause why not, right?
• Wires: They hook up to the wired helmets that all the actors wear to beam their acting into your TV.
• An Eternal Flame: To honor the former TV stars who have died.
• Tiny Fire Extinguisher: In case the eternal flame gets out of control.
• IBM PetaFlop SuperComputer: Guesses when you want to change the channel, lower the volume, etc., all to cover up the fact that the remote control doesn't do anything.
• Martin Sheen: He's gotta live somewhere.
ponds from now on.