I kind of lost my cool, yesterday, with my son. The washer, dryer and dishwasher were all going when he came home from school. I was super stressed from dealing with the telephone, taxes, an outing, daily chores, etc and I was insensitive to his needs. He was bouncing off the walls, zipping around, doing his autistic echoing thing and stim-pacing everywhere. About the fifth time I ran into him, I raised my voice to him. I felt like a total fucking lowlife-heel, redneck moron. We talked for a half hour afterwards and things got better, for both of us. We ended up wrestling/roughhousing in his bedroom. I wish he had a real, stable man for a dad, instead of some autistic twitch like me, sometimes.
(not a whine, just an inner feeling, an intense one, that I usually hide.)