I fucking hate people.

[DukeNukem]

I know that there is no point in posting this, because there's no way that anyone can really help me, and this thread will just get buried under a flurry of General Worthlessbeard's faggotry threads, but I'm gonna do it anyways because I have no other way of really venting. And I'll keep on bumping this thread until I get a few goddamned answers! Now, I know that when you are autistic, that you are usually impaired when it comes to social skills, but it seems like as time goes on, I'm finding it harder and harder to just interact with anyone anymore. The few friends I have on MSN, I can't really talk to them because they don't really show any interest in what I say or what I like. Since I am not getting any new contacts, I think I'm gonna uninstall the goddamned worthless program sometimes soon, since it's nothing but just a fucking piece of adware.

In real life, I am considering going back to college, I was awarded the Pell Grant for the Spring 2010 semester. Maybe I'll get the Tennessee Lottery Scholarship, too. That's gonna help grow my savings account, as long as I get a GPA above 2.0, which is a C average. But anyways, I feel like it's too difficult to know when to do this and that for social interaction. In the Sims 2, when your Sim's social meter gets low, he/she starts crying and shit. All you have to do to resolve that is click on another Sim and click on Talk, BAM! His social meter is on its way to being filled back up and your Sim becomes happy again! Even if you fail to do that, the Social Bunny magically drops from above and you can talk to him. I wish it was that simple in reality, but it isn't. Talking to someone can be very tricky and difficult because everyone is different in the right places and the same in the wrong places. When you are just sitting there, feeling all depressed and lonely because no one wants to talk to you, when you really need someone to talk to, there's no Social Bunny to drop in and be friendly and listen to you.

And I fucking swear, it's always up to me to take the initiative and I simply can NOT do it! I need a friend or two, preferably in real life, who cares about me, and wants to help me. My former foster mother is the only person I have, and she is busy with her life. I'm glad she goes out of her way to give me a ride to the grocery store or to the doctor's appointment, but I'm afraid that one day, she's gonna get sick of giving me a ride or not being able to socialize with me properly that she won't answer the phone. Most of my family has already given me up for their own selfish ways, many years ago. A man that offered to teach me how to drive, after one session, stopped answering my calls. After selling him a laptop and helping his dumbass do the simplest fucking things on it several months ago.

For about a year, I have been in this "transitional living program" which, as my foster mother has said, is a joke. There's basically nothing this program can do for me, but I cannot bring myself to tell my case manager that, because I need that conversation I have with her when she visits every week. They are planning on cutting me off of that program in about a month. They cannot teach me how to drive for some reason. Fucking useless. If you are going to transit me from "dependent living" to "independent living", then you better have driver's education as part of the plan in case I didn't have my parents to teach me how to drive. And I sure as Hell do NOT have anyone to teach me how to drive. Fucking useless program. Maybe that's why it's voluntary.

Well, I'm just sitting on my ass, depressed and all that. Cannot sleep because of it. These pills I have been getting just don't do the trick anymore, so it looks like the doctor's gonna have to up the dosage the next time I see her. Or maybe I'll fucking take more of them myself, I have a little surplus of Zoloft from the times I skipped my doses. I guess I'll just close this soapbox for now.

Oh, and General Faggotbeard, go ahead and make some more of your fucking worthless threads to bury this one and try to deliberately get me to spaz out. That's never gonna happen. I'll just keep on bumping this bitch until someone fucking listens. And if you don't like that you fucking ugly, mutated, attention whore bastard, then you know what to do, just spare us the details of your racism and your "I'm Special" bullshit, because I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!

[The_Chosen_One]

Give it to 'em Judy! 

[renaeden]

I think it is a good idea for you to go back to college. It can be a good way to make a friend.
I made a friend at uni, sort of. She is not even in any of my classes but we still see each other once a week. She is sort of like a study buddy.

[Callaway]

General Razorbeard has been sinbinned temporarily, so he can't start new threads right now except for in the Sin Bin, My Way or the Highway, and the Main Event, if I remember correctly.  He can still post in his old threads, though.  He threatened to post kiddy porn but if he does, we will make him wish he hadn't.

Enough about him, anyway.

What were you majoring in before when you were in college?  What made you stop going?  Will you have the same major when you go back?

I wonder if maybe your driving scared the guy who was trying to teach you, and that's why he's embarrassed to return your calls?

Why can't your transitional program help you learn to drive?  Of course, even after you learned how, buying and maintaining a used car would probably still be pretty expensive.

I don't think bumping up your Zoloft on your own would be a good idea because even if you have a little surplus, you would run out.  If it helped you before but then stopped helping and if you aren't already taking the higher end of the therapeutic range and you aren't suffering any side effects, then I think the doctor would probably increase the dosage for you though.  Just out of curiosity, how much do you take now?

Making friends is difficult, but I think you have to also focus on what you could offer a friend, not just on what they could offer you, if that makes any sense.  I know it's not the same, because none of us live near you, but at least you have us to talk to here.

[Celticgoddess]

A) Congrats on the grant! Apply for whatever you can and get good use out of it!

B) Go back to school. It will give you a reliable routine, something to work towards, and you never know who you're going to meet. But you stand a better chance of meeting someone if you're in college than just being at home.

C) I'm so glad you have someone like your foster mum in your corner. Do something special for her every once in awhile. Something simple like a card that says what you want to say and you can just sign your name, clipped flowers, a book she might like etc. People who feel like they're appreciated for the things they do usually continue to do them.

D) If you like your case worker, tell her about needing to learn how to drive and ask her to find you some contacts. Since she's there working for you, put her to work.

[Queen Victoria]

Not sure how much this advice is worth but:

Go back to college.  If nothing else it will keep your mind active.  

Get out and walk if possible.  You probably could use to lose some weight.  Use the gym at university or take a PE class.  (As soon as I follow my own advice about this you'll know).

Some part of making friends is first and second impressions.  
     If you dress neatly and are clean, then people will view you more favorably than if you're not.  
     I'm pretty sure you're embarrassed about your teeth.  Can you find a way to get them straightened?    
     Swearing turns off most people.  I will admit that my limited knowledge and impression of Tennessee is that the people are conservative and probably shy away from bad language.
     Would it be possible for you to take an acting class where you can learn the proper way to present yourself.

Look into a speech club on campus or Toastmasters.  Toastmaster members are usually businessmen who if you're smart you will be able to cultivate as contacts.  But don't be an ass and spout off shit right and left.  

Get some other interests besides gaming and music.  Join a book club, a movie club, something outside your comfort zone.  Just sit and listen for the first few meetings to see how the members act, speak, etc.  Then you can use this as a guide to making a bond with someone and then perhaps make a friend.

You don't have to be larger than life, in-your-face-angry.  Think about what you would like in a friend and then adopt those qualities for yourself.

I could go on, but the above suggestions are probably enough to keep you busy for a while.

Added:  Find a driving school if you need to learn to drive a car. 

['andersom']

Don't know anything to add to what the ladies before me said.

The good thing of starting at college (again) is that you will see people in a regulated setting. And, most of the others starting college will be new, and have no idea about their life at that moment either. So, being at a loss in the beginning doesn't stand out that much.

Go for that subject in college that has you most passionate. Getting into contact with others who are passionate about it too is a lot easier than just getting into contact with people.

And, if the transitional living program can't offer real support, they may be able to help you find the support that would be helpful to you in college. There may be more possible in college, because they probably have more bright autistic students that need some support. And they may be able to help you with your needs more than a regular program for youngsters on the spectrum.

I love CG's idea of showing your foster Mum that you appreciate her.

[Parts]

No much more to say  than what the others are saying.  Going back to school is a good bet on meeting others as well as learning new things which is always a plus in getting a job.  Sometimes i am amazed at what they teach in the independent living programs  or more specifically what they don't driving in most of the US is a vital skill and should be treated as such it's not like you live in NYC.  BTW I too am interested in what you are going to school for.  Good luck with it all and  for the effort

[Al Swearegen]

Move away from the shit that aggravates you and towards shit that is more palatable. College? Sure. Routine, the ability to get you out of the situation you are in? You should fucking jump at it. Drugs? I don't take them and think they are hit and miss at best.
Crappy at socialising. Deja vous. I think you don't need to be teh talk of the town but just learning to get others to open up and listen to them run their mouths is a good skill and also confidence in what you  say. Learn just enough to get by.

[Osensitive1]

Good luck, Pentagram. Not one to be good at advice, but do hope things pick up for you soon.

[Celticgoddess]

Do they offer social skills classes through your program? If they don't, look into the local autism chapter and start asking around.

[DukeNukem]

My major at college is Computer Information Systems - Network Administration, because I love to do computer-related stuff. I do probably need more interests, because my only ones right now are computers, gaming, and doom metal music. I don't know much about anything else. As far as autism support goes, there really isn't anything in my hometown for that. I dunno about joining a speech club, the problem is that I just cannot keep on talking, my mind goes blank easily.

As far as how I stopped going to college, I was put on financial aid suspension for inadequate progress. I appealed it, reasoning that my accident where I got hit by a car, the short-term injuries prevented me from going to campus, and my long-term depression affected my ability to concentrate. And after providing medical records from the general hospital, my appeal was approved and now I am on financial aid probation. I have to go to college full time and make a GPA above 2.0 for the Spring 2010 semester.

I hate writing essays and reports. And obviously, the classes I am gonna eventually have to take will involve those things. ARGH!

['andersom']

Can you go to another college? Where they will have some knowledge of autism?

[DukeNukem]

Can you go to another college? Where they will have some knowledge of autism?

I am in no position to move right now, but that seems like a good idea.

['andersom']

Can you go to another college? Where they will have some knowledge of autism?

I am in no position to move right now, but that seems like a good idea.

Maybe the lady of the transitional living program can help you out in finding a college that will be good for you, and help you with moving out too.
Wouldn't part of the grant be meant for the costs of moving and living?