I know that there is no point in posting this, because there's no way that anyone can really help me, and this thread will just get buried under a flurry of General Worthlessbeard's faggotry threads, but I'm gonna do it anyways because I have no other way of really venting. And I'll keep on bumping this thread until I get a few goddamned answers! Now, I know that when you are autistic, that you are usually impaired when it comes to social skills, but it seems like as time goes on, I'm finding it harder and harder to just interact with anyone anymore. The few friends I have on MSN, I can't really talk to them because they don't really show any interest in what I say or what I like. Since I am not getting any new contacts, I think I'm gonna uninstall the goddamned worthless program sometimes soon, since it's nothing but just a fucking piece of adware.
In real life, I am considering going back to college, I was awarded the Pell Grant for the Spring 2010 semester. Maybe I'll get the Tennessee Lottery Scholarship, too. That's gonna help grow my savings account, as long as I get a GPA above 2.0, which is a C average. But anyways, I feel like it's too difficult to know when to do this and that for social interaction. In the Sims 2, when your Sim's social meter gets low, he/she starts crying and shit. All you have to do to resolve that is click on another Sim and click on Talk, BAM! His social meter is on its way to being filled back up and your Sim becomes happy again! Even if you fail to do that, the Social Bunny magically drops from above and you can talk to him. I wish it was that simple in reality, but it isn't. Talking to someone can be very tricky and difficult because everyone is different in the right places and the same in the wrong places. When you are just sitting there, feeling all depressed and lonely because no one wants to talk to you, when you really need someone to talk to, there's no Social Bunny to drop in and be friendly and listen to you.
And I fucking swear, it's always up to me to take the initiative and I simply can NOT do it! I need a friend or two, preferably in real life, who cares about me, and wants to help me. My former foster mother is the only person I have, and she is busy with her life. I'm glad she goes out of her way to give me a ride to the grocery store or to the doctor's appointment, but I'm afraid that one day, she's gonna get sick of giving me a ride or not being able to socialize with me properly that she won't answer the phone. Most of my family has already given me up for their own selfish ways, many years ago. A man that offered to teach me how to drive, after one session, stopped answering my calls. After selling him a laptop and helping his dumbass do the simplest fucking things on it several months ago.
For about a year, I have been in this "transitional living program" which, as my foster mother has said, is a joke. There's basically nothing this program can do for me, but I cannot bring myself to tell my case manager that, because I need that conversation I have with her when she visits every week. They are planning on cutting me off of that program in about a month. They cannot teach me how to drive for some reason. Fucking useless. If you are going to transit me from "dependent living" to "independent living", then you better have driver's education as part of the plan in case I didn't have my parents to teach me how to drive. And I sure as Hell do NOT have anyone to teach me how to drive. Fucking useless program. Maybe that's why it's voluntary.
Well, I'm just sitting on my ass, depressed and all that. Cannot sleep because of it. These pills I have been getting just don't do the trick anymore, so it looks like the doctor's gonna have to up the dosage the next time I see her. Or maybe I'll fucking take more of them myself, I have a little surplus of Zoloft from the times I skipped my doses. I guess I'll just close this soapbox for now.
I know what you mean about finding it harder to interact with people as you get older. Ever since I left school I would say that my social skills have got worse. I think it's because nowadays I interact with the same few people every day, rather than being forced to interact with completely different people. I think going back to college would be a good idea for you. It would get you out of the house and force you to interact with different people, and hopefully make some new friends.
I need a friend or two, preferably in real life, who cares about me, and wants to help me.
You can't look for friends that want to help you. They probably won't want to help you to begin with. Once they become your friends, if they see that you need help they might be willing to help.
I wish I could give you better advice, but sadly I'm hopelss socially myself, and I don't have many of the answers.
The few suggestions I do have are:
Get yourself out and about. You'll struggle to make any IRL friends in your apartment. College would be great. Where I live there are a lot of church youth groups. They go around the community trying to help people. They seem really nice and friendly, and accepting. I don't know if you have stuff like that where you live, but joining something like that might be fun.
Voluntary work might help you to meet nice people. You don't get paid for it, but it definately could help you meet people.
Get a job. I'm sure I read in an older thread that you said you lost a job because you were rude to customers. Maybe it doesn't come easy to you, but I'm sure you're smart enough to be able to learn to behave in a way that won't get you sacked.
Above all else. BE NICE TO EVERYONE. I don't know how you behave in real life, but on the internet I've seen 2 Pentagrams. One is a total jerk. The other is a nice guy who I actually quite like. If you let the jerk show through it will put most people off being your friend. Even if you think someone else is a total jerk and you don't want to be their friend, still be nice to them. If you're a jerk to them, other people, who you might want to be friends with will see you being a jerk, or hear about it, and that could be enough to put them off you.
OK, sorry. I know that's probably not the best advice, but it's the best I can do. The truth is I'm probably just as bad socially as you are.