Author Topic: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer  (Read 368 times)

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Offline enronh

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« Last Edit: March 17, 2010, 06:45:10 AM by enronhubbard »

Offline Callaway

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2010, 08:45:41 AM »
Quote
Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.


:yikes:

The way I pictured it, this guy's penis must be very long.

Offline Eclair

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2010, 08:55:16 AM »
Sounds like she might have been sitting on a couch and he's stood up and turkey slapped her.

Offline Callaway

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2010, 09:09:45 AM »
Sounds like she might have been sitting on a couch and he's stood up and turkey slapped her.


I thought she was standing up and he was sitting on the couch, and then he stood up and tried to poke it in her face.

Quote
Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."


Offline Eclair

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2010, 09:18:26 AM »
Sounds like she might have been sitting on a couch and he's stood up and turkey slapped her.


I thought she was standing up and he was sitting on the couch, and then he stood up and tried to poke it in her face.

Quote
Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."



We need the whole police report!

It does say he stood up and was standing over her, so I assumed they were at the same level and he stood up.

Also, I think I assumed she would have been sitting to be at his level to calm the situation down, much like you do with kids, rather than stand over them?

Offline enronh

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2010, 09:23:01 AM »
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/17/legless_lithuanian/

same story different source..


...Officers apparently sat down on a neighbouring couch, at which point Varinauskas decided to whip out his lethal weapon.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch explained to Aberdeen Sheriff Court: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Offline Callaway

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2010, 09:27:17 AM »
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/17/legless_lithuanian/

same story different source..


...Officers apparently sat down on a neighbouring couch, at which point Varinauskas decided to whip out his lethal weapon.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch explained to Aberdeen Sheriff Court: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Thanks for settling this, enronhubbard.

My assumption that the policewoman was standing up was wrong and maybe the accused does not have the monstrously long penis I pictured at first.

:LMAO:

Offline Eclair

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2010, 09:30:49 AM »
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/17/legless_lithuanian/

same story different source..


...Officers apparently sat down on a neighbouring couch, at which point Varinauskas decided to whip out his lethal weapon.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch explained to Aberdeen Sheriff Court: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Thanks for settling this, enronhubbard.

My assumption that the policewoman was standing up was wrong and maybe the accused does not have the monstrously long penis I pictured at first.

:LMAO:

It's always good to live in hope!

Offline Parts

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2010, 02:26:59 PM »
Quote
forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck

 :plus:
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

DukeNukem

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #9 on: March 17, 2010, 05:36:09 PM »
Is that a baton in your pants?  :lol:

Offline RageBeoulve

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2010, 05:44:02 PM »
Is that a baton in your pants?  :lol:

Duke man. Sup? You've not been too busy? ALSO, BLOW IT OUT YER ASS.
"I’m fearless in my heart.
They will always see that in my eyes.
I am the passion; I am the warfare.
I will never stop...
always constant, accurate, and intense."

  - Steve Vai, "The Audience is Listening"

DukeNukem

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2010, 06:08:05 PM »
Is that a baton in your pants?  :lol:

Duke man. Sup? You've not been too busy? ALSO, BLOW IT OUT YER ASS.

Your face. Your ass. What's the difference?

Offline RageBeoulve

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #12 on: March 17, 2010, 06:32:40 PM »
Is that a baton in your pants?  :lol:

Duke man. Sup? You've not been too busy? ALSO, BLOW IT OUT YER ASS.

Your face. Your ass. What's the difference?

I was joking with you, duke. I was also trying to express concern for the fact that I hadn't seen you in a while.
"I’m fearless in my heart.
They will always see that in my eyes.
I am the passion; I am the warfare.
I will never stop...
always constant, accurate, and intense."

  - Steve Vai, "The Audience is Listening"

Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2010, 06:47:27 PM »
in swedish that is called "att olla"

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Re: Dick used his johnson to assault female police officer
« Reply #14 on: March 17, 2010, 08:50:18 PM »
Is that a baton in your pants?  :lol:

Duke man. Sup? You've not been too busy? ALSO, BLOW IT OUT YER ASS.

Your face. Your ass. What's the difference?

Well, we certianly can't tell the difference on you. :jaded: