Discuss GalileoAce

[Phlexor]

What;s difficult about it is that it's hard to socialise as a woman if you're biologically male (or man if you're female), but then you need to be able to do that before you can get the  hormones/surgery etc which would help you pass better. I mean the whole "living as a woman" thing needs to be passed before you're allowed the treatment that would make this easier. I can never expect to pass as an adult male without at least taking testosterone. But to do that, you need to be "living as a man" anyway. Life would be a lot easier if it iwas more socially acceptable to be neither male/female or masculine/feminine. Would make my life a lot easier anyway  
And I can only imagine it's a lot harder for MTFs

Most places don't do a "Real Life Test". My psych wanted me to be sure by experiencing what it would be like, even in part to some small extent, to be treated as a girl. It was his suggestion that I ask my friends (I do believe he specifically mentioned my "gender confused friends" as Phlexor so 'eloquently' put it). Some places/people let you go straight on to hormones without any of that real life stuff first. Letting hormones do their thing first... For some people it's close to impossible to leave as their target gender without some sort medical intervention.

I'm not here to make you feel good about it. That's not going to help you. In real life there are always going to be people giving you shit about it. Get used to it as it's going to part of your life from now on.

[GalileoAce]

What;s difficult about it is that it's hard to socialise as a woman if you're biologically male (or man if you're female), but then you need to be able to do that before you can get the  hormones/surgery etc which would help you pass better. I mean the whole "living as a woman" thing needs to be passed before you're allowed the treatment that would make this easier. I can never expect to pass as an adult male without at least taking testosterone. But to do that, you need to be "living as a man" anyway. Life would be a lot easier if it iwas more socially acceptable to be neither male/female or masculine/feminine. Would make my life a lot easier anyway 
And I can only imagine it's a lot harder for MTFs

Most places don't do a "Real Life Test". My psych wanted me to be sure by experiencing what it would be like, even in part to some small extent, to be treated as a girl. It was his suggestion that I ask my friends (I do believe he specifically mentioned my "gender confused friends" as Phlexor so 'eloquently' put it). Some places/people let you go straight on to hormones without any of that real life stuff first. Letting hormones do their thing first... For some people it's close to impossible to leave as their target gender without some sort medical intervention.

I'm not here to make you feel good about it. That's not going to help you. In real life there are always going to be people giving you shit about it. Get used to it as it's going to part of your life from now on.

I'm still allowed to respond to such things.

[Phlexor]

What;s difficult about it is that it's hard to socialise as a woman if you're biologically male (or man if you're female), but then you need to be able to do that before you can get the  hormones/surgery etc which would help you pass better. I mean the whole "living as a woman" thing needs to be passed before you're allowed the treatment that would make this easier. I can never expect to pass as an adult male without at least taking testosterone. But to do that, you need to be "living as a man" anyway. Life would be a lot easier if it iwas more socially acceptable to be neither male/female or masculine/feminine. Would make my life a lot easier anyway 
And I can only imagine it's a lot harder for MTFs

Most places don't do a "Real Life Test". My psych wanted me to be sure by experiencing what it would be like, even in part to some small extent, to be treated as a girl. It was his suggestion that I ask my friends (I do believe he specifically mentioned my "gender confused friends" as Phlexor so 'eloquently' put it). Some places/people let you go straight on to hormones without any of that real life stuff first. Letting hormones do their thing first... For some people it's close to impossible to leave as their target gender without some sort medical intervention.

I'm not here to make you feel good about it. That's not going to help you. In real life there are always going to be people giving you shit about it. Get used to it as it's going to part of your life from now on.

I'm still allowed to respond to such things.

Sure, but be a smart ass in real life and it could be painful. That's not a threat from me, that's just reality for you. Unless you have the balls to back it up (no pun intended).

[GalileoAce]

I've survived 26yrs being a smart arse. I'm sure I can continue as is just fine. Thanks for your concern.

[Adam]

You really make a lot of assumptions and generalisations

You are really sensitive.

how so?

[TheoK]

you seem to be under the impression that trans people choose hormones and/or surgery because of other people's perception of them/

That is all gender is about, perception, so yes they do.

I thought it would be more for attaining physical identity compatible to the psychological self-image of their gender in most cases. Basically the mind thinks it is a specific gender intrinsically, but is alienated by it's own physical form not matching it's mental profile.

If you were born a man you were "meant" to be a man. It's the self-image that needs to be corrected, if anything.

It is the fact that people think there is something wrong with being a man (genetically) and having traits and other things attributed to them that are normally associated with being a female.   If you perceive this to be a negative thing that has to be fixed, and lack contentment and happiness over this, then you are just hurting yourself.   You are going along with society and the notion that your "gender" (which is created by society in the first place) has to match your sex.   Making one match the other isn't going to bring you happiness necessarily, just maybe a small amount of social normalcy.

Yes, like AS. 90% of our "problems" stem from the NTs' unwillingness to simply accept us as we are.

[odeon]

you seem to be under the impression that trans people choose hormones and/or surgery because of other people's perception of them/

That is all gender is about, perception, so yes they do.

I thought it would be more for attaining physical identity compatible to the psychological self-image of their gender in most cases. Basically the mind thinks it is a specific gender intrinsically, but is alienated by it's own physical form not matching it's mental profile.

If you were born a man you were "meant" to be a man. It's the self-image that needs to be corrected, if anything.

It is the fact that people think there is something wrong with being a man (genetically) and having traits and other things attributed to them that are normally associated with being a female.   If you perceive this to be a negative thing that has to be fixed, and lack contentment and happiness over this, then you are just hurting yourself.   You are going along with society and the notion that your "gender" (which is created by society in the first place) has to match your sex.   Making one match the other isn't going to bring you happiness necessarily, just maybe a small amount of social normalcy.

Yes, like AS. 90% of our "problems" stem from the NTs' unwillingness to simply accept us as we are.

Er, no, IMHO. Most of our problems stem from the disorder itself. You don't have to like it any more than a blind would have to like being forced to manage without eyesight, but to get by you do need to be aware of your problems so you can compensate.

Blaming your problems on the vast majority of those around is not brave, IMO.

[TheoK]

Er, no, IMHO. Most of our problems stem from the disorder itself. You don't have to like it any more than a blind would have to like being forced to manage without eyesight, but to get by you do need to be aware of your problems so you can compensate.

Blaming your problems on the vast majority of those around is not brave, IMO.

It's not a disorder at all, it's society that made it a "disorder".

Just to take one example: for the NTs it's perfectly OK to make up lies, just to be "sociable". It's even expected on many or most occasions, while I myself only lie if I really have to or to keep someone from knowing something dreadful that won't help them anyway. I will never accept it being OK to lie like NTs do, just because they're a majority. It's only "normal" statistically, nothing else.

[GalileoAce]

Yes there are social issues that come about because society works according to NT brains not Aspie brains. But that's not NT's fault, they are the majority.

There are also a host of other, non-social issues that some Aspies (and other's don't) that have nothing to do with NTs.

[TheoK]

Yes there are social issues that come about because society works according to NT brains not Aspie brains. But that's not NT's fault, they are the majority.

There are also a host of other, non-social issues that some Aspies (and other's don't) that have nothing to do with NTs.

So, if the majority are religious dumbfucks believing that Earth is flat, people with brains should accept that?

I don't give a fuck about what the majority thinks as long as they leave me alone.

[GalileoAce]

Yes there are social issues that come about because society works according to NT brains not Aspie brains. But that's not NT's fault, they are the majority.

There are also a host of other, non-social issues that some Aspies (and other's don't) that have nothing to do with NTs.

So, if the majority are religious dumbfucks believing that Earth is flat, people with brains should accept that?

I don't give a fuck about what the majority thinks as long as they leave me alone.

Those are not comparative examples.

[TheoK]

Yes there are social issues that come about because society works according to NT brains not Aspie brains. But that's not NT's fault, they are the majority.

There are also a host of other, non-social issues that some Aspies (and other's don't) that have nothing to do with NTs.

So, if the majority are religious dumbfucks believing that Earth is flat, people with brains should accept that?

I don't give a fuck about what the majority thinks as long as they leave me alone.

Those are not comparative examples.

Why not?

The majority are dumbfucks, btw. The general public think that Aspies are potential terrorists and school-shooters with no feelings for other human beings. Not that I get very warm feelings for them through these prejudices, though.

[odeon]

Er, no, IMHO. Most of our problems stem from the disorder itself. You don't have to like it any more than a blind would have to like being forced to manage without eyesight, but to get by you do need to be aware of your problems so you can compensate.

Blaming your problems on the vast majority of those around is not brave, IMO.

It's not a disorder at all, it's society that made it a "disorder".

Just to take one example: for the NTs it's perfectly OK to make up lies, just to be "sociable". It's even expected on many or most occasions, while I myself only lie if I really have to or to keep someone from knowing something dreadful that won't help them anyway. I will never accept it being OK to lie like NTs do, just because they're a majority. It's only "normal" statistically, nothing else.

The fact is that because of the disorder (or rather, the group of disorders, and yes, so sorry, I do think it is a disorder), we miss a huge portion of the non-verbal communication taking place between the vast majority of the population. Quite a few of us have problems with language and communication--I see my son struggling with this every day, not because he is stupid but because he is autistic--and comorbids such as OCD and ADD are common, etc, etc, etc. Ignoring these facts is not going to help you, just as pretending that the blind's lack of eyesight is everyone else's problem, not his, will help the blind.

You can overcome your limitations only when being aware of them. Yes, the society can help, and yes, those around you can help, but it's not THEIR responsibility to find out about and compensate for those limitations to the extent possible, it's YOURS. They have their own problems; why should they care about yours? It's not a blame game and treating it as such will only serve to make your life more miserable than it has to be.

[odeon]

Yes there are social issues that come about because society works according to NT brains not Aspie brains. But that's not NT's fault, they are the majority.

There are also a host of other, non-social issues that some Aspies (and other's don't) that have nothing to do with NTs.

So, if the majority are religious dumbfucks believing that Earth is flat, people with brains should accept that?

I don't give a fuck about what the majority thinks as long as they leave me alone.

So stop blaming them for your problems and you'll be fine. It's far more likely, statistically speaking, that you are wrong and they are right.

['andersom']

AS is a disorder in itself. Being in a world that is not AS oriented makes it clearer and yes, partly does make the disability a disability.

Being blind is a disability in itself. Living in a visually oriented world does make it more clear. And does make it a disability partly.

Now, in a world full of blind people, it probably would not be a disability.

In a world full of people on the spectrum, it still would be I think. Because we all are so different.

When I read of autism friendly areas written by 'experts', I get nauseous. It would not be the environment I could be in. What is needed for one is abhorrent for another.