I'm self-destructing

[Meadow]

A little bit, everyday.

[Meadow]

Isolation is causing me to go insane. I stopped counting how many years of isolation, now. When my stuff gets here, I will get busy with my creative work and disappear from forums. I'm breaking down mentally, more and more I'm noticing, and being around jerks and ass holes I'm sure doesn't help. Guess that's how I see people anymore when you break it down. I was raised with a lot of abuse. I shouldn't even still be alive, but here I am. I don't know how to relate to people on top of it all. I have PTSD and autism (AS) with sensory hypersensitivity, not good combination's. My life is screwed up major and I'm getting more pissed about it everyday.

[The_Chosen_One]

Someone I know told me anger is actually better than depression, because with anger you can let it all out, whereas depression bottles it all up. So feeling pissed and angry now and then releases the safety valve. Also, posting your feelings on forums as well vents the frustrations - never mind if there are dickheads that pooh-pooh what you have to say. There are plenty of good people around who will listen to what you have to say, and lots of them may be going through the same shit as well.

Hope whatever you decide to do works out.

[Meadow]

Very good points. Thank you for giving me something positive there to think on. I'm off to bed now, with that, it's late here, after 1am. Thanks for listening and for being there. It is very much appreciated. Have a good night, morning, day or whatever you are having where you are.

[Queen Victoria]

Meadow - I haven't been through what you have experienced. 

I have found that, for me, life is a series of infinite challenges. occurrences and opportunities.  So many times we let our bad times and experiences take on such a large part of our lives that we don't realize that the actual action that hurt us was only for a very short period of time.  The way we react to it and re-live it is astronomical compared to that brief period.  I hope you find a way to minimize the bad times and live more in whatever good times you may find. 

[Phlexor]

Smoke a joint.

[DukeNukem]

Smoke a joint.

This is bad advice. Don't do drugs, kiddies!

[Phlexor]

Smoke a joint.

This is bad advice. Don't do drugs, kiddies!

Cannabis has shown to help people suffering PTSD. It help you forget.

[SBI_Patience]

Smoke a joint.

This is bad advice. Don't do drugs, kiddies!

Cannabis has shown to help people suffering PTSD. It help you forget.

Really? But it would mean you would have to keep taking it in order for you to not feel that way?

[RageBeoulve]

Isolation is causing me to go insane. I stopped counting how many years of isolation, now. When my stuff gets here, I will get busy with my creative work and disappear from forums. I'm breaking down mentally, more and more I'm noticing, and being around jerks and ass holes I'm sure doesn't help. Guess that's how I see people anymore when you break it down. I was raised with a lot of abuse. I shouldn't even still be alive, but here I am. I don't know how to relate to people on top of it all. I have PTSD and autism (AS) with sensory hypersensitivity, not good combination's. My life is screwed up major and I'm getting more pissed about it everyday.

Do you feel yourself making connections in your head that most people would raise their eyebrows at?

[RageBeoulve]

I see you readin, you worried. Here, let me clarify this.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/29359.php

^Have a read of that and see if you think you'd ever been manic.

[Meadow]

Fuck!

Most of you are evidently rather sheltered and haven't a clue, but that isn't any surprise to me.

Smoking a joint didn't help and only made matters worse when I tried some, again, not too long ago.

[RageBeoulve]

Fuck!

Most of you are evidently rather sheltered and haven't a clue, but that isn't any surprise to me.

Smoking a joint didn't help and only made matters worse when I tried some, again, not too long ago.

I have no clue what you just tried to imply. If you mean smoking pot should help, the opposite is true.

[Meadow]

Fuck!

Most of you are evidently rather sheltered and haven't a clue, but that isn't any surprise to me.

Smoking a joint didn't help and only made matters worse when I tried some, again, not too long ago.

I have no clue what you just tried to imply. If you mean smoking pot should help, the opposite is true.

I said it didn't help when I tried some not long ago.

[Meadow]

I had a real bad dream last night I had to wake myself up from. Someone was raking razor wire across the back of my neck when I opened the door to knocking, with the help of someone who was encouraging me to in that life was about to turn around for me a be a lot better than it has been up to this point and who ever it was on the other side of the door knocking then started immediately on the back of my neck with the razor wire. Um, it hurt and scared the life out of me, was rocking 'til I woke myself up.

Anyway, it was just a bad dream.