So, it seems like every so-called national holiday, I'm going to be left alone to wallow in my depression, which just so happens to worsen during those times, to the point where I start to get furious at the entire world. Families and friends celebrating with gifts, parties, and just being together for a special moment. I can't get any of that. My family is basically next to worthless, I have no friends. Basically, the only person I have is my former foster mother, but the problem is, I don't feel like we just... I don't know. I just don't get that "family" feeling with her. She helps me with my transportation problems, but she is busy with her life. The only person whom I have that "family" feeling is with my youngest half-sister. But she doesn't come and see me in person, I can hardly ever contact her when I need to talk to her, and she is incompetent. I have reasons to believe that she is a sociopath, because she and her older sister has that charm, but they are fake and lie often. I am finding it very difficult to put my thoughts into words, because I'm just frustrated.
My youngest half-sister always tells me that she and her older sister always prays for me every night, that they and the rest of the family all love me and stuff. Where's the fucking love? Can't make the effort to come and see me, not on my Birthday, not on Thanksgiving, not even on Christmas? I don't feel any love from my family. They don't have any hardships that prevent them from getting around. Sure, you could tell me to just forget about my family, but what do I have to move on to? Nothing. I can't just cling to one person for the rest of my life!
You know what? If I were an NT, I'd fucking have it all right now! But as an autistic, with piss-poor communication skills, no understanding of body language or how to just get everything you want! And next to no family to help, I'm just gonna be left to die alone.
And I don't have but 1 or 2 friends on MSN. So most of the time, the Internet is almost USELESS to me because I have no one to communicate with. I'm fucking sick and tired of being left alone to suffer, especially in times that are supposed to count!
I really wish all of you a Merry Fucking Christmas and a Happy Fucking New Year. I'm not the Grinch. I don't steal others' presents. And I am not Scrooge, I have next to no money.
NOTICE: Any bullshit from anyone, especially from the employees of Shleed & Co., will be disregarded and unacknowledged... just like my existence! Hahaha! What a joke! 
It's time for another shot of 7-dollar vodka, or two. To Hell with everyone. I hope you all get everything you deserve.
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