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Author Topic: Jones here, Mr. Jones  (Read 3348 times)

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Offline Peter

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2006, 08:34:59 AM »
I also write erotica...and I'm good at it. If you ask nice I'll post one of my erotic pieces here so the ladies will have something to get off to besides Peter's pics.

We should team up; you could write erotic stories, and I could model for the illustrations.

or, you could act them out on film during your world tour.

just a little startup capitol is all we need to make this a reality.  do you know of any banks that would help this small business venture get off the ground?

Yeah, I know places that provide funding, but I think they have clauses that prohibit this sort of venture.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2006, 09:11:06 AM »
so...just in case you wanna know what MillaPill sees in an old fuck like myself...here's a pic...actually 2....one shows how pretty I am...one shows how quirky I am



hello, jonesy.  which pic is which, then?

Offline SovaNu

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2006, 09:30:40 AM »
both are pretty... i dunno why he thinks he's quirky. :)
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
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"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
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MrJones

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2006, 09:37:53 AM »
God, I love you.

Offline SovaNu

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2006, 09:39:18 AM »
i love you too God. :)
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline McGiver

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #20 on: September 13, 2006, 10:45:38 AM »
God, I love you.

will you still be saying that after she opens the gates of bliss?
Misunderstood.

Offline odeon

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #21 on: September 13, 2006, 02:32:54 PM »
Homeless guy with access to an internet-enabled computer... for those of us without direct experience of homelessness, please explain.

The homeless guys we have around here usually sleep in shopping mall hallways, have no cars, and definitely no internet hookups.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Peter

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2006, 02:43:58 PM »
Homeless guy with access to an internet-enabled computer... for those of us without direct experience of homelessness, please explain.

The homeless guys we have around here usually sleep in shopping mall hallways, have no cars, and definitely no internet hookups.

Libraries and internet cafe's, or a laptop with wifi and some wardriving.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline odeon

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #23 on: September 13, 2006, 02:48:32 PM »
Yes, any of them will work. But I want to hear how Mr Jones does it.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

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MrJones

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #24 on: September 14, 2006, 01:19:57 AM »
God, I love you.

will you still be saying that after she opens the gates of bliss?

Yes sir. I've thought I was in love 4 times before. In all four cases I bedded the lasses within a week or two of meeting them. 3 of the four I was with for 5+ years before they dumped me. Milla and I started as friends, and though I quickly fell for her, I knew that for this perfect, purposefull, deliciously troubled woman to be more than my friend was impossible. It was completely outside my ability to conceptualize that one so pure, so strong, could ever want me as more than a friend. One night after we had been friends for about 7 months, spending 8-12 hours a day online together with narry a moment of silence, building the type of deep, mutually respectful friendship that I had only ever read about, she expressed a desire to get out of Laplan...er, Finland, and come to the U.S.. But alas, she said, I'd have to find some idiot to marry me.

"I'll marry you Milla," I said without hesitation.

"ha...but Bobs...I'm not really into sex and stuff."

"Mills...I don't care. I've had enough sex. I want to be your friend, and give you the escape you desire. I could care less if we ever even kiss, I just want to walk on the beach with you at sunrise, I want to hear you laugh. I want to protect you from harm and have the privilege of watching you grow into the incredible person I know you will be."

"You're nuts Bob...but very sweet. Thank you for the offer."

The moment passed. Milla went back to her bottle of Jaagermeister and I went back to my shell. But I think that's when she felt the first blush of possibility.

Over the next few months things changed for us. I'll be damned if we didn't start acting like there was a "B" and a "G" in front of our respective "F's". I occasionally teased her about marrying me, but she always laughed it off. One day I told my friend Todd that I as considering telling Milla that I loved her. He wisely, strenuously advised against it. I ignored him, and two days later I used the "L" word. Millas response was, I believe, "How is that possible, we've never even met?" I said I didn't know how it was possible, but that the feelings I had for her equated to love in my mind. A week or two passed. One day I said..."Mills..have I asked you to marry me recently?"

"I don't think so.."

"Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me Milla?"

And then the universe did a hard reboot as she said,

"Ah....what the hell...yes"

"Yes?"

"Yes"

This is love McJagger. I'm in love for the first time. See...one thing you should know is that I was drunk from the time I was 18 to just past my 44th birthday. So, in many real ways I am as virginal as she. I've never been in love sober, nor made love sober. Milla and I will be together until we die, hopefully in true Vonnegut-esque style, within minutes of each other.

So..um...the answer to your question is, yes.

Offline Tom/Mutate

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #25 on: September 14, 2006, 11:43:43 AM »
To quote John Wayne "well, it looks as though we got ourselves a ladies man here!"   It is good to see you on the site MR!

Offline lilia

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #26 on: September 14, 2006, 03:00:26 PM »
I have to say, your writing style reminds me quite a bit of Tom Robbins (one of my many obsessions) - who is also a resident of Washington.  Ya'll must grow some pretty damned good writers there.

MrJones

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2006, 11:17:32 PM »
To quote John Wayne "well, it looks as though we got ourselves a ladies man here!"   It is good to see you on the site MR!

Thanks...though I must say I really am not a ladies man. My overt, hopelessly romantic streak is actually a decades old defense mechanism I developed to counteract a deeply ingrained shyness mandated by my genetically relatated insecurity and social ineptitude. But it's no longer important that the secret is kept. I am permanently, irrevocably, blissfully unavailable, thanks to the best girlfriend a guy ever had.

MrJones

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #28 on: September 14, 2006, 11:29:15 PM »
I have to say, your writing style reminds me quite a bit of Tom Robbins (one of my many obsessions) - who is also a resident of Washington.  Ya'll must grow some pretty damned good writers there.



That's very nice of you to say. I find it particularly interesting for two reasons. 1)...I have never been able to read Tom Robbins. The three or 4 times I tried I had to stop after a couple dozen pages because something about his narrative style made my skin crawl. One of my favorite things to do as a writer is to make people itch....hmmmm.

2)...I practically live at Sunset Bowl in Ballard. It is my understanding that one of Tom Robbins novels features a character that is a troll who lives underneath...yup...Sunset Bowl.

MillaPill might very well withold some sort of Vanilla delight from me if I don't mention that Chuck Palahniuk is also a native of the state of Washington.

And thank you again for your kind words.


Offline lilia

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Re: Jones here, Mr. Jones
« Reply #29 on: September 14, 2006, 11:32:34 PM »
Your writing isn't as disjointed as his, but it has some of the same lyrical qualities, I think.