Meadow. I've been following this thread for days now. You hate this site, and you hate most of the people who post on it, but yet you continue to post and then become upset at the replies you recieve. This is not healthy behaviour. I am begining to think that nobody on this site is going to be able to help you. I think, maybe it would be advisable for you to seek profesional help. It might help you to understand why you keep putting yourself through this. If ou aren't getting anything positive out of this site, why do you continue to post here?