This be an anecdote explainin' da mannah in which mah motha fuckin' way o' life wuz rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from dat which it started. If I could gots 60 seconds o' yo time, simply place yo posterior in da selected location, an' I will relate to choo da details o' how I wuz made da male monarch o' da district o' da City o' Los Angeles, California located at coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778.
In da western region o' da “City o' Brotherly Love” known as Philadelphia, mah motha fuckin' mothah expelled meh from hah womb an' indeed dat be also where I spent mah motha fuckin' childhood, in mah motha fuckin' mother’s care. da majority o' mah motha fuckin' time wuz spent in a recreational area containin' such diversions as a jungle gym, swin' set, sand box, etc. I wuz typically at da height o' leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below wut might be considered standard room temperature. Outside o' mah motha fuckin' educational institution I wuz engagin' in a game o' basketball wit sum o' mah motha fuckin' peers, when two gentlemen who seemed to be o' da disposition to cause a great deal o' mischief began causin' a great deal o' chaos an' disharmony in da area in which I lived. I wuz involved in one rathah small bout o' fisticuffs aftah which mah motha fuckin' mothah became concerned fo mah motha fuckin' general safety an' well-being, an' she informed meh dat I would be movin' in wit hah sistah an' hah sister’s husband in da previously mentioned community located at da previously mentioned location.
I implored mah motha fuckin' mothah to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago, yet she gathered mah motha fuckin' belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece o' luggage an' expelled meh from hah presence. She placed hah lips upon mah motha fuckin' cheek in an affectionate mannah an' handed meh a pre-purchased pass fo public transportation. I placed da headphones fo mah motha fuckin' personal Rap system into mah motha fuckin' ears an' verbalized da idea dat I may as well impact this situation wit mah motha fuckin' foot. Travelin' in da highest available level o' comfort, this be indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement wit sum irony). Consumin' da juices obtained by da squeezin' o' da fruit o' a Citrus sinensis from a piece o' glass stemware commonly reserved fo da sippin' o' sparklin' wine originatin' from da Champagne region o' France, I pause to wondah if this be indeed how da residents o' da admittedly upper-class hood located at da previously mentioned location commonly live. Indeed, I find this situation may be rathah to mah motha fuckin' enjoyment.
I puckered mah motha fuckin' lips an' exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in ordah to gain da attention o' a taxicab driver, an' as da drivah approached I observed his California vanity plate which, in place o' da traditional jumble o' alpha-numeric characters, used only da lettaz F, R, E, S, an' H, spellin' out da word “fresh”. Additionally, from his rear view mirror dangled a pair o' over-sized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like da six-sided dice commonly used in gamblin' an' board games. In such a situation I could gots made a statement about da unusualness o' this particular taxicab to da point o' it bein' nearly unique. Instead I cognitively decided against it an' instead informed da drivah dat he best delivah meh to wut wuz to become mah motha fuckin' new crib in da community located at da previously mentioned location.
me n' mah niggahs pulled up to a large domicile sometime between da hours o' 7 an' 8 o’clock a.m., an' in a loud tone o' voice I informed da cab drivah dat at sum undetermined point in da future I would again detect his odour through mah motha fuckin' sense o' olfaction. I gazed about da region o' land dat I wuz destined to rule, reflectin' on mah motha fuckin' arrival: Here I would claim mah motha fuckin' rightful place upon da throne, from which I would govern da previously mentioned community o' Bel-Air as monarch.
