Smear if there's no speculum and I just get fingered. Anal if there's a speculum for the other procudure. I jump out the window if there's a speculum for both.
Red or black licorice?
There does tend to be a speculum involved for cervical smear tests, not sure about the anal test.
Red licorice, I hate the taste of the black stuff.
Listen to finger nails down a black board for an hour or get hugged by a stranger for 10 minutes.