Since first grade I have been training myself to be noncompetetive, and to be alright about being inferior to others in any and every way, and alright with not being as lucky as others, or as advantaged as others. So basically since first grade I have been teaching myself how to be okay with anything that life throws at me.
Basically when I first started going to school, I found there were people prettier than me, and smarter than me, and I could choose to feel jealous of them, or I could choose to not want those things. And I picked the latter.
anything that life throws at you? even good stuff? what if life threw at you something positive, would you be able to handle that? would you be able to take happiness? for people who have all their lives pretty much expected life to suck in some way have trouble adjusting to happy turns of events and might even self-sabotage to get out of that alien situation. that's how it is for me anyway, happiness is hard to accept when you instintually worry about the rug being pulled from under you.
you are not inferior, in your looks or any other way, i dunno what superprimped up movie stars you hang out with who make you feel less pretty but pay no attention to them, it's all smoke and mirrors and photoshop. you're a good looking guy and you have a good heart.
you have to train yourself to accept the fact that you are not inferior, and that you have the right to be happy and that it is possible for you to be happy. you have to prepare for happiness too, or you might accidentally step on it when it arrives.
Yup, actually.
I expected somebody was going to tell me I wasn't inferior in some or every way.
Now I don't think I'm perfect. I'm sure if something was terrible enough I would have trouble dealing with it. But I have gotten pretty good at accepting life as it is.
Perhaps inferior is a bad word to use, because it has a negative connotation, but the fact of the matter is, there are people who are widely believed to be prettier than I am, and there are people who are much stronger than me, and more in shape, and more and better in a lot of other ways. So in those ways, at least, I AM inferior to them. And perhaps beauty might transcend human understanding, and ultimately I am just as beautiful as anyone else, but since it is people I am dealing with, what they think matters.
And an important point I want you to be aware that I am aware of, is that different people will view me in different ways. Some might think i'm below average, some might think I am above average. Somebody might think I am the most beautiful person they've ever seen. But I think I am widely regarded as unattractive. Perhaps not hideous, but unattractive. Personally I think I am really unattractive(not really hideous, because I have seen hideous, but for a quick description to my appearance I would say hideous) to myself, meaning I find myself not aesthetically pleasing.
But most importantly, I don't care(or in some situations I feel proud or pleasure from odd things). I don't feel bad about being unattractive. I don't feel bad about not being as strong as other people, or as in shape. And I am not just saying that to chase people away from my true feelings, I genuinely don't care.
I often hear people lamenting being weird. Or not fitting in. And I my honest advice to people like that(although I don't give it) is to stop thinking of that as a bad thing. Some people apparently consider not fitting shameful. And I don't.
The reason I don't give that advice is because I don't expect it would be easy to do. I started in 1st grade, so I am way ahead.
