Did you take your meds today?

[sg1008]

oh! i have nice update!

So, something happens to me, makes me hear things and feel like nothing exists but pain -

dunno what happens but i have a really nice psychiatrist and she has worked with me and my aversion to medication, and FINALLY ive been on a good regime for several months now. i take a smallish/medium dose of an antipsychotic, and i take a chemical variant of adderall, and im good. the downside to everything is that i started vaping 1 year ago (nicotine) to deal with school shite. and recently i started vaping (THC) at night to deal with the "nothing exists but pain" sensation that comes on from school shite stress.

so school is probably not healthy for me.

but maybe i will make it.

at least, i take my proper meds everyday, and try to do less vaping when i am doing better.

i am pretty pleased with my proper regime

and yes, took my meds today ^_^

[renaeden]

Wow! It's good to see you again!

Did you used to smoke before you started vaping? How much school do you have left?

I hope you stay. It's fairly quiet here.

[sg1008]

No, i had smoked years before for very short periods, mostly in the company of a girl who was not actually a very good friend lol.

I have about 2 years left, give or take. Depends on how quickly I can get through my remaining milestones. Technically, I would graduate on time in 2025, but I know it will take me at least until 2026. Had some snafus, like my former advisor abandoning me - but i have a good advisor now.

I hope i stay around! might take some breaks when I have a lot of work to do, but its nice to be back

Also! Took my morning meds today! Going to the pharmacy later cause i need a refill.

[renaeden]

Reminds me of my time at uni. Instead of doing the practical unit for psychology (which scared me shitless when I saw what was involved) I opted for an independent study contract which took months to organise. Lots of writing emails to professors asking them to take me on. Finally, one said yes but I had to wait a semester. So I had six months off twiddling my thumbs. And I didn't graduate with my class.

I also need to go to the pharmacy. Need moclobemide.

[sg1008]

made it to the pharmacy, and took my evening med!

yeah i reckon i lost about 6 months with all the stuff that went down with my former advisor. my current advisor is much better... i still struggle with her not understanding that differences in my communication, and the amount of question i ask before making a decision on something, are part of how i process the world around me. she keeps saying i have to work on "self-awareness" as if becoming "aware" of how awkward I am will suddenly make me able to be less awkward. she doesnt understand that i am well "aware" of the awkwardness, i just cant change how i fundementally connect with information or the world. i try my best to be kind and respectful, and do the little things that make people "aware" that I am listening to them and care about them, but i will always violate some rule of interaction somewhere. its inevitable.

*sigh* but at least im moving along. i dont know what kind of career i could possibly have though, unless i end up with folks who take their time to understand someone like me, as i take my time to understand them. the world of academics unfortunately does not seem to be brimming over with such people...

i've already considered that i might just go back to working at the library like i was. i cant handle the drama of being misunderstood constantly.