Ask Butterfly a question

[Frolic_Fun]

I wish nasty STDs upon all the bitches and bastards who bullied you.

Thanks. I don't wish ill on most of the people who bullied me. I met a few of the girls who done it quite recently and they were very aapologetic and they said they were ashamed of what they done. I've done some crappy things myself when I was a kid. The only person I still hold a grudge against is the guy who started the rumour because it was a total lie and he admited in private to me that he only done it to embarrass me, and every time the name calling looked like it was dying down he would start it up again and make sure everybody remembered it. I do hope something really nasty happens to him.

Meh, it's just the way most teenagers go. I had everything from rumours of being gay to having sex with dogs. Didn't really give a shite.

Trying to convince everyone that *ehemm* down below is nice and shiny would make them more believe it's smelly, even though it's not. If they actually care about something as silly as that, then would they be the people you care about? Far important things to worry about than whether there's a brown trout down there or not, or whoever says whether you do or not.

['Butterflies']

You get the picture right? What pisses me off is that these kind of people seem to be getting something out of doing this kind of shit, which strikes me as pure fucking evil. If i'm a witness to this, i'll usually charge in and fight over it.

I'm kind of the same. Before it all started, if I saw someone being bullied I'd just ignore it and not get involved, but since it happened to me I find it hard to ignore bullying and always end up defending the person who's being picked on. Even if I don't like the person and even if it makes me more unpopular.
I don't think that all the people who were involved were evil. It was just one person who couldn't cope with rejection and the only way he could deal with it was to humiliate me as much as he possibly could, and he knew the exact things to say about me that would cause the most humiliation. He was one of the popular guys at school and he'd slept with a few of the girls, so when it came down to my word against his everyone just believed him. For the rest of my time at school his goal seemed to be to make me as unpopular as possible. I think everyone else who was involved just thought it was really funny. He was the only one that was really evil. I know it's not nice to gloat but from what I've heard his life seems to be a total wreck. I've seen him wandering around town a few times in early afternoon off his face with his bottle of Buckfast. People who know him have told me he's heavily into heroin aswell. When he was at school I have to admit he was quite good looking, but now he looks like a walking corpse.

If they actually care about something as silly as that, then would they be the people you care about?

It's not that I cared about any of them, or that I wanted to be friends with them. I didn't like the name calling annd nasty comments but I cold cope with them. I hated it when someone picked a fight with me and everyone would stand in a circle round us and watch me get beat up and if I tried to run away they would block me and not let me leave. If I fought back and hurt the other person then others would jump in and beat me up anyway.

[RageBeoulve]

Looks to me like you've been scarred by trauma. The only cure is figuring out a way to face it, then follow through.

['Butterflies']

Looks to me like you've been scarred by trauma. The only cure is figuring out a way to face it, then follow through.

That's true. The obvious way would be to go out and get blind drunk and invite a few guys back to the house . I know I have to deal with my intmacy issues if I ever want to have a proper relationship, and I'd love to have a baby one day but I realize making one might be hard given my fear of intimacy. Before I could consider having a relationship though I need to deal with my social phobia issues. I can't expect to meet someone when I'm too scared to even have a conversation with someone. The first thing I need to do is try and fix that problem. That's why I'm posting on this site. It's my way of trying to overcome my fear of talking to people. I'm hoping that if I can get over my fear of posting on here then it might be the first step towards being able to talk to people IRL. Believe it or not I find posting here very scary, and I'd probably have a panic attack if I were to try to start a thread, so I'm going to try and do that sometime quite soon. I do know how fucked up that sounds, but I definately feel that I need to get over my fear of speaking to people before I attempt anything more serious.
I'm beginning to think I've got enough phobias and hang-ups and issues to keep a shrink occupied for years

[Mr Smith]

I was about 14 and I never had any problem with touch. I went out drinking with some friends and we met some people from my school. I walked to the shop with one of the guys from my school. I hhardly knew him. He tried it on with me but I told him to fuck off. I thought that was the end of it but he went into school and started spreading nasty rumours about me. At my school just about the worst insult to give to a girl was to say she has a smelly pussy. The guy told everyone that I tried to have sex with him but he refused me because I was too smelly down there. It was complete lies. I've always had good hygiene, and I would never have slept with him anyway. I was amazed when everyone believed him. I had been bullied quite a lot before then, but after that it reached a new level. I got the nickname Miss Fishy.  It's quite funny now but it was horrible at the time. Any time anyone stood near me they would make a nasty comment. Some of the girls even became qquite violent towards me. I'd done well at school up untill then but I ended up leaving at 15 without any quallifications. Ever since then I've felt really awkward when anyone enters my personal space, and as the years have passed it has snowballed to become a bigger problem.

He should have been punished for that. When people say shit about me thats true is still rude but more acceptable. That would make me want to rn over him with a bulldozer. I hope someone broke some of his bones.

[Mr Smith]

It was just one person who couldn't cope with rejection and the only way he could deal with it was to humiliate me as much as he possibly could, and he knew the exact things to say about me that would cause the most humiliation.

Sounds like jman 

Guy sounds like a toss you're involved with. I know the type. They think they're gods gift to women and when one person proves to them that they aren't, they can't handle it. They're a fucking pathetic waste of oxygen, and weak.

Did I meantion WEAK?

[Frolic_Fun]

Plenty of Jman types around, sadly. I had to endure one in college who tried to chat up a few women (badly) and claims to be a "nice guy" with an IQ of 180:



He likes to travel fast though.

['Butterflies']

He should have been punished for that. When people say shit about me thats true is still rude but more acceptable. That would make me want to rn over him with a bulldozer. I hope someone broke some of his bones.

I spent ages feeling really angry and resentful towards him but it never helped. It just made me unhappy. I don't think anybody needs to punish him. He seems to be determined to destroy himself. My sister still lives in the area and every so often I get an update on how he's doing. I know it's mean but I do get some pleasure out of finding out how bad his life is. I might still be angry if he'd gone on and made a decent life for himself, but he's so pathetic nowadays it hardly seems worth bothering about him.

Guy sounds like a toss you're involved with.

He was a total toss, although I was never involved with him. I was drinking with a group of my friends when we met a few guys from my school and I ended up walkig to the shop with him. TBH I'd always found him a bit creepy in school and had made a point of trying to avoid him, even before all of that started.

[Eclair]

I spent ages feeling really angry and resentful towards him but it never helped. It just made me unhappy. I don't think anybody needs to punish him. He seems to be determined to destroy himself. My sister still lives in the area and every so often I get an update on how he's doing. I know it's mean but I do get some pleasure out of finding out how bad his life is.

Every time you see someone try to be an asshole to you, with no reason, it shows you the true state of their self esteem....and that knowledge can give you power.

That doesn't mean you have to take advantage of it, but once you understand people's deeper motivations, and not take their shitty comments and actions on board as a reflection of yourself, life seems to get a bit simpler.

That's not to say it isn't easy. But you will become better at recognising it for what it is over time.

I think the fact his life has fucked up is evidence of his very low self esteem and inability to take control of his life, so he deflects shit onto others to make himself feel better.

[RageBeoulve]

Nice. Like the choice of example, Eclair.

['Butterflies']

Every time you see someone try to be an asshole to you, with no reason, it shows you the true state of their self esteem....and that knowledge can give you power.

That doesn't mean you have to take advantage of it, but once you understand people's deeper motivations, and not take their shitty comments and actions on board as a reflection of yourself, life seems to get a bit simpler.

That's not to say it isn't easy. But you will become better at recognising it for what it is over time.

I think the fact his life has fucked up is evidence of his very low self esteem and inability to take control of his life, so he deflects shit onto others to make himself feel better.

You're right about that. It wasn't just me he picked on. He was probably the biggest bully in my year. I could never understand why so many girls fancied him.

[RageBeoulve]

Every time you see someone try to be an asshole to you, with no reason, it shows you the true state of their self esteem....and that knowledge can give you power.

That doesn't mean you have to take advantage of it, but once you understand people's deeper motivations, and not take their shitty comments and actions on board as a reflection of yourself, life seems to get a bit simpler.

That's not to say it isn't easy. But you will become better at recognising it for what it is over time.

I think the fact his life has fucked up is evidence of his very low self esteem and inability to take control of his life, so he deflects shit onto others to make himself feel better.

You're right about that. It wasn't just me he picked on. He was probably the biggest bully in my year. I could never understand why so many girls fancied him.

Cause children are ignorant.

He was indeed a bully because he had some terrible secret that made him feel bad about himself.

Again though, I say you need to find a situation or set up one suited to overcoming your phobia, and go ahead and face it head on. Only way to overcome stuff like that to my knowledge.

['Butterflies']

Again though, I say you need to find a situation or set up one suited to overcoming your phobia, and go ahead and face it head on. Only way to overcome stuff like that to my knowledge.

That's what I'm doing on this site. There's no point in trying to overcome my intimacy problem without first trying to sort out my social phobia. I find it very hard to talk to people in real life. If I say something stupid on here I know it won't affect me IRL. Some people advised me to try speaking on the internet as a first step towards being able to speak to people face to face.

[RageBeoulve]

Well thats my face right there. Lets talk. 

[Mr Smith]

He was a total toss, although I was never involved with him. I was drinking with a group of my friends when we met a few guys from my school and I ended up walkig to the shop with him. TBH I'd always found him a bit creepy in school and had made a point of trying to avoid him, even before all of that started.

Sorry I should have worded that better - I meant the guy involved in the situation.