Author Topic: Where's the beef?  (Read 415 times)

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Offline Icequeen

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Where's the beef?
« on: September 28, 2010, 09:43:41 PM »
Quote
Sep 28, 2010 8:05 pm US/Eastern Butler Man Allegedly Stuffs Meat Down Pants

An alleged shoplifter was caught stuffing meat down his pants.

Last Saturday afternoon, 41-year-old David Blake strolled casually into Friedman's Freshmarket on West Brady Street in Butler.

According to police, he had a hankering for a steak.

"Suspicious guy walking around the meat department," says one of the store's co-managers who spotted Blake right away.

Sauntering past the meat cooler, he must have missed the "No Shoplifting" sign at eye level. Blake allegedly scooped up a few prime cuts. "He actually put the steaks down his pants is actually where he put them," the co-manager said.

The store co-managers, who preferred not to be on camera, began their surveillance. "So I went into the slop room and I noticed that the gentleman had the steaks and had put them down his pants."

To be exact, he took four Delmonico steaks, one Bob Evans rolled sausage and a packet of disposable razors – all worth $33.88.

When Blake tried to bolt, the mother of five and grandmother of six didn't hesitate. She and her co-manager took Blake down outside the office.

"I just had to hold him down and tell him that he had to be still until the police got here," she said.

Police arrived in five minutes. Blake kept kicking until they put the cuffs on, then he gave them a bogus name.

It turns out he's wanted on a domestic relations warrant. Officers also say he was wearing no underwear.

"You have to stop them because it costs our customers money to replace even the few dollars that he took," the female co-manager said.

http://kdka.com/butler/butler.meat.shoplifter.2.1936720.html

Hope they at least repackaged those Delmonico's before they stuck them back on the shelf. :zombiefuck:

P7PSP

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2010, 09:49:32 PM »
 :LMAO: That is fucked up. I can't see wanting a steak that had a schlong rubbed on it.  :zombiefuck:

Offline Callaway

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2010, 10:20:43 PM »
Some people who worked in a grocery store told me shoplifters in grocery stores often try to shoplift steaks by sticking them down their pants.

 :duh:

Offline Peter

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2010, 03:23:26 AM »
:LMAO: That is fucked up. I can't see wanting a steak that had a schlong rubbed on it.  :zombiefuck:

They should put them on Ebay.  Someone, somewhere, wants a steak that's had a schlong rubbed on it.
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Offline Parts

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2010, 05:24:30 AM »
 :zombiefuck:

What is with the No Shoplifting sign mentioned I always thought that was a given
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Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2010, 06:18:08 AM »
:zombiefuck:

What is with the No Shoplifting sign mentioned I always thought that was a given

I'm sure it works like a charm!  :laugh:
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Offline RageBeoulve

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2010, 06:23:04 AM »
This is stupid enough to be real.
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They will always see that in my eyes.
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The_Chosen_One

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2010, 10:03:50 PM »
Thank Christ it wasn't a female trying to take home a dozen eggs.

Offline ProfessorFarnsworth

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2010, 10:18:00 PM »
Thank Christ it wasn't a female trying to take home a dozen eggs.

Or a whole chicken.
Existence actually has two broad meanings despite its apparent meaningless. The constant reconciliation of all its parts, and the conservation of any closed system as a whole.

Morality can be extrapolated from these meanings to make these two commandments of godless morality: 1). Be in harmony with one another and 2). Care for the environment.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2010, 10:45:19 PM »
Or ice cream.
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Offline renaeden

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Re: Where's the beef?
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2010, 10:50:17 PM »
I remember reading of a woman who fainted at a shopping centre. The people who stopped to help her found a frozen chicken under her hat. She must have been wearing a big hat!
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