Yeah, I had a perfect childhood. I was trapped in an old, rotting house deep into the countryside, with two deadbeat drug addicts, rarely got to go anywhere (let alone outside of the state), other family members constantly promising this and that but never delivering on them, wondering what the fuck was wrong with me, never getting the health care I wanted, always having behavior problems in school (until I dropped out at 8th grade), not knowing what the hell was wrong with me, never being taught anything.
All that my parents cared about was that I had something to eat. That was basically it. No future. No hope. Living like that for 17 years. Never getting what I really fucking needed! Now, look at me, I'm fucking pathetic. This is what happens when autistic children get abused and neglected. Well, maybe not always, but still... If I had not assaulted my mother in public, gotten arrested, put into a foster home, blah blah blah. I wouldn't be here, that's for damn sure. Being left alone with just my worthless biological mother with no one else, I probably would have killed her and myself in rage of something stupid. I'm dead fucking serious!
Now that I do have a window of opportunity, I've already turned into a fucking heathen who doesn't want to do anything, doesn't want anything, fuck. I just don't know what I want anymore. I do want some attention, doesn't everyone? My soul is dying, it needs some serious help, but I don't know what or where.