Ask Butterfly a question

[TheoK]

 

[Blasted]

Do you need rescuing from the pervs on here?

[TheoK]

Being a perv is 

['Butterflies']

Do you need rescuing from the pervs on here?

It's OK, They're pretty tame. I get much worse at home. I think it's just Lit's way of being friendly

[TheoK]

 

["couldbecousin"]

Will you give me your anal virginity? 

Why not! 

Such a positive attitude!

[Scrapheap]

But don't guys ever hit on you?? If your avie is an accurate pic of how you look IRL, I'd try to get down your pants.

I'm not proud to admit it ,but that's the best offer I've had in about 6 months
In the past guys would try and talk to me but I didn't know how to respond so I ended up not saying much. I've been told by people that I came accross as stuck up and not interested. I'm really nothing like that but I just don't know how to talk to people. I never thought it would be a good idea to go out with a guy I'd just met.  The relationships I have had were all set up by my friend and she explained my "eccentricities" to the guys. Even then I was just too weird and too much hard work for the relationship to last.
Since moving to N.Ireland I've lost touch with my friends and I've became very introverted. I only go places I have to go, so I don't meet anyone at all now.

The danger that you face here, is that by being so standoffish, only the most agressive jerks will make it through. Learning how to open up, while still having good boundaries, will allow you a better choice of who to go, out with. 

[RageBeoulve]

^ Listen to this man. He speaks wisdom.

['Butterflies']

The danger that you face here, is that by being so standoffish, only the most agressive jerks will make it through. Learning how to open up, while still having good boundaries, will allow you a better choice of who to go, out with.

TBH I never realized I was being standoffish. People have said similar things to me IRL and some folk even think I'm unfriendly, and everyone who doesn't know me well thinks I'm a total snob. Thing is though, I'm really not like that at all. I always try to be friendly. It's just that I'm terrified of people and I don't think I even know how to have a conversation with someone I don't already know. I think it sometimes appears to people that I don't want to talk to them, but really I just can't talk to them, even though I really want to.
When I was 4 I met my best friend and she was the total opposite of me. She was really outgoing and able to speak to everybody so easily. She made friends all the time and these people became my friends as well. She also set me up with the guys I went out with. When I moved away from Scotland she took it quite badly and I haven't seen her since and she doesn't really speak to me much over the internet.
It had never occured to me before, but I realized sincw I met her I haven't managed to make 1 friend by myself. Now that I've moved away the only person I know who's of a similar age is my slightly more aspie cousin and he has similar problems to me so I don't get the chance to meet people through him.
Boundaries have always been a bit of a difficult issue for me. One minute I can leave a bunch of people dumbstruck by casually discussing something that's very personal, and the next minute I'm too shy to even say hello to someone.

[Mr Smith]

I like your pic. Not many people could pull off looking so good with pink hair!

What are the main struggles you've found through having aspergers?
What is your ideal idea of a Friday night?

['Butterflies']

I like your pic. Not many people could pull off looking so good with pink hair!

Thanks, my friend sayed she'd dye it black for me but she put that colour without me knowing. I ended up loving it though.

What are the main struggles you've found through having aspergers?

I was young when I was diagnosed and I never had any further help with my AS so I'm not really sure what problems are caused by AS and what problems aare unrelated to AS. TBH I don't know all that much about it. I've lived most of my life in denial. I kind of thought if I ignored the problem I'd just end normal.
The biggest problem that I'm sure is caused by AS is with communication. I have no problem understanding things, but I have big  problems explaining them to other people. I always end up looking stupid.
I have quite a few other problems that cause me bigger problems, but I'm not sure how much they're related to AS.
I've developed a really bad social phobia. I could never initiate a conversation with someone I don't already know and I end up almost in a panic if someone speaks to me. If I do end up speaking to someone I don't know how to have a proper conversation with them. It's not just fear that stops me speaking to people, I really don't know how to do conversation. It's weird, I sometimes have to meet people for business reasons and I have no problem appearing professional and OK at what I do, but as soon as the conversation becomes social instead of business I immediately sound like a 12 year old.
I also have major issues with touch and body space. I know that's seen as an aspie thing, but I never had those issues at all untill I was about 14 and they started with a fairly minor incedent. Now they've became totally out of control and I can't bear the thought of sleeping with someone, so that makes relationships very hard. If someone even stands too close to me it makes me uncomfortable.

What is your ideal idea of a Friday night?

I really loved going out to a club or a pub, but only with people I knew well. I loved getting really drunk and dancing all night, but only if I knew there was people to get me out of any awkward situations. Since I moved away I don't do any of that anymore. It's a a shame really. It's one of the things I miss most about being back home.

[RageBeoulve]

I like your pic. Not many people could pull off looking so good with pink hair!

Thanks, my friend sayed she'd dye it black for me but she put that colour without me knowing. I ended up loving it though.

What are the main struggles you've found through having aspergers?

I was young when I was diagnosed and I never had any further help with my AS so I'm not really sure what problems are caused by AS and what problems aare unrelated to AS. TBH I don't know all that much about it. I've lived most of my life in denial. I kind of thought if I ignored the problem I'd just end normal.
The biggest problem that I'm sure is caused by AS is with communication. I have no problem understanding things, but I have big  problems explaining them to other people. I always end up looking stupid.
I have quite a few other problems that cause me bigger problems, but I'm not sure how much they're related to AS.
I've developed a really bad social phobia. I could never initiate a conversation with someone I don't already know and I end up almost in a panic if someone speaks to me. If I do end up speaking to someone I don't know how to have a proper conversation with them. It's not just fear that stops me speaking to people, I really don't know how to do conversation. It's weird, I sometimes have to meet people for business reasons and I have no problem appearing professional and OK at what I do, but as soon as the conversation becomes social instead of business I immediately sound like a 12 year old.
I also have major issues with touch and body space. I know that's seen as an aspie thing, but I never had those issues at all untill I was about 14 and they started with a fairly minor incedent. Now they've became totally out of control and I can't bear the thought of sleeping with someone, so that makes relationships very hard. If someone even stands too close to me it makes me uncomfortable.

What is your ideal idea of a Friday night?

I really loved going out to a club or a pub, but only with people I knew well. I loved getting really drunk and dancing all night, but only if I knew there was people to get me out of any awkward situations. Since I moved away I don't do any of that anymore. It's a a shame really. It's one of the things I miss most about being back home.

Sex ain't all that big of a deal babe. I think your problem is that you're building it up to be a lot more than it really is. Anyway, I have lived most of my life as an nt, but a weird nt . I didn't know I even has AS till about a year ago.

I wonder how I would have ended up if I was diagnosed early on?

[Mr Smith]

I like your pic. Not many people could pull off looking so good with pink hair!

Thanks, my friend sayed she'd dye it black for me but she put that colour without me knowing. I ended up loving it though. [/qute]

I would freak if someone did that to me. It would also look cool with coontails in it, I'm tempted to photoshop different colours in your hair now, haha.

I was young when I was diagnosed and I never had any further help with my AS so I'm not really sure what problems are caused by AS and what problems aare unrelated to AS. TBH I don't know all that much about it. I've lived most of my life in denial. I kind of thought if I ignored the problem I'd just end normal.
The biggest problem that I'm sure is caused by AS is with communication. I have no problem understanding things, but I have big  problems explaining them to other people. I always end up looking stupid.

I can relate to that, its really annoying. Also not dwelling on the diagnosis is a good thing, and can help in the process of learning to be normal.

I have quite a few other problems that cause me bigger problems, but I'm not sure how much they're related to AS.
I've developed a really bad social phobia. I could never initiate a conversation with someone I don't already know and I end up almost in a panic if someone speaks to me. If I do end up speaking to someone I don't know how to have a proper conversation with them. It's not just fear that stops me speaking to people, I really don't know how to do conversation. It's weird, I sometimes have to meet people for business reasons and I have no problem appearing professional and OK at what I do, but as soon as the conversation becomes social instead of business I immediately sound like a 12 year old.
I also have major issues with touch and body space. I know that's seen as an aspie thing, but I never had those issues at all untill I was about 14 and they started with a fairly minor incedent. Now they've became totally out of control and I can't bear the thought of sleeping with someone, so that makes relationships very hard. If someone even stands too close to me it makes me uncomfortable.

It sounds like your touch and space thing might be OCD related as well, which is common to develop for aspies. Social interaction is a big one though. I'm very inappropriate, half the time I don't even know until I see peoples reactions :S

I really loved going out to a club or a pub, but only with people I knew well. I loved getting really drunk and dancing all night, but only if I knew there was people to get me out of any awkward situations. Since I moved away I don't do any of that anymore. It's a a shame really. It's one of the things I miss most about being back home.

  Its more fun when it's people you're comfortable around too. Dancing is great, you can just lose and be who you really are.

['Butterflies']

Its more fun when it's people you're comfortable around too. Dancing is great, you can just lose and be who you really are.

My friends taught me how to dance, and before we went out they would dress me up in my friends clothes and put make-up on and do my hair nice. Because of the loud music I knew I wasn't going to have to speak to people. It was one of the few things that I done where I managed to appear normal. I only really done it once or twice a month but that was enough for me. I could never have done it twice a week like other people I knew. If I had a long night I would spend most of the next day in bed.

It sounds like your touch and space thing might be OCD related as well, which is common to develop for aspies.

I'd never thought of the touch and space problem as OCD before, but I do have a few symptoms. I check if the doors are locked about 5 times before I go to bed, and embarrasingly if I'm in the back seat of a car, almost every time it stops I have to open the door and slam it shut just to make sure it's shut properly. That bugs the hell out of my uncle. I get some funny comments if I'm in somebodys car who doesn't know me well. I sit there for ages trying not to do it but eventually it builds up and I have to check it .

Sex ain't all that big of a deal babe. I think your problem is that you're building it up to be a lot more than it really is.

It's not sex that's the problem. It's the intimacy that bothers me. If there was a way to have sex with someone without being in the same room as them I could very easily become a raging nympho.

["couldbecousin"]

Its more fun when it's people you're comfortable around too. Dancing is great, you can just lose and be who you really are.

My friends taught me how to dance, and before we went out they would dress me up in my friends clothes and put make-up on and do my hair nice. Because of the loud music I knew I wasn't going to have to speak to people. It was one of the few things that I done where I managed to appear normal. I only really done it once or twice a month but that was enough for me. I could never have done it twice a week like other people I knew. If I had a long night I would spend most of the next day in bed.

It sounds like your touch and space thing might be OCD related as well, which is common to develop for aspies.

I'd never thought of the touch and space problem as OCD before, but I do have a few symptoms. I check if the doors are locked about 5 times before I go to bed, and embarrasingly if I'm in the back seat of a car, almost every time it stops I have to open the door and slam it shut just to make sure it's shut properly. That bugs the hell out of my uncle. I get some funny comments if I'm in somebodys car who doesn't know me well. I sit there for ages trying not to do it but eventually it builds up and I have to check it .

Sex ain't all that big of a deal babe. I think your problem is that you're building it up to be a lot more than it really is.

It's not sex that's the problem. It's the intimacy that bothers me. If there was a way to have sex with someone without being in the same room as them I could very easily become a raging nympho.

  That is a very funny concept, and one that may become reality in the future!