Oh guys, I don't know where I was going.......or where I am going. I don't want people to be abused as kids or have it the way I had it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I guess, I learnt valuable lessons out of it too even if it royally fucked me up.
I was talking about resilience. I get really upset when people want to die because they don't know how to cope with hardship, because they were never taught, or weren't given the right tools to help themselves, because I know it feels to have no tools. I had to do years of therapy and meds just to stay alive because i didn't like myself very much and that is why I wanted to end it at times. In hospital, I was with a patient that had tried to cut his own throat and I remember wondering how depressed you would have to be to do that to yourself. So, I drank coffee with him on the secure ward and talked about stuff. he was a really nice guy but his life was filled with so much pain, I could understand why he wanted to die. I would never tell a person that it is not their right to take their own life, but I would certainly do my best to talk them out of it. Maybe this is naive, but sometimes all it takes is tell people that they matter for them to slowly build their way out of the pit. I mean they have to do their own work because it is all up to them, but I like people to know that they matter, even if I don't like them very much.
My sons father died on Xmas day 2008 from a drug overdose. At first we thought it was suicide but then the coroner ruled it accidental death from drug overdose. The stupid wanker took heroin with valium and antidepressants without thinking of the consequences. He was a slave to his addiction even though he was a born again christian and spent years in jail. Now my son has to live with that idea about his father even though they weren't close. I had to teach my son to be resilient so he didn't feel all fucked up about it.
The truth is that at times I am a hypocrite, I contradict myself, I am a really kind person but have the attitude of the alpha male of the pack, I try to be honest with myself at all times and take care of my own. I am a paradox.
I have no idea if any of that even answered your question Sensitive. My ADHD is ruling the roost today and my dyslexia comes out to play. I just don't have the cognitive stamina to try and work out my brain, but thanks for your input.
And steve-o I am sorry to hear about what happened to your wife. She sounds like a caring person with values.
I just want some common ground, is all.
Loup