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Author Topic: Ungrateful I Know  (Read 1210 times)

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Offline Silk

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Ungrateful I Know
« on: September 15, 2006, 08:34:17 PM »
I went out to IHOP and as my mom and I were waiting for the check to come, the waitress came by and told us some guy paid for our meals. He did it for another table of two women beside us too. My mom just shrugged. I think she was too tired to protest, but it creeped me out. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that someone did it without asking, or that he had already left so I couldn't figure out why he did it or who it was. I'm pretty sure it was the guy sitting at a table on the other side of the wood panel. Old guy with so much hair gell in his hair that it was flaking really badly. From this one act I know that some guy was looking at us, and it creeps me out. My mom laughed at me for being so paranoid.
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George:I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation beget disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C Equals A, or whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law

Offline McGiver

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2006, 09:24:11 PM »
maybe it was just some person, paying it forward.
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Misunderstood.

Offline lilia

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2006, 09:25:48 PM »
My dad used to do that sometimes after my mom died, when he saw families that looked happy to him.  I'm not sure what his reasoning behind it was, but it seemed to make him happy.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2006, 10:04:48 PM »
Quote from: McJagger on September 15, 2006, 09:24:11 PM
maybe it was just some person, paying it forward.

I liked that movie, but I cried like a baby when the kid got stabbed at the end and they had all those candles for him.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2006, 10:07:15 PM »
Obviously, if he had already left, he did not want anything from you and your mother.  He probably just wanted to be nice in his own way.

Aeval, when did your mom die?
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Offline lilia

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2006, 10:08:12 PM »
Quote from: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:07:15 PM
Obviously, if he had already left, he did not want anything from you and your mother.  He probably just wanted to be nice in his own way.

Aeval, when did your mom die?

Nine years ago.  She had a lot of birth defects that eventually resulted in the failure of her heart / liver / kidneys.  It's why I was adopted.  She couldn't have kids.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2006, 10:14:25 PM »
I am sorry about your mom, Aeval.  My mom died almost four years ago of a heart attack.  My daughter was born with a lot of birth defects too, but I hope that they don't shorten her life.  My daughter was born with VACTERL syndrome.   She had a hole in her heart and other heart problems, but these were fixed when she was three weeks old.  She has congenital scoliosis because some of her vertebrae are messed up and she has renal reflux, along with some other less serious physical problems.
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Offline lilia

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2006, 10:18:42 PM »
I'm sorry, Callaway.  How is your daughter doing now?  Does she seem like she's a happy child?

I know my mother always completely enjoyed life, no matter how bad she was feeling.  I think having gone through what she did, she was more able to see the value of it than most of us are. 

I do think your daughter will be in a much healthier state than my mother was as an adult though.  The medical advances that we've had in the past 30 - 50 years seem to have advanced the quality of life quite a bit.  From what I remember, my mother was born on a kitchen table and not taken to the hospital for treatment til she was extremely sick and not breathing well.  Maybe if she had been treated sooner, the issues wouldn't have developed as much as they did.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2006, 10:37:06 PM »
I think she is reasonably happy.  She sometimes notices that she seems to have more problems and take more medicine than other children do, so she has asked about that.  She may need surgery to fix her renal reflux and her scoliosis, which I wonder if she would be able to handle, especially the scoliosis surgery because she would need to be in a halo vest for a couple of months after that surgery.  She has autism, not AS, so she has pretty severe sensory issues and she has very little impulse control, although she is very smart in many ways.  We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.
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Offline lilia

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2006, 10:40:29 PM »
Quote from: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:37:06 PM
We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.

I'd call that quite smart.  Is she able to adequately communicate her discomfort when she experiences it? 

My son is 14, so I can relate to the powerful need to do everything you can to ensure your child has the best life possible.  From what I know of you so far, you seem as if you would be a very good mother.  Your daughter is lucky in that respect.
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Offline QuirkyCarla

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2006, 10:49:28 PM »
Quote from: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:04:48 PM
Quote from: McJagger on September 15, 2006, 09:24:11 PM
maybe it was just some person, paying it forward.

I liked that movie, but I cried like a baby when the kid got stabbed at the end and they had all those candles for him.

Ditto.
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Offline QuirkyCarla

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2006, 10:53:25 PM »
Quote from: Aeval on September 15, 2006, 10:40:29 PM
Quote from: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:37:06 PM
We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.

I'd call that quite smart.  Is she able to adequately communicate her discomfort when she experiences it? 

My son is 14, so I can relate to the powerful need to do everything you can to ensure your child has the best life possible.  From what I know of you so far, you seem as if you would be a very good mother.  Your daughter is lucky in that respect.

Whoa...I didn't know you had a son...and he's only a year younger than my sister!  :o
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Offline lilia

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2006, 10:56:52 PM »
Quote from: QuirkyCarla on September 15, 2006, 10:53:25 PM
Whoa...I didn't know you had a son...and he's only a year younger than my sister!  :o

He and I don't actually look that much different in age now.  It's scary.  The school has told me to have his mother come back to pick him up before because they thought I was his sister.

He was born when I was 19.  He's a good kid - we basically grew up together.  He takes care of me as much as I take care of him.
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Offline QuirkyCarla

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2006, 10:58:55 PM »
awwww  :)
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Offline Callaway

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Re: Ungrateful I Know
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2006, 11:08:51 PM »
Quote from: Aeval on September 15, 2006, 10:40:29 PM
Quote from: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:37:06 PM
We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.

I'd call that quite smart.  Is she able to adequately communicate her discomfort when she experiences it? 

My son is 14, so I can relate to the powerful need to do everything you can to ensure your child has the best life possible.  From what I know of you so far, you seem as if you would be a very good mother.  Your daughter is lucky in that respect.

Yes, I have almost always been able to understand her, even when others could not.  No matter how much I explained the purpose of the braces, she could not bear wearing them all night.  I even tried sneaking into her room after she fell asleep and putting them on her very carefully, but she would wake up and take them off a little later.  She has always been a little Houdini.  She nearly drove us crazy stripping off all her clothes and her diaper when she was a baby.  Every time I thought I had outsmarted her in the quest to keep her diapered, she would figure out another way to strip.  She could undo diaper pins at eight months old, and she could slip her whole body through the neck of a turtleneck bodyshirt.  It was worst when I put her to bed, because she would never go to sleep if I checked on her.  She finally got big enough to reason with and we made a deal:  She could sleep in just a diaper, but she needed to keep it on.

I think you must be a very good mother for your son as well.
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