I don't do holiday or birthday shopping or decorating. If you want a gift, ask for it, pick a price range, write me a note, I don't do surprises, I can't read minds, I wasn't born with the knowledge of how much money i am supposed to spend on such and such occasion. I aint gonna write any cards, I aint gonna put up any decorations. If you want a special occasion, lets all get plastered, do drinking games, and watch an appropriate movie - porn, if you want.
If you want surprises, if you want gifts, then you are going to have to construct a fool proof manual with instructions on how I am supposed to select the gift.