Door to door jesus

[Callaway]

I had 2 Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door the other day, one of them started going down the normal pre-scripted spiel when I stopped him and asked what church he was from.  When he said J/W, I said "Thanks for the offer, but I gave up on playing the lottery, I'd have better chances of being struck by lightning while sitting in my watchtower".  He didn't get it at first, but his partner who was with him (who hadn't said a word the entire time) suddenly got a disgusted look on his face, grabbed the guy by the arm and said "it's time to go".

For anyone who doesn't get that, the J/Ws believe that Heaven has only a certain number of vacancies, so even if you play your cards right, you still only have a 20% or so chance of actually getting in to heaven.  Also, the J/W monthly newsletter is called "The Watchtower".

I have heard that too. What of the people that have already died or those yet to live? I think the percentage is smaller. Would they let autistics in?

I think the number that they believe get into Heaven is 144,000.

For the rest of us, they believe that there will be a Paradise on Earth.

['andersom']

I had 2 Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door the other day, one of them started going down the normal pre-scripted spiel when I stopped him and asked what church he was from.  When he said J/W, I said "Thanks for the offer, but I gave up on playing the lottery, I'd have better chances of being struck by lightning while sitting in my watchtower".  He didn't get it at first, but his partner who was with him (who hadn't said a word the entire time) suddenly got a disgusted look on his face, grabbed the guy by the arm and said "it's time to go".

For anyone who doesn't get that, the J/Ws believe that Heaven has only a certain number of vacancies, so even if you play your cards right, you still only have a 20% or so chance of actually getting in to heaven.  Also, the J/W monthly newsletter is called "The Watchtower".

I have heard that too. What of the people that have already died or those yet to live? I think the percentage is smaller. Would they let autistics in?

I think the number that they believe get into Heaven is 144,000.

For the rest of us, they believe that there will be a Paradise on Earth.

Correct. The 144.000 are the ones who will rule over the others. Government job, while the others live in paradise. There are some more congregations where that is the teaching.

[punkdrew]

I have a friend who saw two JW's coming up his sidewalk. He grabbed a Devil mask (left over from Halloween), slipped it on his face, and when they knocked he answered the door, screamed "OH, SHIT!" and slammed the door.

[odeon]

I had 2 Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door the other day, one of them started going down the normal pre-scripted spiel when I stopped him and asked what church he was from.  When he said J/W, I said "Thanks for the offer, but I gave up on playing the lottery, I'd have better chances of being struck by lightning while sitting in my watchtower".  He didn't get it at first, but his partner who was with him (who hadn't said a word the entire time) suddenly got a disgusted look on his face, grabbed the guy by the arm and said "it's time to go".

For anyone who doesn't get that, the J/Ws believe that Heaven has only a certain number of vacancies, so even if you play your cards right, you still only have a 20% or so chance of actually getting in to heaven.  Also, the J/W monthly newsletter is called "The Watchtower".

I have heard that too. What of the people that have already died or those yet to live? I think the percentage is smaller. Would they let autistics in?

I think the number that they believe get into Heaven is 144,000.

For the rest of us, they believe that there will be a Paradise on Earth.

Correct. The 144.000 are the ones who will rule over the others. Government job, while the others live in paradise. There are some more congregations where that is the teaching.

That's a VERY big government. I hope they don't have a Calandale there.

[Parts]

I had 2 Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door the other day, one of them started going down the normal pre-scripted spiel when I stopped him and asked what church he was from.  When he said J/W, I said "Thanks for the offer, but I gave up on playing the lottery, I'd have better chances of being struck by lightning while sitting in my watchtower".  He didn't get it at first, but his partner who was with him (who hadn't said a word the entire time) suddenly got a disgusted look on his face, grabbed the guy by the arm and said "it's time to go".

For anyone who doesn't get that, the J/Ws believe that Heaven has only a certain number of vacancies, so even if you play your cards right, you still only have a 20% or so chance of actually getting in to heaven.  Also, the J/W monthly newsletter is called "The Watchtower".

I have heard that too. What of the people that have already died or those yet to live? I think the percentage is smaller. Would they let autistics in?

I think the number that they believe get into Heaven is 144,000.

For the rest of us, they believe that there will be a Paradise on Earth.

Correct. The 144.000 are the ones who will rule over the others. Government job, while the others live in paradise. There are some more congregations where that is the teaching.

That's a VERY big government. I hope they don't have a Calandale there.

I hope they do

[TheoK]

Don't you have a Make My Day Law where you live, so you can shoot them for intrusion?

[Parts]

Don't you have a Make My Day Law where you live, so you can shoot them for intrusion?

Maybe I'll just let them in shoot them then stick a gun in there hands and call the cops

[TheoK]

I have a relative in the US. When he lived in Florida, he said you could shoot people if they had intruded into your apartment or house. That's BRAVE! 

[Parts]

I have a relative in the US. When he lived in Florida, he said you could shoot people if they had intruded into your apartment or house. That's BRAVE! 

You can here too if your threatened that's why you keep a gun with the serial numbers filed down to put into their hand after you do

[Callaway]

Don't you have a Make My Day Law where you live, so you can shoot them for intrusion?

I think the make my day law only applies if you feel your life or physical safety are threatened in some way or if the intruders are commiting a crime while on your property, depending on the state.

I don't think it's kosher to invite them inside and then cliam they are trespassing and shoot them.

 :lol:

[TheoK]

But it would be fun.

[Eclair]

I have a relative in the US. When he lived in Florida, he said you could shoot people if they had intruded into your apartment or house. That's BRAVE! 

Yes, I think he is very BRAVE to be your relative. 

['andersom']

I have a relative in the US. When he lived in Florida, he said you could shoot people if they had intruded into your apartment or house. That's BRAVE! 

Yes, I think he is very BRAVE to be your relative. 

 

[odeon]

I have a relative in the US. When he lived in Florida, he said you could shoot people if they had intruded into your apartment or house. That's BRAVE! 

Yes, I think he is very BRAVE to be your relative. 

He has a choice?

['andersom']

I have a relative in the US. When he lived in Florida, he said you could shoot people if they had intruded into your apartment or house. That's BRAVE! 

Yes, I think he is very BRAVE to be your relative. 

He has a choice?

Purely as a technical question one of my kids, still a toddler, asked if it was possible to divorce from your parents. So, yeah, maybe there is a choice. There can very well be the longing to have a choice.