Admitting to myself that I'm gay

[Peter]

I did't admit to myself that I was trans till I was 17

I think admitting it to yourself is actually the hardest thing
if you don't feel ok with telling your friend then just dont. maybe with time that will change, but there's no need to rush into tellig everyone if youre not sure about how theyll react. hopefully theyll react well tho.

I think you might be right about admitting it to yourself being the hardest bit. Deep down I always wanted to do the whole normal life thing, get married and have a couple of kids. I've always loved babies and I've alqways got on really well with young kids. I find them easier to get along with than adults. I really wanted to be a mum someday. Admitting this to myself means admitting to myself that none of that is likely to happen.
I definately won't be rushing into telling people in my town. There's an openly gay couple and a guy that everyone says is gay but he isn't "out." The gay couple were bullied out of their house, and the guy who might be gay can't walk down the street without having kids shout abuse at him. His windows have been smashed aswell and his car tyres have been slashed a lot of times.
This is a very religious town, and very homophobic. I like to be anonymous, but if I were to be openly gay I would be the talk of the town. Everyone would know who I am. The thought of dealing with what those other people have had to deal with makes me pretty sure I'll keep this a secret as long as I can.

I grew up in a small town in Ayrshire, and although I was too young at the time to notice, my mum hated all the gossiping that went on about her marriage problems with my dad.  When I was 8, my parents divorced and I moved to an even smaller village with my mum, and although I don't think there was gossip about marriage issues, there was still an uncomfortable 'everyone in everyone else's business' feeling to the place.  I wouldn't want to be known as being different in any small town or village, religious or not.  Things are better now that we live in a suburb just outside of Glasgow; people mostly mind their own business and it's easy to be fairly anonymous here.

[Celticgoddess]

"You need to live out your own truth, whatever that may be"

That's something I try to live by. When you make peace with yourself, it makes the journey a lot easier, no matter what path you're on.

["couldbecousin"]

I don't think I could adopt. I think they have some kind of psychological test for people who want to adopt. I would certainly fail. If I ever was in a gay relationship and still living in this country I don't think it would be fair to have children anyway, the abuse they'd be subjected to in school would probably be horrendous. It wouldn't be right of me to put anybody through that.
I knoiw I could never raise a child by myself. The only way I could bring up a child properly would be if I had a partner who was for more sensible and responsible than myself.

I hate to sound cliched, but you are still very young, and your future might work out better than you can imagine it today. 

[Lemon Aguilera]

nothing matters but who you love and how. forget what your family thinks. good on you for being "straight" with yourself.

as for adoption. i'd choose to have gay parents if that meant i would get open minded caring parents. don't sell your kids short.

["couldbecousin"]

nothing matters but who you love and how. forget what your family thinks. good on you for being "straight" with yourself.

as for adoption. i'd choose to have gay parents if that meant i would get open minded caring parents. don't sell your kids short.

  Most kids get picked on for one thing or another by their bitchy little peers;
 if they have strong support elsewhere (from a wonderful mum, for instance), they can get through it OK.

[Lemon Aguilera]

we tend to think what good are we, but really, there are kids who need parents who love them. don't care about being gay. i was picked on, i didn't have gay parents. if you get picked on you do, what you need is a strong home that supports you. you're not who gets your kids picked on, it's society. if you teach your kids to be accepting and smart and wise, you've done your job. that's what i'd ask of my parents.

[Natalia Evans]

You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.

[Adam]

she's whatever she identifies as. if that's gay then she's gay

['Butterflies']

You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.

I didn't know that. I am a very happy person, so I suppose that makes me a gay lesbian

[Celticgoddess]

You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.

I didn't know that. I am a very happy person, so I suppose that makes me a gay lesbian

Wow. See what happens when you leave home? Now you're twice as gay you thought you were.

Btw, you can say gay/lesbian it doesn't really matter.

[Natalia Evans]

Wouldn't it be the same as calling a waitress a waiter or a waiter a waitress or a widow a widower or a widower a widow?

[Osensitive1]

Can't argue with good old semantics. Kit has a point.

[El]

I thought 'gay' was a unisex term.

[Celticgoddess]

I thought 'gay' was a unisex term.

Agreed. Over time it has come to mean more than one thing.

['andersom']

"You need to live out your own truth, whatever that may be"

That's something I try to live by. When you make peace with yourself, it makes the journey a lot easier, no matter what path you're on.

QFT